Had a death today.

[SeaCat]

I found out today when I went in for a class that there was a death on my unit today. (This is not uncommon.) I am a bit angry at this death.

It should not have happened. It was avoidable.

The patient was a long time patient. She had been on our unit for almost a month. While not young she wasn't old by any stretch. (She was 56 years old.) She had a Hysterectomy followed by Chemo.

During this month I had her as a patient several times. The first was when she first came out of surgery.

I had her up as is standard. She was up in a recliner her first morning after the surgery. She was walking, albeit unwillingly, in the halls that afternoon. This is standard protocol on my unit. It is there for a reason.

She didn't care to be up, she didn't want to walk. She resisted while claiming that God would take care of her. I could care less, under my care she was up and about. She was released and went home, only to return the next day.

I pushed her, I caholed her, I got her moving. Unfortunately I wasn't the only one to take care of her. Other Aides and R.N.'s allowed her to stay in bed. They documented that she refused.

Her family prayed over her day and night, and yet they didn't push her. "God" would take care of her.

She died today of Pneumonia and a Blood Clot that formed in her leg and moved to her lung.

The hospital and staff are in the free and clear. She refused to get up and this was documented. The family argued that she didn't need to be up, and this was documented.

Both the Blood Clot and the Pneumonia could have been avoided. She could have lived but "God" took care of her.

Haven't these people ever heard the comment that "God" helps those who help themselves?

I'm pissed, I'm frustrated.

This was a woman who had much to live for, and now her life is cut short for no good reason.

Cat

 

[shereads]

Sweetie, I'm sorry. We're all lucky that people like you take this personally, but for your sake I wish it weren't so.

 

[rgraham666]

Jesus, Cat. *HUGS*

You're a better man than I. I wouldn't be able to handle your job in a million years.

More *HUGS*

 

[Guest]

i hated it when my patients passed...specially the ones who fought so hard and had so much to live for.
total empathy.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Sweetie, I'm sorry. We're all lucky that people like you take this personally, but for your sake I wish it weren't so.

Ditto. Thanks, Cat. You're a good man. I hope there are ones like you in the unit I end up in someday.

 

[scriptordelecto]

Seacat,

I don't suppose there's really anything I could say that would help. I don't think I can imagine the anger, frustration and helplessness you feel over such a senseless death. Just know that there are those of us who care.

Hugs

 

[cloudy]

You reinforce my belief that you're a good man every single day.

 

[SeaCat]

Many thanks to all who have replied.

It wouldn't have been so bad, it wouldn't have hurt so much, if it hadn't been avoidable.

Yes this person was a good person, and yes she did have cancer. All of it was removed.

It was her beliefs, supported by her family that "God" would protect her. That "God" would provide and heal her. She believed this so strongly, as did her family, that she would do nothing to help herself. Her Doctor, her R.N.'s and myself tolf her to get her butt out of bed. To move around. To help her body heal but she ignored this.

She didn't need to die. They had removed the cancer. She was on her way to healing and getting better but she decided that "God" would heal her. Her family backed her up in this. She did nothing to help herself. She lay in her bed and prayed. She lay in her bed and watched the Televangelists on TV.

Yet she claimed she had so much to live for. She pointed out the pictures of her Grandchildren and told me how she wanted to be there for them. She pointed out the cards her family sent her, as well as the cards her friends sent. She said she had so much to live for, and yet she did nothing to help herself.

I argued with her, I faught(sp) with her. I forced her to get up and move. I made her walk and care for herself. I spent hours looking through the Bible for quotes to get her moving.

She argued with me. Her family argued with me to the point of putting in a complaint against me.

Now she is dead.

Yes I can put her behind me, as I have done with so many others. Yet it raises so many questions within me. Her death was needless, she had many years before her. So why did she die? Why did she chose to die. (I can only think that she chose this.)

It make me stop and think.

Cat

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I wanted to post a real reply to this, but it ended up being my own self centered rant about religion. So I'm not posting that.

I'm sorry to hear about that SC. At least you did what you could when you could do it.

 

[yui]

Peace, Cat. Everyone walks their own walk and dies their own death; we can only make the journey better or worse. Know that you fought a good fight, don't let death take something from your life.

 

[Guest]

Bless you, Cat. You did all that was possible.

 

[Guest]

I wish I had some sort of coherent, meaningful answer for you. I don't. I don't even have it for myself.

When it comes to faith and medicine, I can tell you that I've seen both sides of it.

I've had children who absolutely shouldn't have lived, live. And, I'm talking about extreme circumstances: drownings, brain tumors, strokes, short gut. And, I can say that a commonality among them was a strong faith on the part of their families. Ironically enough, a faith that also said, if it's their time, we will let them go and not let them suffer.

On the other side of the coin, I've had children who should have been allowed to die, kept alive by machines for far, far too long, because of their parents' insistence that God would intervene. I have some horrific stories about these cases, but they are not for public consumption.

Maybe your patient was tired. Maybe she wanted to "go home" to God but couldn't say that out loud. Maybe she was truly ignorant to the idea that even God expects us to stand up and help in our circumstances. Maybe with the fear that the cancer brought, she had already let go somewhere inside despite the success of her treatment. There's no way to know that.

I've been angry with God. I've been angry with doctors. I've been angry with myself. It never helps. If anything, it makes it more difficult to cope with the next sick kid I need to take care of. And, there is always a next sick kid. Just like there will always be another battle with cancer on your front.

I have a strong, if not "religious," faith myself. (As do many of the doctors and nurses I work with.) I pray to "leave it at the door" when I leave the hospital. It's not 100% successful, but it helps. I also escape into my own life, I write, I cook (kinda, lol), I make love, I take care of my animals, I live. Just remember to do those things, too.

I'm not sure if that helped at all. (Sometimes I am inconsolable myself.) But, I hope it did.