Happly Married...

[moocha01]

yes

But how long for? is a reason to look at together ,forever could be a long time and eventually, the frustration may get too much

 

[36524]

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[Pink_Milkmaid]

Being happily married, in my mind, means the sexual relationship is well-developed and well-communicated, in addition to other aspects of your shared life together. If either of you feel unsatisfied... how does that still mean you're "happily married?" Is love the only criteria for a happy marriage? I don't think so.

I guess my definition of happy is a bit broader. If one isn't planning to leave and still finds some satisfaction in the partnership, particularly if there are some physical parts that bring some happiness even if not the quantity or type you want, you can still find some happiness. It doesn't have to be perfect or ideal to be happy. It's kind of like work--you can be happy in your job in general and still have things that drive you nuts

 

[36524]

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[newhere2learn]

Being happily married, in my mind, means the sexual relationship is well-developed and well-communicated, in addition to other aspects of your shared life together. If either of you feel unsatisfied... how does that still mean you're "happily married?" Is love the only criteria for a happy marriage? I don't think so.

But neither is sex alone. If all other aspects are good, only with the frequency of sex being low, then it can still work for many.

 

[mrspank30]

I am!

Make 3 of us..

Hmm what fun things can be done in 3s

 

[36524]

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[newhere2learn]

I would say that works for few-to-some. Many cheat, or divorce, since not everyone can work a swinger's marriage, or live with the sexual incongruity; people have hurt feelings and jealousy and bitterness when sex goes awry. I suppose my confusion is that marriage is about being committed to that one other person, when you get married, typically, there's no one else in the picture.

And let me be clear, this is my understanding of a concept of qualia that certainly has no right or wrong to its definition. This is just my thinking of it.

Perhaps the question would never gain an impartial response from a site where 90% of the inhabitants are here looking for additional sexual fun in one form or another?

Compared to asking the same questions in a coffee shop, church or hospital for instance.

I.e. man who's wife has say cancer, could be reasonably expected to put his desire on hold for months/years whilst she had treatment.

If after a month he said "fuck this I'm horny" and started pumping her best friend full of cum 5 nights a week, or filed for divorce he'd be somewhat if a dick, no?

 

[BareBackRider2]

Do you think it's possible to be happily married but still very frustrated with your sex life?

Yes

Stick with it

Grass is NOT greener on the other side

 

[StrongMaster7]

After nearly 30 years, I think marriage is about love, trust, understanding, support, friendship, spirituality and intimacy (physical and emotional).

Sex is terribly important to me and my wife and I have a wide gap in our needs. I would like sex every day and would love to explore all sorts of kink and play and fun between the two of us. My wife is more than happy with a quickie a few times a month.

Sex involves hormones and desires that can become obsession. So it can seem like the most important thing in the world, until the 'morning after'.

For those of you who have a dream marriage filled with all the sex and all the kinds of sex you ever want, consider how you might feel if your partner became unable to have sex with you ever again through accident, illness or other circumstance. Now how good is your marriage? I hope it's still wonderful.

As much as I would love for my wife to be a total nympho for me, I value her trust and companionship so much that I am happy to accept her just as she is. And I am thankful that she accepts me for who I am. Just my two cents.

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

After nearly 30 years, I think marriage is about love, trust, understanding, support, friendship, spirituality and intimacy (physical and emotional).

Sex is terribly important to me and my wife and I have a wide gap in our needs. I would like sex every day and would love to explore all sorts of kink and play and fun between the two of us. My wife is more than happy with a quickie a few times a month.

Sex involves hormones and desires that can become obsession. So it can seem like the most important thing in the world, until the 'morning after'.

For those of you who have a dream marriage filled with all the sex and all the kinds of sex you ever want, consider how you might feel if your partner became unable to have sex with you ever again through accident, illness or other circumstance. Now how good is your marriage? I hope it's still wonderful.

As much as I would love for my wife to be a total nympho for me, I value her trust and companionship so much that I am happy to accept her just as she is. And I am thankful that she accepts me for who I am. Just my two cents.

This is pretty much my situation too. I'm working on the "accepting him just as he is" part of it. It's hard but to me, at least, it's the best course of action. Accept him, limitations and all, because he certainly accepts me, faults and all too. At certain point too, rearview mirror gazing becomes pointless. Most of us on these marriage threads didn't expect life to work out this way. Sexual compatibility is a very tricky thing, and what was compatible a decade (or more!) ago may not be now, and that's just a fact of life, not anyone's fault on either side.

 

[36524]

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[KinkyGAGuy]

I think this is a very real problem in society. You have one partner that is sexually frustrated, but overall happy in the marriage and relationship, then you have another that has that burning desire for either more sex, or just plain different sex.

Well you either have to suck it up, and believe that you are blessed with what you have, or you must talk to your partner about what you both want.

Some of you have stated that you are having affairs, thinking of open relationships, or discussingwether your partner will share you or not.

So let me ask you this, if the shoe was on the other foot, would you share your partner? Sexual compatability is a huge thing in relationships anymore. Lets look at the reality of divorce rates, due to infidelity.

I get it, some people just don't feel that sex is all that important, but it is very important. Some people need sex to validate their happiness, sometimes it is different sex that they seek to validate their own happiness. However also think deep about this, if you are not satisfying your partner, whether it be the frequency , or kinkiness of the sex you are having, it will eventually creep into the happy side of that relationship and could destroy it.

Just my 2 cents

 

[Madmar]

Perhaps the question would never gain an impartial response from a site where 90% of the inhabitants are here looking for additional sexual fun in one form or another?

Compared to asking the same questions in a coffee shop, church or hospital for instance.

I.e. man who's wife has say cancer, could be reasonably expected to put his desire on hold for months/years whilst she had treatment.

If after a month he said "fuck this I'm horny" and started pumping her best friend full of cum 5 nights a week, or filed for divorce he'd be somewhat if a dick, no?

I agree. I think the nature of the "audience" here precludes a proper perspective. We're already putting a premium on the sexual aspect or we wouldn't be here. But there is no answer we or anyone else can provide externally. It's always going to come down to whatever the individual person decides they can accept versus what is a deal breaker.

 

[Madmar]

This is pretty much my situation too. I'm working on the "accepting him just as he is" part of it. It's hard but to me, at least, it's the best course of action. Accept him, limitations and all, because he certainly accepts me, faults and all too. At certain point too, rearview mirror gazing becomes pointless. Most of us on these marriage threads didn't expect life to work out this way. Sexual compatibility is a very tricky thing, and what was compatible a decade (or more!) ago may not be now, and that's just a fact of life, not anyone's fault on either side.

Me, too. I can't accept how things are sexually for me; however, I don't think it's going to be the deciding factor for me whether my marriage continues or not.

 

[LizVegas79]

Great discussion. I guess I fall into that rather common happily married/somewhat sexually frustrated category.

I expect most women won't agree with me, but I think there's a big difference in loving somebody and fucking somebody. When people get fucking confused with loving that's usually trouble whether they're 10 days into a relationship or 10 years into a relationship.

I'm not pining for an "open-relationship" though.

If my husband cheated on me I'd be pissed.

If I cheated on him, I'd WANT him to be pissed.

Where I see a (fun ) gray area though is for one of us to bring the other one a surprise we could both share together. THAT's what I'm hoping, dreaming, planning for!

I think being in a group situation together will help keep the distinction between love and fucking quite clear for the both of us for the rest of our lives.

Otherwise, I can totally see some hot 30 year old blondie coming along and stealing my hunky hubby when my looks start to fade (in another five or ten years. ). I'm not saying his penis won't end up buried somewhere out in the Mojave Desert if that happens.

But I won't be cool with it probably because I'll be jealous.

Does that sound weird?

 

[36524]

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[mrspank30]

Great discussion. I guess I fall into that rather common happily married/somewhat sexually frustrated category.

I expect most women won't agree with me, but I think there's a big difference in loving somebody and fucking somebody. When people get fucking confused with loving that's usually trouble whether they're 10 days into a relationship or 10 years into a relationship.

I'm not pining for an "open-relationship" though.

If my husband cheated on me I'd be pissed.

If I cheated on him, I'd WANT him to be pissed.

Where I see a (fun ) gray area though is for one of us to bring the other one a surprise we could both share together. THAT's what I'm hoping, dreaming, planning for!

I think being in a group situation together will help keep the distinction between love and fucking quite clear for the both of us for the rest of our lives.

Otherwise, I can totally see some hot 30 year old blondie coming along and stealing my hunky hubby when my looks start to fade (in another five or ten years. ). I'm not saying his penis won't end up buried somewhere out in the Mojave Desert if that happens.

But I won't be cool with it probably because I'll be jealous.

Does that sound weird?

it makes complete sense. I'm happily married and most of the time my sex life is pretty good. it does not mean that I don't find myself craving more or craving things that she may not be into. however we have played with the fantasy at least mentally of having a third to play with. I don't think anyway she would ever truly lol I was there to come play with us but that doesn't mean fantasies not there.

The Sun find my cell phone with Sharon fantasies with the like minded folks. Occationaly playing flirting on lit helps take the edge off sometimes.

 

[LizVegas79]

I think most women actually would agree with you on this. lol I certainly do. However, I am someone who would only ever fuck someone I love.

Well, that's sort of what I meant too. I think most women who are in love don't think about finding other people to bring into their love-making relationship. I think that's where I veer off the tracks from normal a little.

it makes complete sense. I'm happily married and most of the time my sex life is pretty good. it does not mean that I don't find myself craving more or craving things that she may not be into. however we have played with the fantasy at least mentally of having a third to play with. I don't think anyway she would ever truly lol I was there to come play with us but that doesn't mean fantasies not there.

The Sun find my cell phone with Sharon fantasies with the like minded folks. Occationaly playing flirting on lit helps take the edge off sometimes.

Occasionally playing/flirting on LIT definitely helps take the edge off for me sometimes that's for sure!

 

[mrspank30]

Well, that's sort of what I meant too. I think most women who are in love don't think about finding other people to bring into their love-making relationship. I think that's where I veer off the tracks from normal a little.



Occasionally playing/flirting on LIT definitely helps take the edge off for me sometimes that's for sure!

Ok, sometimes it's just necessary. finding the right lady down take that ass off once in awhile online well worth the phone, it keeps me from doing much more dangerous things. I'm also a litle bit ly Q in the there's a big difference between relationship with a woman that I love and fucking someone or getting off with someone. it's rare to find a person who can really just drop that distinction for most people that's very difficult emotionally.

 

[newhere2learn]

I agree. I think the nature of the "audience" here precludes a proper perspective. We're already putting a premium on the sexual aspect or we wouldn't be here. But there is no answer we or anyone else can provide externally. It's always going to come down to whatever the individual person decides they can accept versus what is a deal breaker.

That was my point.

Also cancer was merely an example. Could just as easily be menopause, mental health issues, fertility problems or even working an obscure shift pattern.

Whilst most Lit residents would probably fuck morning, noon and night (with a solo session in between) the general public have learnt to live happily and monogamously even when they don't get to bump uglies in between courses in a restaurant.

 

[LizVegas79]

Whilst most Lit residents would probably fuck morning, noon and night (with a solo session in between) the general public have learnt to live happily and monogamously even when they don't get to bump uglies in between courses in a restaurant.

(nice use of the word 'whilst' too BTW!)

 

[mrspank30]

Wow, I sound like I'm drunk based on my last Post not very clear and kind of muddled.

 

[ConflictedOne]

(nice use of the word 'whilst' too BTW!)

SOOOO true...

 

[Madmar]

That was my point.

Also cancer was merely an example. Could just as easily be menopause, mental health issues, fertility problems or even working an obscure shift pattern.

Whilst most Lit residents would probably fuck morning, noon and night (with a solo session in between) the general public have learnt to live happily and monogamously even when they don't get to bump uglies in between courses in a restaurant.

Yes, we're seeing eye to eye on this.

Definitely an outlier reason such as an illness, etc. that precludes an individual from pursuing a sexual life themselves whether they want to or not trumps the partner's desires and wishes. A "simple" unwillingness or stubbornness or refusal to particulate or attempt to find an answer in the fullness of a marriage is a problem that should be worked on together but is frequently not.