Hamletsmaschine...

[lavender]

 

[Guest]

 

[alexandraaah]

*innoncently*

Moi?

Mistress Lavy would never allow me to do that.

just pm'd her, it's all good.

 

[Guest]

 

[lavender]

 

[alexandraaah]

Then I guess I'm free to be *all* bad

great, maybe we can have a lesbian orgy with you, me and hamletmaschine.

if we want a guy in the mix, maybe lavender will join us?

 

[Hamletmaschine]

*ahem*

 

[lavender]

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I will gladly donate my cock to this exquisite 3some you have arranged.

3 + 1 = 4

 

[Laurel]

It's not really a poem. Meryn Cadell is kind of a comedic performer. All these lyrics are set to music as she speaks the lyrics. It's quite entertaining. I used to listen to them and laugh my ass off in high school.

She rules! I discovered her during my college radio stint. She does a Sweater song, too:

Girls,
I know you will understand this
and feel the intrinsic incredible emotion
You have just pulled over your head the worn,
warm sweater belonging to a boy.
Now you haven't had a passionate kissing session or anything,
but you got to go on a camping trip with him,
and eight other people from school,
And you practically slept together,
your sleeping bag right next to his.

And you woke in the night to watch him as he slept,
but you couldn't see anything 'cause it was dark,
so you just laid there and listened to his breathing,
and wondered if your heart might burst.

The sweater has that faintly goat-like smell,
which all teenage boys possess,
and that smell will lovingly transfer,
to all your other clothes.

If you get to keep it for a few days you can sleep with it,
but don't let your mom see, 'cause she'll say,
"what is that filthy thing, and who does it belong to
besides the trash man?"

So you have to keep it under the covers with you,
You can kind of lie it beside you,
or wrap it around your waist,
or touch it on your legs, or whatever
That's your business.

Now if the sweater has, like, reindeer on it
or is a funny color like yellow... I'm sorry,
you can't get away with a sweater like that,
Look for brown, or grey, or blue
Anything other than that, and you know you're dealing with
someone who's different.

And different is NOT what you're looking for,
You're looking for those teenage Alpine ski-chiseled features
and that sort of blank look which passes for deep thought
or at least the notion that someone's home
You're looking for the boy of your dreams
who is the same boy in the dreams of all your friends.

Now the sweater is not going to fit you of course
You have to kind of roll up the sleeves in a jaunty way
That says this is the sweater belonging to a boy
and the boy is a genuine hunka hunka burning love
and this is not just a hand-me-down from you brother or father.

Monday, wear the sweater to school
Be calm, look cute
Don't tell him about the dream you had
about the place the two of you would share when you get older
Just be yourself
The best, cutest, quietest version of yourself
Definitely wear lip gloss

He looks at you, and then he looks away
And then he walks away
and the smell of the sweater hits you again suddenly
like ape-scent gloriola
and you get a note passed to you
by a girl in History that says
"He needs that sweater back.
He forgot you put it on in the tent on Saturday
and he's been looking for it."

And you don't have to die of humiliation, you know
You are a strong person and this is a learning experience
You can still hold your head up high as you run from the classroom
tearing the stinking sweater from your body
You look at that sweater, carefully,
and you realize that love made you temporarily blind
You've got a secret now, honey,
and though you'd never sink as low as him,
you could blab it all over the school if you wanted

The label in that sweater
said "100% Acrylic

 

[lavender]

 

[alexandraaah]

3 + 1 = 4

quit wooing me with your brilliance.

anyways, what does math have to do with anything?

i just want a fucking orgy with the beautiful people.

 

[alexandraaah]

quit wooing me with your brilliance.

anyways, what does math have to do with anything?

i just want a fucking orgy with the beautiful people.

Hold the phone. Before I commit to my aforementioned statement...that is you all in your av's, right?

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Hold the phone. Before I commit to my aforementioned statement...that is you all in your av's, right?

Looking guardedly at Laurel's av

I don't do animals, so I hope not.

 

[Guest]

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Can I just ask how this thead, which Alex kindly devoted to me, turned into Lavy's 'scary women of lit' thread?

Could we start over or something?

Hi, everyone! How was your day? Mine was just fine, thanks.

Wanna fuck?

 

[lavender]

 

[Guest]

 

[lavender]

 

[alexandraaah]

Speak for yourself Foxy. I'm not about the charm and the seduction. I'm just in it for a good hard long lasting fuck. It's all about the "O" with me. Wooing is bullshit.

but s/he does math.

it's fuckin' hot.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Speak for yourself Foxy. I'm not about the charm and the seduction. I'm just in it for a good hard long lasting fuck. It's all about the "O" with me. Wooing is bullshit.

Woooo-woooooo! Train's coming thru the pass and it's heading for the tunnel!

 

[Guest]

 

[alexandraaah]

Hamletmaschine...

is that you in your av, baby?

Damn, you should post in the amateur pics forum.

 

[lavender]

 

[alexandraaah]

I'd rather see the old avatar posting in the amateur pics forum.

If looks could kill, that jawline would be an AK47.

I agree completely. And that is a serious statement.

That Olivier av is delicious.