Happiness is...

[yui]

Tonight, I would simply settle for being able to sleep with no pain and no ache. If I could also have my love in my arms while I slept, I'd be purely happy.

Feel better, min.

 

[logophile]

But would you not also die for a partner who you loved in an instant?

Realising that I am opening massive opportunities to be slapped down as a 20 y/o who doesn't have kids and therefore shouldn't speak about what he doesn't know (don't do that btw, nothing pisses me off more than to be told I can't express my opinion because of my youthful inexperience. It may be an incorrect opinion, but this is why we learn), but I'm just trying to wrap my head around it.

The Earl

Earl,

I hope you don't read my last post as trying to "slap you down for your youthful inexperience." That wasn't my intent at all.

It's perfectly normal for people (regardless of age or other life experience) to not be able to fully realize the depth of parental love. That's not an insult at all. As a woman who has chosen to stay home with my kids, I don't fully realize the drive other people have to pursue a specific career with unending doggedness. That doesn't make me less. It's just different!

 

[TheEarl]

Thanks Min and L. It's something I'd never even considered before; I'd kinda assumed that the love for a partner and love for a child were pretty much equal on average. It's something that few people will articulate and thus I hadn't even thought it was there to consider. Thank you again.

(I agree with you about the age issue, Earl. If I came off as sounding condescending before, I apologize profusely. I'm drugged this eve. )

No, the brief pontification on my part wasn't inspired by you Min. You didn't sound condescending at all. I could just see some of the future replies coming and it's something I just cannot stand. I'm young, impetuous, opinionated and ego-centric and I'll say what I damn well think. If I'm wrong, correct me, but don't tell me I can't comment.

I hope that we all find some measure of happiness tonight. Good night.

The Earl

 

[lucky-E-leven]

But would you not also die for a partner who you loved in an instant?

Realising that I am opening massive opportunities to be slapped down as a 20 y/o who doesn't have kids and therefore shouldn't speak about what he doesn't know (don't do that btw, nothing pisses me off more than to be told I can't express my opinion because of my youthful inexperience. It may be an incorrect opinion, but this is why we learn), but I'm just trying to wrap my head around it.

The Earl

I'm split down the middle here. I have a child and know that it is probably the most rewarding thing in my life. I have also found a partner with whom I feel fulfillment beyond that of motherhood. Without either, I would feel a void in my life. I'd die for both & I live to make both happy.

I think the difference and difficulty for those without children is that the love they share with a partner is all-encompassing. When you have children, the love is just as big but with added elements. You can love and defend to the death a partner, but they are still capable of being responsible for theirself and can and have lived without you. A child, on the other hand, is in existence because of you, directly. They grow & flourish because you care for their every waking need for so long. You live for & through them to some extent for many years, often waking up down the road and wondering who you've become. It's a transformation of colossal proportions for many & I think it just opens parents' eyes to many of life's little quirks/truths that weren't visible before. It sounds belittling to say that being a parent is largely about perspective, but to me it is. Waking up one day to a crying child & realizing that their fate rests precariously in your hands and your hands alone is a mighty heavy realization.



~lucky

 

[yui]

Yui!


*not trying to earn brownie points at all...*

*snort*

Kissup.

(But I'll second your vote for Yui. )

Kisses for the duck!

 

[TheEarl]

Earl,

I hope you don't read my last post as trying to "slap you down for your youthful inexperience." That wasn't my intent at all.

No, twasn't you either L, but thanks for the concern. I just like to get the response in first as it is a major pet peeve.

The Earl

 

[fairysong]

...hearing my parents tell me they love me.

 

[tolyk]

Earl, I would try to explain it to you, but it is beyond my ability to do so. It isn't that I'm stuck for words, it is that, as Logophile said, it is different from everything else.

Now I'm stumbling for words actually

 

[cheerful_deviant]

So you'd say (and I'm not trying to be contraversial here, just curious) that you love the time you spend with your kids more than the happiest moments with your partner? I know I don't have a balanced viewpoint on it (not having kids of my own yet), but I can't wrap my head around children being clearly more important than a partner whom you love.

The Earl

I do say... but others may not, it's only my opinion, you're welcome to yours.

I love my wife and have chosen to spend the rest of my life with her and I love the time I spend with her. And yes, I would give my life for her. With my wife, we are separate people who chose to spend our lives together. But my daughters are different. My daughters are a part of me, they came, at least in some small part, from me. Children can pull at your heartstrings like nothing else.

Sorry, it's a diffacult thing to put into words for me. It's just the way I feel, I'm sure others feel differently and I don't grudge you your opinion at all.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I'm split down the middle here. I have a child and know that it is probably the most rewarding thing in my life. I have also found a partner with whom I feel fulfillment beyond that of motherhood. Without either, I would feel a void in my life. I'd die for both & I live to make both happy.

I think the difference and difficulty for those without children is that the love they share with a partner is all-encompassing. When you have children, the love is just as big but with added elements. You can love and defend to the death a partner, but they are still capable of being responsible for theirself and can and have lived without you. A child, on the other hand, is in existence because of you, directly. They grow & flourish because you care for their every waking need for so long. You live for & through them to some extent for many years, often waking up down the road and wondering who you've become. It's a transformation of colossal proportions for many & I think it just opens parents' eyes to many of life's little quirks/truths that weren't visible before. It sounds belittling to say that being a parent is largely about perspective, but to me it is. Waking up one day to a crying child & realizing that their fate rests precariously in your hands and your hands alone is a mighty heavy realization.



~lucky

That was said perfectly Lucky.

 

[yui]

So you'd say (and I'm not trying to be contraversial here, just curious) that you love the time you spend with your kids more than the happiest moments with your partner? I know I don't have a balanced viewpoint on it (not having kids of my own yet), but I can't wrap my head around children being clearly more important than a partner whom you love.

The Earl

I've always thought that a bit of the difference in the love you feel for a partner and the love you feel for a child is in the protective fierceness of the love for a child. I think children are about as close to unconditional love (giving and receiving) as humans get this side of life.

But I could be wrong.

Luck,

Yui

 

[TheEarl]

So many of you say that it's impossible to put into words, yet the eloquence you have managed speaks volumes about something which I can honestly say never occurred to me. Wasn't even an idea in my head that the love for a child would often supersede that for a partner.

Thank you all for sharing. Now I really am off to bed. Stop being so interesting and let me get some sleep!

The Earl

 

[SeaCat]

Happiness is?

Happiness is a warm blanket, a dry spot, and my lady by my side.

I can't comment on the love for a child as I don't have any, nor will I have any. (Nope not being a snob, nor am I trolling for sympathy. It's a choice I made with reason a long time ago.)

Now contentment would be the same blanket, the same dry spot, and my lady and a friend.

Cat

 

[Guest]

Seeing my Baby smile.

​

 

[stonedfox]

Weelow and Smeena

 

[elsol]

Happiness is...

Having a little extra once you make sure your responsibilities are taken care of ... whether it be money, time, or love.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[fairysong]

Happiness is having a true friend.

 

[LadyCibelle]

Happiness is....

Looking at my children and knowing that today they were healthy.
Looking at my daughter and seeing that she "only" fainted 2-3 times instead of 20.
Looking at my son smile instead of seeing him come back from school crying because someone told him he "wasn't like them"

Going to bed at night and having my husband's arms around me, comforting me while I cry.

 

[minsue]

Looking at my children and knowing that today they were healthy.
Looking at my daughter and seeing that she "only" fainted 2-3 times instead of 20.
Looking at my son smile instead of seeing him come back from school crying because someone told him he "wasn't like them"

Going to bed at night and having my husband's arms around me, comforting me while I cry.

 

[English Lady]

happiness is:

A phone call from mum when I feel down.
The touch of my husbands hand.
Giggling like a school girl with my sister.
Making a connection with a stranger.
Chocolate.
groaning at one of Dad's bad jokes.
Seeing a sunrise.
cooking and then seeing that food enjoyed.
A cold wind stinging my cheeks when the rest of me is wrapped up warm.
Running my toes through cool sand.
Nanna's hotpot.
A bittersweet memory of Grandad and his caring nature.
The ball hitting the back of the oppositions net.
Moments of true communion with God.
Opening a gift.
An unexpected compliment.
A smile, hug or kiss from my daughter.
The sound of her laughing.
Satisfaction in knowing I helped someone.
Silence.
Music that evokes memories.
photograph albums.
Stroking a cat.
a cool drink on a hot day.
Orgasm and the satisfaction after it.
Finishing a story.
Meeting with friends.
A cheesy movie on TV.
Drying tears.
Rainbows.
An unexpected email.(That isn't spam!)
finding money in my pocket.
The lustful look in my husbands eye.
Joyful laughter.
Warching my little one sleep.
Feeling her warmth cuddling into mine.
A snuggly old teddybear.
Nostalgia TV.
The smell of a new book.
The echo of a museum.
Sleeping in my own bed.
Finding a bargain.
Knowing I'm loved.

 

[Guest]

so many things.
impossible to list them all.
happiness in:
my children...
in my partners arms
in the smell of the salt sea
stability
and
convoluted rational all rolled together in a tidy package.
happiness is
subjective
seeing someone smile because of what ive done...
namless joy.

 

[SensualCealy]

The Earl,

For me, I look at it this way, you can fall out of love with a spouse, but honestly you can't fall out of love with your kids. Well I suppose you could if they did something so bad, but deep down you would still love them.

I think it was Cheerful D. that said children are a part of you. They grew out of the essence of your body, you are forever protective of them. You want to fight their battles, you want to fix their boo boo's, you want to fix their mistakes.

With a spouse , they are their own being, they can make decisions for themselves that you may or may not have a say in. They are your equal. You love them to death as well but I agree it is a different kind of love.

I have a husband of 16 1/2 yrs, (been with him 20 1/2), we have made it over humps in the road and I know my life without him would have a void that would take along time to fill. My two kids are what Ive lived for since their birth. Im the one that wakes up during the night to see whats wrong when they cry. Im the one that has to untangle their pjs when they puke in them. Im the one that stays home with them when they are too sick to go to school. Im not saying their are dads out there that wouldnt do all that, but in my case, he makes more so he goes to work, and has to have his sleep to be able to work. ( I dont want him frying himself at work due to lack of sleep!)

I dont know how else to explain it, if I even did. I think you love your spouse to the ends of the earth, yet when your kids come along, a stronger power comes over you towards them.

This is only my opinion, yours is just as valid!
handsome!
C

ps, I forgot to add, Happiness for me is the giggles of my kids playing with us, and not fighting!

 

[cheerful_deviant]

A good book and a hot chocolate.

 

[wornoutkeyboard]

Happiness is...


Laughing so hard your sides ache.

When my son, who at four sometimes seems more like a man than a boy, fall alseep in my lap with his football pillow and his blue blankie.

The taste of really good water. (Don't ask... I'm a water-phile)

Doing something I have never done before.

Reading a book that changes my life...even if it is only for a few hours.

Pineapple that has been grilled on the barbeque.

Fugi apples....just ripe enough but not too ripe.

Truly amazing coffee....usually french press...with enough cream and sugar to make it taste like desert.

Cold bedsheets on a hot, muggy night.

Getting so lost in a movie that I am surprised that it ends.

~WOK

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Happiness for me used to be the adoration of a variety of men.
Now, it's the adoration of one little four year old man.