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Halloween on High Heels

Aurora Black

Aurora Black

Professional Dreamer
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I thought this was interesting.

Allison Glock The New York Times
Published: October 20, 2006


NORTH CHATHAM, New York

All I wanted was a pair of mouse ears. It is Halloween season, and to the delight of my children, I promised to dress up as the country mouse. As a recent transplant to rural life, it made sense. Besides, I already owned the overalls and the flannel shirt. I just needed the ears. And maybe a wedge of plastic cheese.

So my girls, 4 and 6, and I went to the discount department store Target, which has much better lighting than Wal-Mart - and Isaac Mizrahi. It wasn't long before I discovered that the only ears on offer at the Target Festival of Fright were of the "sexy cat" variety. Sexy cat is fine if you are in your 20s, unimaginative and trying to persuade people that you possess latent feline qualities. As I am neither latent nor in my 20s, I continued down the Adult Costume aisle.

I walked past the displays for the sexy devil and the sexy bunny and the sexy leopard - which, confounding logic, was already sold out - before happening upon the wall of full adult costumes. The first was Tavern Lady, an off-the-shoulder dress and faux- leather vest. It was followed by French Maid (ruffled mini-dress with matching headpiece), Cheerleader (pleated micro-mini and fitted vest) and Wonder Woman, which had not only a nearly invisible skirt but also red vinyl boot covers that reached to the thigh.

At $49.99, Wonder Woman was among the priciest costumes, along with the Geisha - both $20 more than Stewardess, which consisted only of a polyester wrap dress with a plunging neckline.

A quick trip to Wal-Mart and Kmart, another discount store, revealed the same dubious selections. While the hemlines were slightly lower on the Kmart French Maid and Cheerleader, Wal-Mart hewed to form with a saucy Red Riding Hood and a naughty rag doll, advertising a "sultry vinyl bodice and thigh-highs - lollipop not included."

A theme was emerging. And it wasn't Halloween. Since when did Halloween costumes become marital aids? The hobo has turned into the Hillbilly Honey. The traditional vampire is now the Mistress of Darkness. I have nothing against playing erotic dress-up, or even mass-market fetishism. I'd just prefer it didn't converge with a family holiday (and wasn't sold next to the dryer sheets). If you want to play cheerleader at home - go team. But trick-or-treating with your children in anything featuring latex and cleavage seems like a little too much trick.

And really, wasn't Halloween the one day modern women could relax about looking hot? What if I just want to be a mummy sans yummy?

I noticed that on the outside of every package was a photo of a woman modeling not only the costume, but teetering heels and bras of the push-up variety. The First Lady costume was not, as one might expect, a red business suit, but a pink crepe mini-dress. At least it had the matching pillbox hat. The angel was dubbed "heaven's hottie." Even the witch had a slit up her tattered skirt.

My girls were confused. "Where are the monsters?" they asked.

"Where are the superheroes?" I pointed weakly to Wonder Woman and her thigh-high boots. "She's pretty," said my 4-year-old. Before adding, "You can see her breasts."

As I watched them scan the selections, soaking in the unspoken message, I remembered my freshman year in college, going to a Halloween party dressed as a pumpkin. My face was painted orange. My torso was covered in fabric stuffed into a wide, round orb. It was not seductive. And it hadn't occurred to me that it should be. There were no adult pumpkin costumes in the stores this year. No vegetable costumes of any sort.

We moved along the aisle. I casually searched for the male equivalent of the Stewardess. Perhaps a Hot Fireman costume? Or maybe Handyman? But there was no Pool Boy. No Sexy CEO. There were, in fact, very few men's costumes at all. A gorilla. A generic monster. A handful of serial killers.

We gave up on the mouse ears. Walking back, I noticed in the middle of the boas, 6-inch heels and fishnets hung a Nun costume. It was a floor-length robe with modified wimple. Unlike the other ensembles, which offered bust and hip measurements, it was one size fits most.

The price: a modest $9.99. According to the Target Web site, it is a best seller. Probably among men.

Allison Glock is the author of "Beauty Before Comfort" and the forthcoming "What's in It for Me? The Myth of the Happy Wife."
Click to expand...

It's been several years since I've been able (or even wanted) to go costume shopping, but is it really all about sex these days?
 
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I dunnow... I only ever had one Halloween outfit, which was a white sheet with holes for the eyes and one for the mouth, which I cut as a teenager so that I could smoke as I was going trick or treating.
 
Very, very sad. Hellmart also sells micro-minis in 2-6X.

*sigh*

The local thrift stores where I live make a big deal out of halloween and offer much much more in teh way of costumes, ideas, and they even have classes!

Me and my boy have always made our costumes. Last year he was a radioactive zombie, I was the Hunchback of the Disco - the most fun I've ever had with glow-in the dark products. Cheap, cheap, cheap - I think I spent 20 bucks at the drugstore and another 10 at the hardware store.
 
I don't know if that's what it's all about. I made my own costumes out of things that I could manipulate from home (I was a crafty child).
 
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babygrrl_702 said:
Very, very sad. Hellmart also sells micro-minis in 2-6X.

*sigh*

The local thrift stores where I live make a big deal out of halloween and offer much much more in teh way of costumes, ideas, and they even have classes!

Me and my boy have always made our costumes. Last year he was a radioactive zombie, I was the Hunchback of the Disco - the most fun I've ever had with glow-in the dark products. Cheap, cheap, cheap - I think I spent 20 bucks at the drugstore and another 10 at the hardware store.
Click to expand...

I believe that making your own costume is more satisfying than just grabbing it off the rack, but people are busy and they're more convienient and widespread. Throwing together a costume from pre-existing clothes is okay in my book. When I was a child, my mother used dress patterns from the fabric store to make all of my Halloween costumes, and I plan to do the same when I have kids.

Even if it is for freaking Carnival instead of Halloween... *grumbles* :)
 
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TheeGoatPig said:
Aurora, your quote is doubled up.

I don't know if that's what it's all about. I made my own costumes out of things that I could manipulate from home (I was a crafty child).
Click to expand...

Thanks for catching that, Thee. My eyes are tired.
 
This sounds like an article I read in Jane about the "Sexing Up" of female Halloween Costumes. Every happy little fairy tale princess now has her skany equivalent. -shrugs- sex sells. Thats what Victoria's Secret is. It sells and sells and sells.

I dressed up as Boo from MONSTERS INC two years ago. Had purple leggings a pink tee shirt and little short stick up pigtails. Was alot of fun-kids got a kick out of it when I came to the door that way. I was Lady Justice another year. That was a great costume and I got to carry a sword gaahahahaha.

You can't escape the sex. I live in NY. If I don't see at least two hoochie mama Red Riding Hoods, Goldicks with "Mr. Just Right-all Night" and Alice taking Wonderland to a whole new level, it doesn't quite feel like Halloween.
 
In Atlanta, the trend for adults at Halloween is to forgo the traditional 'take the kids for trick or treating'. The move is toward adult parties, hence the sexy adult costumes. Not the young moms and dads, the singles, and those with older children.

Very few kids go out anymore, because churches and other kid friendly places, like malls, sponsor activities for them to keep them off the streets.
 
Sad, but true.

On the flip side, I've never felt the need to dress up as something gruesome and bloody. I'd rather do "cute" or funny. This year I think I'll go as a horse's ass: I found the perfect George Bush mask...
 
McKenna said:
Sad, but true.

On the flip side, I've never felt the need to dress up as something gruesome and bloody. I'd rather do "cute" or funny. This year I think I'll go as a horse's ass: I found the perfect George Bush mask...
Click to expand...

Pictures? Please? :D
 
McKenna said:
Sad, but true.

On the flip side, I've never felt the need to dress up as something gruesome and bloody. I'd rather do "cute" or funny. This year I think I'll go as a horse's ass: I found the perfect George Bush mask...
Click to expand...
I'm thinking gruesome for a change this year.

Also - I do an outdoor kind of thing for the kids in my 'hood- play music, etc.

Anyone know of a showy magic trick that's easy and can be done repeatedly?
 
Women have only one Halloween Costume. It is a slut. You may be thinking, Wait, I've seen women dressed as sexy witches, sexy cats, sexy hoboes.... But I assure you they were all dressed as sluts dressed as witches, cats, and hoboes. For us, Halloween is solely an opportunity to wear the whorish clothes we chastise true-blue sluts for wearing year-round.

--Stephanie Weir, "Ten Things You Don't Know About Women," Esquire, 10/02/02
 
Aurora Black said:
It's been several years since I've been able (or even wanted) to go costume shopping, but is it really all about sex these days?
Click to expand...

At the stores mentioned in the article, it's more about "Sales" than "Sex" -- although it's sometimes very difficult to tell the difference. If those kinds of costumes didn't sell, they wouldn't dominate the selection.

Even if you went to a specialty costume store, you'd find that "Sex" and "Sales" are nearly synonymous -- although you'll find more black velvet "French Maid" costumes instead of cheap plastic.

A Costume Rental store would have a better selection of costumes for 'real people' because they don't deal in just halloween costumes -- and they're likely to have a reasonable selection of mouse costumes for amateur productions of The Nutcracker and other mouse themed productions.
 
What the hey? I tend to look on the bright side. Use to be that all Witches were protrayed as green and wearing black (ignore the AV behind the curtain, please!).

Now they're sexy. Hooray! I'd rather the message be that magical females are dominatrixes to be obeyed, rather than monsters to burn at the stake.
 
Usually for me it's been all about sex...but I've seriously been considering going as a character from Rent or Wicked. If people want to know they're going to have to ask. Probably the assumption will be that I'm going "80's" or as a "witch".

Last year I dressed as a drunken flapper. I threw together clothes I already had, including a red flapper dress from the girls' toybox. Black fishnet stockings, pushed down and askew, black boots, and a stumble. There you have it. Priceless. Literally.

This year? I might scrounge Goodwill if I can afford it. If not? I won't be going out this year anyway, so I really don't give a flying fuck if I dress up or not.
 
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