Happy Birthday Dolf!!!

[VaticanAssassin]

You old shrew........

 

[hobbit.]

You old shrew........

dear dolf
i wish you exactly what you wished me and countless others on their birthdays......



(or you could have a nice day)

 

[VaticanAssassin]

 

[hummermania]

Have a great one!

 

[dolf]

better late than never i s'pose *sniff*

thank you, poopyheads.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Does this mean her shelf life expired?

 

[VaticanAssassin]

Does this mean her shelf life expired?

nah...she is still queen of the GB, no matter how dubious the title.

 

[Joeybagadonuts]

From one poopyhead to another, Happy Birthday!

 

[blobfish]

Until I met dolf, my mind was awash in existentialist belief. I was purposeless. A nameless, useless particle of microscopic space dust drifting listlessly through an unforgiving universe.

No longer.

My purpose in life has become to make her delightfully spectral, British skin crawl by exposing her to my raw, masculine sexuality. My writhing form haunts her dreams. Her mind is at odds; should she kill me horribly, or would I like that?

There never was a dolfish, nor will there be in the future. Alas, time has cruelly driven a wedge between us. Perhaps we will be closer in the next life? Until then, dolf, you shall remain to me an avatar of the unattainable. Your face is that of abject desire.

The world has not been the same, these 37 years.

Happy birthday!

 

[blobfish]

By the way, don't eat anything you find in Byron's house.

 

[trysail]

You old shrew........

The word harridan has something to recommend it. It does have a certain onomatopoeia going for it.

 

[warrior queen]

As I get older, I find my birthdays are less about celebrating my existance and more about planning for all those things I have yet to do.
Here's hoping you're not quite so jaded!
Happy Birthday

 

[Lorilei]

Happy birthday!

 

[dolf]

that's better

and i ate chocolate for breakfast.

 

[SalviaDivinorum]

Happy Birthday! One year less than next year....

 

[blobfish]

Hey dolf, what is your favorite movie?

 

[zipman]

You old shrew........

Funny, she doesn't look shrewish.

Happy belated Dolf.

 

[VaticanAssassin]

Funny, she doesn't look shrewish.

Happy belated Dolf.

nor is she old...being just one year younger than me.

But we all know men age better, so in girl years she is older.

 

[trysail]

that's better

and i ate chocolate for breakfast.

The Secret To Genius? It Might Be More Chocolate
by Kevin Charles Redmon

Nerds, rejoice! It's Nobel season — the Oscars for lab rats, peacemakers and cognoscenti alike. Every fall, big thinkers around the world wait for a middle-of-the-night phone call from Sweden, dreaming of what they might do with the $1.2 million prize.

The entire European Union won the coveted peace prize today, while Chinese novelist Mo Yan received the literature prize yesterday for his "hallucinatory realism." (Check out his eye-popping take on Chinese food culture in The Republic of Wine.) And earlier in the week, American researchers picked up awards in both chemistry and physics.

So what does it take to create a genius worthy of a Nobel? The answer may have something to do with chocolate. According to a very tongue-in-cheek report published online this week by the New England Journal of Medicine, a country's propensity for producing Nobel laureates might just be correlated to its national appetite for the sinful stuff.

Franz Messerli, a cardiologist at New York's St. Luke's*-Roosevelt Hospital, penned the article, and he's done a lot of interviews this week.

After being asked to peer review an article on flavanols, the substances found in tea, wine and chocolate, among other things, that seem to help slow down or even reverse the mental slowdowns of aging, he began to toy around with a silly idea: If chocolate consumption could boost a septuagenarian's brain power, might it also boost an entire country's?

Messerli, who is Swiss, knew that his homeland had the highest per-capita number of Nobel Prize winners. "It occurred to me that the Swiss also had the highest chocolate consumption in the world," he tells The Salt. "I put two and two together and thought, 'Well, China must have much less chocolate consumption and probably not that many prizewinners per capita. Let's just plot the two.' "

One rainy afternoon, while stuck in a Katmandu hotel, Messerli got to playing around with the data. When he plugged in numbers from 23 countries, they made a neat linear plot on the page: Not only was the correlation between chocolate consumption and Nobel Prize winners very significant, but the probability that the distribution was due to chance — what researchers call the "p-value" — was tiny.

"I have published about 800 papers in peer-reviewed journals," he says, "and every single one of them stands and falls with the p-value. And now here I find a p-value of 0.0001, and this is, to my way of thinking, a completely nonsensical relation. Unless you — or anybody else — can come up with an explanation. I've presented it to a few of my colleagues, and nobody has any thoughts."

While Messerli's work isn't exactly Shouts & Murmurs material, The New England Journal has a history of occasional humor and satire. A 1984 study examined the probable atropine poisoning of fictional characters in Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter. More recently, clinicians have reported on the rise of "Nintendoitis" ("severe pain in the region of the extensor tendon of the right thumb") and "Hogwarts Headaches" ("the obvious cure for this malady — that is, taking a break from reading — was rejected by two of the patients").

The only outlier in his data set, Messerli likes to point out, is Sweden — the home of the Nobel prizes. Its chocolate consumption predicts only 14 laureates, yet it has produced more than double that number.

"One cannot quite escape the notion that either the Nobel Committee in Stockholm has some inherent patriotic bias when assessing the candidates for these awards," he writes, "or, perhaps, that the Swedes are particularly sensitive to chocolate, and even miniscule amounts increase their cognition."




http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/20...e-secret-to-genius-it-might-be-more-chocolate

 

[VaticanAssassin]

I bought you a present. They are for beginners...

 

[kbate]

i would offer belated birthday wishes, but wishes are nothing more than a pointless exercise in futile dreamcatching and belated wishing is even more futile, the triggering event having already passed and the wish being not only futile but also now untriggered.

so bitch - you're officially a year older, and even though year counting is only for the purposes of collection of death, parentage and other statistics used to tax you to death. i am happy you are still able to count another year and are not late in a worse way than this greeting.

you may notice that i did not capitalise in this post in order to respect your lazy ways, which i suspect is not true laziness but instead the onset of early age related dementia. i'll bet your boobs sagged another half inch as well.

happy getting old, bitch.

 

[dolf]

keep off the arse.

 

[blobfish]

I want to get her a pair of lady's knickers with her favourite mouvie on them.

 

[dolf]

i would offer belated birthday wishes, but wishes are nothing more than a pointless exercise in futile dreamcatching and belated wishing is even more futile, the triggering event having already passed and the wish being not only futile but also now untriggered.

so bitch - you're officially a year older, and even though year counting is only for the purposes of collection of death, parentage and other statistics used to tax you to death. i am happy you are still able to count another year and are not late in a worse way than this greeting.

you may notice that i did not capitalise in this post in order to respect your lazy ways, which i suspect is not true laziness but instead the onset of early age related dementia. i'll bet your boobs sagged another half inch as well.

happy getting old, bitch.

i will masturbate to this post. twice.

also, you are older than me

 

[dolf]

I want to get her a pair of lady's knickers with her favourite mouvie on them.

tombstone. or jaws.