Handsome and affectionate 45 Dom Daddy looking.

[IWantASluttyWife]

Hello everyone,

I’m looking for a new friend. A special and meaningful friendship that would hopefully develop into more over time.

I am a handsome and in shape 45 year old man in the Northeast and I’m looking for a sweet and in shape woman who likes praise. Age isn’t really important to me (18+ obviously.)

We can roleplay, but I’m not really only looking for new roleplay partners. I’m more interested in making some real and meaningful connections.

It’s kind of hard to bring up being a daddy Dom on a first date, so I thought I’d try going a different route.

I’d love to hear from you.

 

[AnnieLit]

Oh, you ABSOLUTELY can and should bring it up on the first date! If this is what she is looking for and you don't go there, there is a good chance that your first date will be also the last.

 

[HotWifeOC]

Hello everyone,

I’m looking for a new friend. A special and meaningful friendship that would hopefully develop into more over time.

I am a handsome and in shape 45 year old man in the Northeast and I’m looking for a sweet and in shape woman who likes praise. Age isn’t really important to me (18+ obviously.)

We can roleplay, but I’m not really only looking for new roleplay partners. I’m more interested in making some real and meaningful connections.

It’s kind of hard to bring up being a daddy Dom on a first date, so I thought I’d try going a different route.

I’d love to hear from you.

 

[untamedmind]

Oh, you ABSOLUTELY can and should bring it up on the first date! If this is what she is looking for and you don't go there, there is a good chance that your first date will be also the last.

i wish it was that easy for him, but i dont agree with you. in this day and age, i think most women would freak out, especially if he has no idea if they are into that. unfortunately, its really tough for guys dating now in "normal" circumstances, let alone adding this aspect in.

 

[AnnieLit]

i wish it was that easy for him, but i dont agree with you. in this day and age, i think most women would freak out, especially if he has no idea if they are into that. unfortunately, its really tough for guys dating now in "normal" circumstances, let alone adding this aspect in.

If he has no idea if they are into this or not, but it is something important to him, shouldn't he find out rather sooner than later? I mean, if I am looking for a D/s relationship, why would I want to waste my time and energy on someone who is not into it?

 

[SteelPoint]

Oh, you ABSOLUTELY can and should bring it up on the first date! If this is what she is looking for and you don't go there, there is a good chance that your first date will be also the last.

So you attach no credit to the thought that introducing some subjects is best done in a gradualistic way. With you it would have to be wham, bang...

I think the point here is that sometimes people actually often aren't fully aware of their own desires - and/or certainly wouldn't confess to them in an immediate and abrupt fashion.

 

[untamedmind]

If he has no idea if they are into this or not, but it is something important to him, shouldn't he find out rather sooner than later? I mean, if I am looking for a D/s relationship, why would I want to waste my time and energy on someone who is not into it?

because i believe he is referencing a normal vanilla dating world. he could possibly luck out in a very rare chance, but i think most women in vanilla lives would take this as creepy and possibly even aggressive. why make the first date weird or awkward? ive heard dating is pretty tough right now, especially for men.

now if i was on a first date and someone said that, sure, I'm definitely more interested. But thats not going to happen with most and could cause an issue.

 

[AnnieLit]

because i believe he is referencing a normal vanilla dating world. he could possibly luck out in a very rare chance, but i think most women in vanilla lives would take this as creepy and possibly even aggressive. why make the first date weird or awkward? ive heard dating is pretty tough right now, especially for men.

now if i was on a first date and someone said that, sure, I'm definitely more interested. But thats not going to happen with most and could cause an issue.

You are missing a point of what I am saying. If he is ok with a vanilla partner - sure, no need to rush the subject. But if he not interested in a vanilla relationship, then why drag it on? A woman that will think that he is a creep if he brings it up on the first date, will think the same if he brings it up on the 15th. Why waste so much of hers and your own time?

 

[AnnieLit]

I think the point here is that sometimes people actually often aren't fully aware of their own desires - and/or certainly wouldn't confess to them in an immediate and abrupt fashion.

At 20 sure, they might not be aware. But assuming that he is dating women of more or less his age, let's say 35+, yes, they are aware of what they want and don't want.

 

[AnnieLit]

So you attach no credit to the thought that introducing some subjects is best done in a gradualistic way. With you it would have to be wham, bang...

With me THIS particular topic better be introduced right away, yes. I don't think I am that much of an anomaly in knowing what I want out of a relationship. At 18 I had no idea, at 25 probably too, though by then there were a few things that I liked (or would have liked to try) that didn't quite fit the vanilla world. By 40 I was 100% sure. And if I don't see any indications that I might get that, sorry, but that's it. I am old enough to know not to try to change people.

 

[SteelPoint]

With me THIS particular topic better be introduced right away, yes. I don't think I am that much of an anomaly in knowing what I want out of a relationship. At 18 I had no idea, at 25 probably too, though by then there were a few things that I liked (or would have liked to try) that didn't quite fit the vanilla world. By 40 I was 100% sure. And if I don't see any indications that I might get that, sorry, but that's it. I am old enough to know not to try to change people.

Then you might be among that tranche of people who tend to form instant judgements of others, not making the slightest allowance for the possibility of wrong takes, hidden attributes and false impressions.

The push button world has a lot to answer for.

And people do change...

... and can sometimes be changed by others...

 

[AnnieLit]

... and can sometimes be changed by others...

There is a huge difference between can be changed by others and going into a relationship planning to change someone from the start. It's basically saying "I don't care if you like/want/accept xyz now because eventually I will make you do it anyway." Can't speak for everyone, but to me this is a as big of a red flag as it gets. Either you accept me the way I am or you don't. Yes, people change over time, both physically and emotionally, but don't count on this change to happen the way you want it to go.

 

[AnnieLit]

ive heard dating is pretty tough right now, especially for men.

I was going to give an example of another topic that should be introduced very early on, especially if we are talking about 35+ crowd - having kids. If one side is looking to start a family and another one doesn't want to have any kids now or later, there is absolutely no point in continuing with the relationship. Right? Just respect their choice and move on.

But before I had a chance put it here I came upon a long discussion in a local FB group. All names are blacked out, it's a large females only group.in one of the major US cities.
Was the guy a bit over the top? Sure. The same thing could have been said differently. But does he needs to keep it polite for the sake of landing a date with any of these ladies? I doubt that it would have worked any better in person even if he polished his original statement.

The cut off comment at the very bottom of the last screenshot is mine, the full version was "I think they are all up in arms about *how* he said it. It's ok to want kids, but one doesn't have to put everyone that doesn't down in the same sentence."

 

[SteelPoint]

Yes, people change over time, both physically and emotionally, but don't count on this change to happen the way you want it to go.

Who mentioned 'counting on' anything??

Sometimes you go with your gut instinct and hope for the best. That's the way humans are. As a general rule, they do indeed take risks, even if very occasionally.

I'm talking here about the vast majority.

There are, of course, exceptions to any rule - you know: in this specific case, people of fixed mindsets who will tolerate not even the slightest aberration from their preconceived mental construct...

 

[Filthy_Bunny]

So you attach no credit to the thought that introducing some subjects is best done in a gradualistic way. With you it would have to be wham, bang...

I think the point here is that sometimes people actually often aren't fully aware of their own desires - and/or certainly wouldn't confess to them in an immediate and abrupt fashion.

Yes. Why would you want to waste your time on someone you aren't compatible with? Communicate what you're looking for clearly up front. If they aren't looking for the same thing, you aren't compatible & it isn't going to work anyway.

 

[untamedmind]

All I'm trying to say I know a lot of women who are vanilla. they would get creeped out if this was said to them on a first date...guaranteed. they wouldnt want anything getting too sexual on a first date. could they be gradually introduced to it once things turn intimate? probably. especially if the man picks up on cues (like if they seem to have a submissive personality).