Haiku Extension Challenge

[wildsweetone]

Back in the early days of the Poetry Forum (2002), TheDR4KE came up with an exercise challenge to write Haiku. He explained the basics in general.

After the Haiku were written, a follow up challenge arrived and I thought it an interesting idea to try now.


Haiku pruning
Haiku growing


so, the challenge:

Write a Haiku in the form as you know it to be, and then extend the Haiku into a longer poem. Show both the Haiku and extended poem here.

 

[AChild]

OK OK HERE"S THE HAIKU

Torso cabinet
open nude she cut and ate strings
cogs beat reliant

 

[wildsweetone]

Torso cabinet
open nude she cut and ate strings
cogs beat reliant

it's going to be interesting seeing the long version. good luck.

 

[bluerains]

blue heron, blue sky
stained glass window in my mind
cloaks unsleeping eyes

 

[My Erotic Trail]

(the Haiku)

Yesterday's thoughts~

a tree limb lay
like thoughts fallen yesterday
covered in leaves


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Okay, now what? Add to it and post the final poem here? Due?)

 

[wildsweetone]

cool bananas.

yep, add to it and post it here so i can see what you do.

you can always submit it to Litland as well.

and no, there is no deadline. it's just a fun thing.



i'll write one soon - sorry busy weekend here.

 

[bluerains]

blue heron, blue sky
stained glass window in my mind
cloaks unsleeping eyes

sun sculpted unicorn glow
seeps through foundations chamber
clouds blow away ghosts

drama set adrift
crumbling in footlight stage
cosmic comic grins

 

[wildsweetone]

.
.
.

white grass
high in the sun -
the ducks fly
.
.
.

 

[champagne1982]

Haiku

April Rain Haiku

the dregs of winter

settled mud on the dun lawn

washed away in rain​

 

[champagne1982]

Haiku growing

April Rain

The dregs of winter,
in the old man's mug
foam lingers on
gray whiskers.

Frost burrows deeper
beneath snow's leavings
settled mud lies, lazy
on the dun lawn.

At last the barmaid
removes his cup to wash
a season's worth of muck
away in rain.

 

[champagne1982]

Haiku pruning

April

winter
melt
in rain​

 

[champagne1982]

Thanks WSO. This was fun. I enjoyed the growing and the pruning better than I did the planting .

This is a worthy exercise folks. Don't be deterred by the form Haiku. I, personally, can't wrap myself around the zenity of haiku but I think the sparse language used in them makes us concentrate our imagery, like Old South does our orange juice.

 

[wildsweetone]

okay this is off the cuff or i think i might never have the courage to complete it...


Original Haiku:

white grass
high in the sun -
the ducks fly

extension:

On a cloudless day
where the sky stretches
like drying canvas
from horizon to horizon
stiffened to hold the weight
of flying ducks,
the sun in its autumn wrap
and long stems of white grass
trick the eye into ignoring
and the mind into believing
that the winter's casket
will not arrive.


pruning:

cloudless day
long stemmed grass -
a frozen season



wow


hmm pruning more:

sunshine
grass
frozen


cloudless
grass
frost


good grief what a great exercise!

 

[wildsweetone]

Thanks WSO. This was fun. I enjoyed the growing and the pruning better than I did the planting .

This is a worthy exercise folks. Don't be deterred by the form Haiku. I, personally, can't wrap myself around the zenity of haiku but I think the sparse language used in them makes us concentrate our imagery, like Old South does our orange juice.

i don't know about your orange juice, but boy i agree with the 'worthy exercise' comment. it really gave me food for thought.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

(the Haiku)

Yesterday's thoughts~

a tree limb lay
like thoughts fallen
yesterday

Some tree limbs still rise,
and thrive in the sun.
Thoughts that still live,
till they lay like a limb.

 

[TheDR4KE]

haiku


stumbling on
old name carved in wood -
growing new shoots






Villanelle

In late night wanderings through the woods,
I found a carving of my name -
Old wounds will one day grow new shoots.

Remembrances of woulds and coulds
leading me back to an old flame -
In late night wanderings through the woods.

I'd kept away for shan'ts and shoulds,
with only my own fears to blame -
Old wounds will one day grow new shoots.

Braving familiar neighbourhoods
to see again just what became.
In late night wanderings through the woods
Old wounds will one day grow new shoots.




pruned


exploring
old wounds -
rebirth





Thank you for this trip.

Quack

the D

 

[Remec]

so, the challenge:

Write a Haiku in the form as you know it to be, and then extend the Haiku into a longer poem. Show both the Haiku and extended poem here.

gasping in
nonexistent breaths
~exhausted

 

[Remec]

gasping in
nonexistent breaths
~exhausted

Music echoes within
their pulsing limbs as
the dance goes on,
face to back, knees
on rug, while backs
arch leaving them
gasping in
nonexistent breaths
~exhausted.

 

[wildsweetone]

Some tree limbs still rise,
and thrive in the sun.
Thoughts that still live,
till they lay like a limb.

fancy trying the third part? try pruning it back, to the least amount of words you can achieve (not necessarily a haiku).

 

[wildsweetone]

haiku


stumbling on
old name carved in wood -
growing new shoots






Villanelle

In late night wanderings through the woods,
I found a carving of my name -
Old wounds will one day grow new shoots.

Remembrances of woulds and coulds
leading me back to an old flame -
In late night wanderings through the woods.

I'd kept away for shan'ts and shoulds,
with only my own fears to blame -
Old wounds will one day grow new shoots.

Braving familiar neighbourhoods
to see again just what became.
In late night wanderings through the woods
Old wounds will one day grow new shoots.




pruned


exploring
old wounds -
rebirth





Thank you for this trip.

Quack

the D

thank you! i am learning a lot by practising this challenge.

i enjoyed reading your answers to the challenge, this one is no exception. i hope you write more.

 

[wildsweetone]

Music echoes within
their pulsing limbs as
the dance goes on,
face to back, knees
on rug, while backs
arch leaving them
gasping in
nonexistent breaths
~exhausted.

so Remec, how would you prune this one right back?

 

[Remec]

so Remec, how would you prune this one right back?

Echoes
arch,
gasping.