Handling kids and pets

[Remec]

so...I've had to deal with pets running away...being smooshed by cars...or having to be given up for various reasons...but these have always been either me dealing with it on my own and/or animals with limited attachment to me and the family to begin with. But this...

Five minutes ago, my wife left for the vet's office with our dog. It's really her dog, he's 12 years old...she got him back when she was pregnant with her first child as additional security and stuff 'cause her first husband was on sea duty.

Maybe three minutes before that, my stepson (the aforementioned first born) was taking out food to give the dog and discovered the dog was just lying in the middle of his run...in the mud and what claims to be a grassy patch...in the light rain that has been falling most of the day...breathing shallowly with the occasional feeble bark mixed in...<sigh>

Now he's (the stepson) is all puffyeyed and fearful that the dog is sick or dying because he hasn't always been the most conscientious about taking care of Cherokee (a lovely mix of chow and some sort of collie) and I'm just wondering how I'm going to handle dealing with the boy.

Or how I'm going to deal with the urge to cry myself...

 

[TheEarl]

I'm sorry. No advice here Remec; my dog died recently and I still have no idea how to deal with it. Just a load of support and an ear should you want it.

On the bright side, my cat has been proclaimed nearly dead by the vet 15 times and is still very much alive and misanthropic. We can hope for you.

The Earl

 

[English Lady]

*hugs* Just do what feels right, don't worry about showing emotion it'll just let him know it's ok to show emotion over this kind of thing It's not easy....you and yoursare in my prayers.

 

[Guest]

im so sorry, love.
i hope things will go easily enough, though that's a contradiction of the worst sort. you and your family/dog are in my thoughts...

im in process of getting another godiva box ready for the next hamster-side...its coming soon. we've got it down to a science but its not the same as a dog ...AT ALL.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I spent some time working at an animal shelter that also handled euthanasia, so I saw a lot of this. I once held an 18-year-old cat in kidney failure as it was put to sleep. I can tell you that it's peaceful, and that I've never seen a pet that seemed distressed about death. They don't understand it as we do, and so, rather movingly, they have no fear of it. They take it better than any human I've ever met. They are their wonderful selves to the very end.

It's more difficult for us. We live on and know and remember them. Oddly, the thing that comforted me - or at least the thing that inevitably came to mind when I was working there - was Oscar Wilde. In "De Profundis," he says - if you can excuse the poor paraphrase - that sentimental people want all of the pleasure of a really great emotion without paying for it, and that the measure of all real things is that they must be paid for. Whenever I saw someone grieved at the loss of a beloved pet, I remembered these words; only those who really pay at the end ever really loved. Whatever the grief, it was the measure of the affection between them. That saw me through some difficult moments.

Shanglan

 

[Kyle Beguiled]

Let it out, Remec. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried like a baby when my cat died. My dad had tears in his eyes too.

Sorry for your family's pain.

 

[Guest]

 

[Remec]

Thanks everyone. I found out a little after posting the initial thread that what had happened was they couldn't get a diagnosis right away because Cherokee had seemed to be in shock. If he responded to treatment for that, there was a chance that he could possibly handle whatever else was going on, but during that he went into seizures and the vet said it was prolly a sign of a brain tumor or similar condition. So my wife had him put down.

 

[Guest]

Thanks everyone. I found out a little after posting the initial thread that what had happened was they couldn't get a diagnosis right away because Cherokee had seemed to be in shock. If he responded to treatment for that, there was a chance that he could possibly handle whatever else was going on, but during that he went into seizures and the vet said it was prolly a sign of a brain tumor or similar condition. So my wife had him put down.

 

[minsue]

Ah, Remec, I'm so sorry. Keeping you and yours in my thoughts.

 

[Guest]

Maybe your stepson can find some comfort in knowing this wasn't because of anything he did or didn't do.

Blessings to your family.

 

[Samandiriel]

Very sorry to hear that Remec.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

Under My Erotic Tail I have a tale 20 chapters long about my black Lab 'numchucks' that I had for 15 years...

I can only offer an ice cube to soothe the bodies sunburn amigo~
The memories you'll hold like a treasure of a legacy no body can feel but you! Rather we believe in religion or not the ritual of burial and childrens participations offers the releif of a better place they still play! The knife in the soul pain of loss is the yin that rests low in love.

bows humble my samurai friend~
can only offer my thoughts which are less than the wind~

one more thing~
when somber is at it's lowest direct a young mind by painting the pictures of the humorous days they recall, the funny things that had happened to ease the pain, laughter is a good thing, young minds mold so simply, dealing with life and situations is a parents hardest job~

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I spent some time working at an animal shelter that also handled euthanasia, so I saw a lot of this. I once held an 18-year-old cat in kidney failure as it was put to sleep. I can tell you that it's peaceful, and that I've never seen a pet that seemed distressed about death. They don't understand it as we do, and so, rather movingly, they have no fear of it. They take it better than any human I've ever met. They are their wonderful selves to the very end.

It's more difficult for us. We live on and know and remember them. Oddly, the thing that comforted me - or at least the thing that inevitably came to mind when I was working there - was Oscar Wilde. In "De Profundis," he says - if you can excuse the poor paraphrase - that sentimental people want all of the pleasure of a really great emotion without paying for it, and that the measure of all real things is that they must be paid for. Whenever I saw someone grieved at the loss of a beloved pet, I remembered these words; only those who really pay at the end ever really loved. Whatever the grief, it was the measure of the affection between them. That saw me through some difficult moments.

Shanglan

Amen.

Last december 6th we had to take our cat Katy to be put to sleep. She was 20 years old, and the vet told us she was already dying as she gave her the injection.

The only consolation for me is that animals don't know about death, and to them it's just sleep. But I still catch her out of the corner of my eye strolling around the house, even though we have her ashes out on the back porch, right by her favorite window.

 

[BlackShanglan]

My sympathies, Remec, to you and yours.

 

[Saucyminx]

So sorry dear. We've lost 3 cats (all 16 years old) in the last year. My brother-in-law is our vet so I held each one myself as he put them to sleep. It was quick and painless, and they didn't seem to mind. My 7 year old was despondent after each one, as were we all. No real advice except plenty of hugs for your whole family.

 

[wishfulthinking]

My parents planted a special tree where our dog was buried. Maybe you could also get him a plaster craft kit and see if he wants to make a small headstone. Although he might think this is a bit girlish.

 

[AppleBiter]

Pets are a member of the family and dealing with their death is hard. My goes out to you and yours. Deepest sympathy.

 

[English Lady]

*hugging you tight*

Ahh I'm sorry to hear that Remec,give yourself time to grieve love,a pet is a member of the family.

My cat,well the cat who adopted me and my family, Charlie died not long after we'd met him. It broke my heart..the good people here on the AH showed me it was OK to be so upset and supported me through it all.

I'm here if you need me ok?

 

[TheEarl]

<Manly hug> (no more than 4 seconds with three slaps on the back)

I know how much this sucks and my thoughts are with you.

The Earl