Bad_Doggie
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2006
- Posts
- 6,808
Yesterday, today or tomorrow was the official start of WW2. So Happy 70th Birthday WW2
And as a run through tribute of important events………
As a warm –up, Japan invades Korea and China 5 years before Hitler assumes power in Berlin.
German Anschluss in Austria. Britian and France say „we’re concerned, now stop that bullshit“
Germany invades Czechoslovakia. Britian and France say "We already told to stop that bullshit. This time, we really, really want you to stop that bullshit. Well, okay, maybe next time.
Germany invades Poland. (Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France “we told you about that shit” and declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, socialists & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
Australia tells New Zealand and Canada there's a blue on and we're invited.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
British expeditionary forces continental break is cancelled and they all head for the beaches
Britian holds out in the darkness of the underground and fights to the death in the skies.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range and you sure as shit can make money out of a war.
The Rats of Tobruk drive up and down Africa. Uncle Erwin is miffed. Uncle Adolph is miffeder. “It isn’t the end or the beginning of the end but perhaps the end of the beginning”
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbour.
And runs through Asia like a hot vindaloo through a colostomy bag. Britain resists, bravely sacrificing an Australian Division in Singapore.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
MacArthur preludes Arnie and says “I’ll be back” to the Philippines
Australia notices that the Japanese aren't exactly heading for New York.
For the Nazi things get stuck in Stalingrad and decide to spend Christmas there. Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing and start going home. “perhaps this is the beginning of the end”
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians and Hollywood movies also forgets the Brits.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball.
The US gets tired of invading stuff and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had and some that it didn’t have so they pay for the show for the next 60 years!.
Hollywood starts making film telling everybody how it was all about them, & 70 years later is still doing so.
The US nukes Nevada, France nukes the Pacific, Russia nukes Novoya Zemlya and the UK nukes Australia, thus ensuring world peace. Well sorta.
Did I miss anything important????
Woof!
And as a run through tribute of important events………
As a warm –up, Japan invades Korea and China 5 years before Hitler assumes power in Berlin.
German Anschluss in Austria. Britian and France say „we’re concerned, now stop that bullshit“
Germany invades Czechoslovakia. Britian and France say "We already told to stop that bullshit. This time, we really, really want you to stop that bullshit. Well, okay, maybe next time.
Germany invades Poland. (Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France “we told you about that shit” and declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, socialists & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
Australia tells New Zealand and Canada there's a blue on and we're invited.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
British expeditionary forces continental break is cancelled and they all head for the beaches
Britian holds out in the darkness of the underground and fights to the death in the skies.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range and you sure as shit can make money out of a war.
The Rats of Tobruk drive up and down Africa. Uncle Erwin is miffed. Uncle Adolph is miffeder. “It isn’t the end or the beginning of the end but perhaps the end of the beginning”
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbour.
And runs through Asia like a hot vindaloo through a colostomy bag. Britain resists, bravely sacrificing an Australian Division in Singapore.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
MacArthur preludes Arnie and says “I’ll be back” to the Philippines
Australia notices that the Japanese aren't exactly heading for New York.
For the Nazi things get stuck in Stalingrad and decide to spend Christmas there. Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing and start going home. “perhaps this is the beginning of the end”
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians and Hollywood movies also forgets the Brits.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball.
The US gets tired of invading stuff and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had and some that it didn’t have so they pay for the show for the next 60 years!.
Hollywood starts making film telling everybody how it was all about them, & 70 years later is still doing so.
The US nukes Nevada, France nukes the Pacific, Russia nukes Novoya Zemlya and the UK nukes Australia, thus ensuring world peace. Well sorta.
Did I miss anything important????
Woof!
