Guys thoughts : Toys

[Minxgal86]

I couldn't for the life of me think of an appropriate title, but I need some feedback. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. Things have been a bit stressful over the last year whereas its putting a strain on our sex life. Most times he is either too tired from work or not in the mood (which I don't get - isn't every guy in the mood?!) My husband is 30 and I'm 28. I keep myself trimmed and clean so their should be no reason why sometimes he acts like its a chore to have sex.

Anyway, he is an overly sensitive drama queen at times, and makes me feel like a pretty mellow person. For the last several weeks when he is at work, and if I'm extremely frustrated, I will fuck myself with my hairbrush. I don't have any toys and have asked for one for Christmas, but it's unlikely I will get one.

The other night I forgot to clean my brush handle by the time he got home from work, and he put it all together. He said 'I'm cheating on him and it hurts his feelings.' I've talked with another buddy whom told me that my husband needs to get a grip and get me some toys.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Lol

 

[Minxgal86]

No one? Lol

 

[riverrunt]

sent a PM hope that was ok

 

[Jaime_H]

Every woman should have her toys. As I guy, I find it exciting to think of my SO playing when I'm not around. It's no secret that most guys indulge in extracurricular masturbation, especially when they are tired as a means of stress relief.

 

[Henryj09]

you should deff have your own toys! i can show you the ones i have gotten for my wife if you want. just pm me.

 

[Davesmith42]

Sorry, can say i dont have a similar situation but I think everyone should have toys.
my wife order me some online they are great...
definitely get yourself some if he doesn't don't think toys are cheating in any way shape or form

 

[Story_Daddy]

.......

 

[Minxgal86]

Its not even like the handle is comparable to a dick. I've been gone out of state to go to a family funeral for the past two days so we'll see.

 

[openminded1967]

I feel for you, but I love your sharing. Most guys know that their wife will play by herself at times, just like we guys do when the need arises, he needs to accept that fact. I personally would love to hear more of your solo play stories.

 

[Jaime_H]

It's why internet shopping thrives....

 

[suckonsimon]

Minxgal, 'nough said about the toys thing ...
The big one I guess is discerning what's at the root of his lack of interest.

Could it be a health / fitness / lifestyle / stress combination? And if so what actions are possible but it would be he that needed to choose them?
Within that range of possibilities might his libido have taken a plunge and he needs some help in acknowledging that and taking some of the actions which can address that successfully these days?

Might there just be some way in which an undercurrent of distance or even discontent in his heart and mind has developed, about your marriage? - in which case communication communication communication!

I'll leave the theme there as I acknowledge this is not the question you asked us. I wish you well with this, lady.

 

[massageguy1]

Lots of reasons why a guy would lose interest in even a clean, trimmed, sexy lady. But even if he can't get/maintain an erection, it's selfish and stupid to withhold. (I mean - he still has a mouth and hands, right?)

Parallel situation here with perimenopausal wife. Makes me lonely and sad, but I won't apologize for the lotion by my bed.

 

[Minxgal86]

Foreplay from him varies. I guess I've become lazy to not try to ask too much of him. He works all the time and I'm the stay at home mom. We still have sex about twice a week, but in only lasting about ten minutes. Communication...yeah I know. Lol I've gotten to the point where I tease myself all day that way I'm close to the brink or know that I've gotten mine. *sigh*

The last time we had sex and I didn't cum he said 'Well what's the point in having sex when you won't cum,' seriously guys...how did this boy come from the man I married!?

Last time I gave him a blow job I asked for 69 and he turned me down. There are many other variables there, but that's what I can at least explain right now. I'm on my phone so its a bit difficult to type.

 

[preacher72]

Foreplay from him varies. I guess I've become lazy to not try to ask too much of him. He works all the time and I'm the stay at home mom. We still have sex about twice a week, but in only lasting about ten minutes. Communication...yeah I know. Lol I've gotten to the point where I tease myself all day that way I'm close to the brink or know that I've gotten mine. *sigh*

The last time we had sex and I didn't cum he said 'Well what's the point in having sex when you won't cum,' seriously guys...how did this boy come from the man I married!?

Last time I gave him a blow job I asked for 69 and he turned me down. There are many other variables there, but that's what I can at least explain right now. I'm on my phone so its a bit difficult to type.

I bet if you just got the toy on your own
And let him catch you playing with it, would probably work out well. He'd probably get so turned on no guy can resist that

 

[ShrimpFriedRice]

Foreplay from him varies. I guess I've become lazy to not try to ask too much of him. He works all the time and I'm the stay at home mom. We still have sex about twice a week, but in only lasting about ten minutes. Communication...yeah I know. Lol I've gotten to the point where I tease myself all day that way I'm close to the brink or know that I've gotten mine. *sigh*

The last time we had sex and I didn't cum he said 'Well what's the point in having sex when you won't cum,' seriously guys...how did this boy come from the man I married!?

Last time I gave him a blow job I asked for 69 and he turned me down. There are many other variables there, but that's what I can at least explain right now. I'm on my phone so its a bit difficult to type.

Sex is a very important part of a relationship. If you both aren't happy in that department, then eventually neither of you will be. There is a strange conflict in his actions... Namely that he gets aggravated that you can't always have an orgasm, but that when you ask for something in bed, he refuses to do what you want to get you there (or at least make a compromise). I think that there needs to be more communication, but I understand that getting there can be difficult. I think that masturbation, with toys or without, is perfectly healthy, regardless of the status of your sexual relationship, and the idea that having an orgasm without your partner present is considered cheating just because he wasn't there to witness or induce it is completely absurd. My advice to you is to stop pleasuring him until you're getting something out of it. Turnabout is fair play... If he refuses to 69 with you (or at least eat your pussy when you're done, finger you, whatever YOU would be satisfied with In the moment), then stop giving him blowjobs. If you continue, he has no incentive to ever do anything different. Eventually, he WILL notice, and he'll probably say something, or if you're lucky, he'll figure it out. In the meantime, take care of your needs as best as you can.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk!

 

[ShrimpFriedRice]

I bet if you just got the toy on your own
And let him catch you playing with it, would probably work out well. He'd probably get so turned on no guy can resist that

I wouldn't recommend this. This is sexual dynamite. And I don't mean that in a good way.

Preacher may be right, it could work out very, very well. Or, considering your partner's idea that masturbation is cheating, it could very well blow up in your face. (And I also don't mean that in a good way )

 

[mackkjackk]

Foreplay from him varies. I guess I've become lazy to not try to ask too much of him. He works all the time and I'm the stay at home mom. We still have sex about twice a week, but in only lasting about ten minutes. Communication...yeah I know. Lol I've gotten to the point where I tease myself all day that way I'm close to the brink or know that I've gotten mine. *sigh*

The last time we had sex and I didn't cum he said 'Well what's the point in having sex when you won't cum,' seriously guys...how did this boy come from the man I married!?

Last time I gave him a blow job I asked for 69 and he turned me down. There are many other variables there, but that's what I can at least explain right now. I'm on my phone so its a bit difficult to type.

Owch - i "dream" for 69 but rarely happens.. anyway you're in a group of people who understand and can help xx

 

[massageguy1]

Agreed

I wouldn't recommend this. This is sexual dynamite. And I don't mean that in a good way.

Preacher may be right, it could work out very, very well. Or, considering your partner's idea that masturbation is cheating, it could very well blow up in your face. (And I also don't mean that in a good way )

Afraid he's right - no single trick is going to fix this. I wish I could say I couldn't rekate. Please feel free to message me if you'd care to talk.

 

[suckonsimon]

Foreplay from him varies. I guess I've become lazy to not try to ask too much of him. He works all the time and I'm the stay at home mom. We still have sex about twice a week, but in only lasting about ten minutes. Communication...yeah I know. Lol I've gotten to the point where I tease myself all day that way I'm close to the brink or know that I've gotten mine. *sigh*

The last time we had sex and I didn't cum he said 'Well what's the point in having sex when you won't cum,' seriously guys...how did this boy come from the man I married!?

Last time I gave him a blow job I asked for 69 and he turned me down. There are many other variables there, but that's what I can at least explain right now. I'm on my phone so its a bit difficult to type.

From where I'm looking at this, the issue isn't sex, dear. This man has lost his love for you. At some levels, yours for him too. Somehow, that love needs re-kindling. Else it's toys for you and hands for him.

 

[NYC_Man]

I couldn't for the life of me think of an appropriate title, but I need some feedback. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. Things have been a bit stressful over the last year whereas its putting a strain on our sex life. Most times he is either too tired from work or not in the mood (which I don't get - isn't every guy in the mood?!) My husband is 30 and I'm 28. I keep myself trimmed and clean so their should be no reason why sometimes he acts like its a chore to have sex.

Anyway, he is an overly sensitive drama queen at times, and makes me feel like a pretty mellow person. For the last several weeks when he is at work, and if I'm extremely frustrated, I will fuck myself with my hairbrush. I don't have any toys and have asked for one for Christmas, but it's unlikely I will get one.

The other night I forgot to clean my brush handle by the time he got home from work, and he put it all together. He said 'I'm cheating on him and it hurts his feelings.' I've talked with another buddy whom told me that my husband needs to get a grip and get me some toys.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Lol

do u have money?
buy them yourself

 

[live4thebj]

Foreplay from him varies. I guess I've become lazy to not try to ask too much of him. He works all the time and I'm the stay at home mom. We still have sex about twice a week, but in only lasting about ten minutes. Communication...yeah I know. Lol I've gotten to the point where I tease myself all day that way I'm close to the brink or know that I've gotten mine. *sigh*

The last time we had sex and I didn't cum he said 'Well what's the point in having sex when you won't cum,' seriously guys...how did this boy come from the man I married!?

Last time I gave him a blow job I asked for 69 and he turned me down. There are many other variables there, but that's what I can at least explain right now. I'm on my phone so its a bit difficult to type.

I didn't bother reading the other replies but only your posts.

In short, he has trust and self-confidence issues.

Us men sometimes shoot off quick, we sometimes let our work/exhaustion get the better of us, and so on.

Here is my suggestions and view points:
1. As long as you are NOT fucking another person it's not cheating. A toy isn't any different than you using your fingers. It's called masturbation and everyone does it...HELLO!
2. Talk to him. Find a day he is calm and willing to listen and be open and frank with him. Sometimes we married the wrong person and sometimes the person needs a reality check.
3. A non-selfish man will take the time to please his woman. Are we always in the mood to do everything she needs? No. But a man that tries more times than not is someone making an effort. But he needs to make an effort too.

Go from there. Communication is key. I tell my GF what I need. Do I get it all the time? No. Does she work hard and is tired a lot yes. But she too offered me to get the fleshlight and I have considered it for I don't want to fuck anyone else.

IF you want to reply to anything I said please PM me for I am hardly ever on the forum or better yet email me. I will get back to you when I can.

Good luck.

 

[silvertongu3]

I think a woman comfortable enough with sex to have toys and enjoy herself is a major turn on. I don't see any problem with a wife having toys for herself. I wish mine did. I would only have issues if she ended up preferring the toys to me. And if that's the case I would want her to be open with me and help me understand what she needs from me so I can give it to her.

 

[BareBackRider2]

I couldn't for the life of me think of an appropriate title, but I need some feedback. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. Things have been a bit stressful over the last year whereas its putting a strain on our sex life. Most times he is either too tired from work or not in the mood (which I don't get - isn't every guy in the mood?!) My husband is 30 and I'm 28. I keep myself trimmed and clean so their should be no reason why sometimes he acts like its a chore to have sex.

Anyway, he is an overly sensitive drama queen at times, and makes me feel like a pretty mellow person. For the last several weeks when he is at work, and if I'm extremely frustrated, I will fuck myself with my hairbrush. I don't have any toys and have asked for one for Christmas, but it's unlikely I will get one.

The other night I forgot to clean my brush handle by the time he got home from work, and he put it all together. He said 'I'm cheating on him and it hurts his feelings.' I've talked with another buddy whom told me that my husband needs to get a grip and get me some toys.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Lol

To the op, I have to ask an odd question. It's Church a factor here?

That aside I find its ironic that the sexually active often find themselves partners with the sexually repressed.

Sex should never be seen as a chore and I've been through that with my own wife early on in marriage. She was just the same and would even pull away from kisses making me feel totally rejected to the point where I contemplated divorce several times.

But marriage is about so much more than sex and I'm glad I didn't act as things did turn around. Still not perfect but don't be fooled. No relationship is

Re the brush, hell no its not cheating. I bought my wife sex toys and actively encouraged her to have fun when I'm not around.

It's just masturbation. And $100 says your husbands masturbates.

 

[darksider_1]

You guys are 30 and 28 years old and he already is acting like this?I don't care how tired I was at 30 (which at 30 I was doing construction work and working my ass off in over 100 degree heat) I was still ready to tear it up after I got off work.As far as cheating by using a hairbrush handle.I would take you out and help you pick out toys you want and then make you put on a show for me.Sorry but if this is happening already you guys need help.

 

[justfunfor2]

I couldn't for the life of me think of an appropriate title, but I need some feedback. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. Things have been a bit stressful over the last year whereas its putting a strain on our sex life. Most times he is either too tired from work or not in the mood (which I don't get - isn't every guy in the mood?!) My husband is 30 and I'm 28. I keep myself trimmed and clean so their should be no reason why sometimes he acts like its a chore to have sex.

Anyway, he is an overly sensitive drama queen at times, and makes me feel like a pretty mellow person. For the last several weeks when he is at work, and if I'm extremely frustrated, I will fuck myself with my hairbrush. I don't have any toys and have asked for one for Christmas, but it's unlikely I will get one.

The other night I forgot to clean my brush handle by the time he got home from work, and he put it all together. He said 'I'm cheating on him and it hurts his feelings.' I've talked with another buddy whom told me that my husband needs to get a grip and get me some toys.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Lol

There is no reason for him to not let you have toys. Sometimes men only think of themselves. They need to think of the woman they are with and their needs and desires as well.