has anyone seen my genitals?

[unclej]

i'm sure i had them when i woke up this morning. i seem to remember playing with them for a while when i first woke up and really, the last time i remember seeing them they were hanging out in the men's room at a local restaurant. now i can't friggin' find them.

anyone?

 

[claude_moveml]

Looks like it ran away with the little legs it has.

 

[Moi]

Where's my microscope?

 

[red_rose]

Detachable Penis by King Missle

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time: it's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time: I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find it so I called up the place where the party was. They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet (because for some reason I leave it there sometimes) but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called some other people from the party but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed. So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on.

I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but, I don't know. Even though it's sometimes a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.

 

[DannyBoyUK]

They might be hanging between my legs - mine didnt look familiar when I went for a piss just now.

 

[red_rose]

Please tell me *someone* else remembers that song!

 

[claude_moveml]

Please tell me *someone* else remembers that song!

I do! Listened to it a couple of days ago in fact

 

[J.B.]

Re: Detachable Penis by King Missle

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time: it's detachable.
<snip>
Then as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on.
<snip>

I lov this song. Makes me laugh every time I hear it.

unclj: Have you looked under the bed??? whenever I lose something it's usually there...

 

[plasticman33]

i'm sure i had them when i woke up this morning. i seem to remember playing with them for a while when i first woke up and really, the last time i remember seeing them they were hanging out in the men's room at a local restaurant. now i can't friggin' find them.

anyone?

Now Godammit! That was a stupid thing to do! Can't you be trusted to do anything right? What the hell is wrong with you?

 

[Wysteria]

Please tell me *someone* else remembers that song!

Yup! Second thing I thought of when I saw the thread title.

The first was, "No -- do you think I should?"

 

[Kitte]

I was expecting pictures...but yes I remember that song...

 

[glamorilla]

King Missle is one of the coolest names for a band.

 

[unclej]

microscope, i got yer microscope ya little snagglesmafingraafinlafer. (no respect at all i tell ya)

red_rose, that freaked me for a minute. i thought you were just making that up as you go until i saw that you gave credit to the author..still pretty weird.

dannyboy, check again dude, mine haven't been missing that long

under the bed, behind the cushions on the couch, i've looked in those places

 

[desert spike]

If you do ever find your dick again, maybe ya should put a leash on it so it doen't wonder off again!!

 

[unclej]

good god plasticman, don't do that. shit, you sounded exactly like my dad and he's been dead for 20 years. scared the crap out of me.

 

[marksgirl]

Hey I wanted to see the pictures too! Now get on the stick and play with your digital camera!

 

[islandman]

i'm sure i had them when i woke up this morning. i seem to remember playing with them for a while when i first woke up and really, the last time i remember seeing them they were hanging out in the men's room at a local restaurant. now i can't friggin' find them.

anyone?

Remember that song from the late 80s, detachable penis? Is that what's going on here?

 

[plasticman33]

good god plasticman, don't do that. shit, you sounded exactly like my dad and he's been dead for 20 years. scared the crap out of me.

LMAO!!

OMG you and I had the same father!!

 

[ksmybuttons]

I did a search for penises and testicles on the web and there are 57,400 hits. Maybe one of those is yours...

 

[ksmybuttons]

If you posted a picture, I might be able to help you look...

 

[freescorfr]

I'm laughing unclej. Why? I think it's becasue I have a friend - he's been on messenger today while moving house - for whom life really is like that. I can imagine him in his new place wondering where he's left his tackle. And yes the last place he would have seen it would have been in the Loo in the Queen's Arms.

I'd introduce him to Lit, but he's a pro-lifer, which somehow makes it all the funnier.

 

[Ginny]

psstttt.....hey.....unclej.....there's a new girl pig on the board.....check kitte's new thread......nudge nudge....

find your weenie first......

 

[Kitte]

How did I know you would be here Ginny

 

[unclej]

ok, everyone can quit lookin'..found that big headed sumbitch out on the screenporch swattin' flies, eatin' popcorn and drinkin' ice tea.

i like the little oklahoma piglette ginny. thanks for the heads up. (hehehe i said heads up)

 

[JazzManJim]

unclej...as much as I like you, let me just say that I never really started looking.

I didn't want to accidentally find your junk, man. That would be wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy strange.