Haiku

[AlinaX]

here's my review thread
summarise your story thus
and I will critique

 

[AlinaX]

here's my review thread
summarise your story thus
and I will critique

Dear AlinaX
five seven five may be cute
but it ain't haiku

 

[Voboy]

here's my review thread
summarise your story thus
and I will critique

I'm game.

Trembling teacher warned:
Obsessed. Careful, and careless.
Fallen willingly.

 

[Bamagan]

here's my review thread
summarise your story thus
and I will critique

Fetish smorgasbord
Lesbian incest for three,
Milk, fur, flesh, and pets

 

[AlinaX]

I'm game.

Trembling teacher warned:
Obsessed. Careful, and careless.
Fallen willingly.

such a shivering
these words awaken in me!
I'm marked with red ink

 

[Voboy]

such a shivering
these words awaken in me!
I'm marked with red ink

Expectations high!
Semicolons fluttering
Alongside shivers.

 

[AlinaX]

Fetish smorgasbord
Lesbian incest for three,
Milk, fur, flesh, and pets

scissoring sisters?
collars and chips all around
and summon the vet!

 

[vagrantx]

snowflakes millionfold
old aches, body shakes, behold
it's so fucking cold!

 

[AlinaX]

Expectations high!
Semicolons fluttering
Alongside shivers.

sweet punctuation...
semicolons get me wet
(I freeze in winter)

 

[Voboy]

Chapped, the lips. The nose:
Snot cannot stream once frozen.
Chill reminds of warmth.

 

[Voboy]

sweet punctuation...
semicolons get me wet
(I freeze in winter)

Symbolic? Pussy:
The curving furrow below,
Then nub at the top.

 

[AlinaX]

how brittle the air
as if a harsh word spoken
could shatter the world

 

[AlinaX]

Symbolic? Pussy:
The curving furrow below,
Then nub at the top.

(I was editing for someone last week who used 'furrow'. "I've not seen that before," I said, and was assured it was common. "I bet I see it everywhere now," I said.)

 

[Voboy]

(I was editing for someone last week who used 'furrow'. "I've not seen that before," I said, and was assured it was common. "I bet I see it everywhere now," I said.)

I NEVER use it when discussing genitals. It seems cheesy to me, like "manhood" or "flower." But here?

Two syllables is two syllables, yo.

 

[Voboy]

Unwelcome image:
Dildo, semicolon-shaped,
"Punctuating" it.

 

[Bamagan]

Unwelcome image:
Dildo, semicolon-shaped,
"Punctuating" it.

Exclamation point!
I guess the question mark curves
to hit the G-spot?

 

[vagrantx]

(I was editing for someone last week who used 'furrow'. "I've not seen that before," I said, and was assured it was common. "I bet I see it everywhere now," I said.)

the phenomena
semantic satiation;
words lose their meaning

(i feel you. i read a lot of Joe Abercrombie and his overuse of floundering drives me up the fucking wall. heard him use it first, now its in like every 10 sentences of his)

 

[Voboy]

Exclamation point!
I guess the question mark curves
to hit the G-spot?

Who can say? Who knows?
Myriad shapes exist. Why?
I won't speculum.

 

[vagrantx]

speculum.

an appointment made
dreadful meeting upcoming.
a reminder. "thanks".

 

[Candy_Kane54]

I was wondering
How I can entice my Muse
To come back to me.

 

[Candy_Kane54]

Ever since I learned
My cancer is leaving, I
Can't find the right words.

Maybe not being
On death's door has taken my
Urge to write away?

 

[Bamagan]

Ever since I learned
My cancer is leaving, I
Can't find the right words.

Maybe not being
On death's door has taken my
Urge to write away.

Darkly ironic
If your muse and your tumor
Were one and the same

 

[MargotPayge]

Words become harder
But it's comforting to know
I am not alone

 

[Voboy]

When dealing with words,
"Harder" is often better.
Because this is Lit!

 

[vagrantx]

a dancing dancer's
twirling, whirling dance is seen
swirling in between

a girl in sterling
earrings, flirting with a teen
sounds of mirth serene

i think i twisted a braincell, help