Guilt

[bicuriousosaur]

Hi, I am new, so I am a little amaeturish about this whole thing, but, do any of you guys (and girls) feel guilt for being bi?

The only reason I am saying this is cause, while my parents known that I am curious, they don't know how curious I am.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Nope. Just be yourself and you'll be happier.

 

[anne27]

None whatsoever. I actually enjoy the hell out of it. I don't have parents to please, though. I'd like to think that they'd be happy for me if they were still around.

Feeling guilty for being what you are, that's a tough thing to carry though life with you, hon.

 

[Travelintheways]

Well, I wouldn't say that I feel guilty about my... whatever bi-ness it is. I feel more like it's a bandwagon that I've jumped on, even though I know it's not true. At the most unexpected moment, I find myself leching girls I see on the street or in the media (all while I try to look like I'm doing no such thing!) And when women here talk about thinking at first that their attraction to women was normal and just appreciation of their beauty, I feel almost an eerie echo in myself.

But still, I feel like I only announced to myself that I might be bi-something after I saw other people who were LGBT and saw that it was okay and that the people themselves were really cool. I feel sometimes like I'm not bi enough, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

And btw, my family has no idea about this, and I don't think they're likely to unless I find a girl I want to bring home. It's not that I feel guilty, but again, I'm insecure about my bi-ness, whatever that may be. But I can talk it about it with my LGBT and ally friends... sheesh.

 

[Mike260]

Discovering your sexuality can ba a complex thing.

But I do have one piece of advice.

Follow your dick. It sure as hell ain't gonna follow you.

 

[bimori]

I think the only thing that matters is what you think of yourself . I say screw every body else . Ohhhhhh that would be bi then wouldn't it .

 

[Sunshinebottom7]

i used to feel guilty but not anymore

 

[bi golly]

Discovering your sexuality can ba a complex thing.

But I do have one piece of advice.

Follow your dick. It sure as hell ain't gonna follow you.

Among the number of times that I have followed my dick instead of my good intentions, none of them turned out well.

One time, I was with this young woman (I was a young man then) and we got back to her place. She got out of the taxi, hiked up her skirt, spread her feet, did a squat and peed in the snow. I wasn't that drunk, and I thought that maybe she was just a little out of control. Throwing caution to the wind, (and it was a cold fucking wind) I went into her place. She pushed me back on the bed, got off enough of my clothes that my cock was out, took off her clothes, rode my face while grunting ferociously, moved back to impale herself on my cock (at 22, I got hard when the door slammed) and rode it to an outrageously loud climax before collapsing on top of me.

Out sex play to this point had not been all that interesting to me, having been treated as a prop, basically, so I rolled her off of me and tried to figure out if she was asleep, drunk or whatever. Since my cock was still inside her, I tried to rouse her and get her to join in with the love making, such as it was. She did stir a little, I came, and she rolled over. I was laying there thinking that this was a big mistake so I tried to see what kind of condition she was in. I couldn't wake her.

I put my clothes on and left.

Then she started stalking me. Stalking is wierd. I don't recommend it for anyone.

That is one time that my dick was not the best part of my body to follow.

"Follow your dick" is what a dog does. I would like to think that we are somewhat more advanced in our ability to control ourselves than a dog, although a dog can do that dick licking thing with ease.

 

[bicuriousosaur]

So, bi golly, have you been with a guy?

Part of this "guilt" is that I feel like two people. I want to find a girlfriend and settle down. The other part wants to have sex with either a guy or girl. I do think experimenting (I am a virgin, by the way), isn't a bad thing at all. I found out that seeing two guys together can turn me on just as good as a guy and a woman (two girls is a debate I am still working on).

I do agree with some of your statements. One time, a gay friend on the Internet said I was more gay cause I looked at gay porn primairly at that time. That kind of pissed me off, cause, he is the last person I thought who could make that decision towards me. I thought was very unfair to judge me on something so silly.

I do love my parents, and I think they would accept it. Of course, I hope they will wish that decision.

 

[deezire1900]

I am the queen of guilt. ...thanks mom.

 

[bi golly]

So, bi golly, have you been with a guy?

Part of this "guilt" is that I feel like two people. I want to find a girlfriend and settle down. The other part wants to have sex with either a guy or girl. I do think experimenting (I am a virgin, by the way), isn't a bad thing at all. I found out that seeing two guys together can turn me on just as good as a guy and a woman (two girls is a debate I am still working on).

To answer your question, no. There are so many flakes out there. I was emailing with someone near me that I met through personals and he finally sent me a picture. He had told me that he had a PhD in one field and was a professional in another. When I saw his picture, I realized that there was no way this guy had the equivalent of two PhDs.

You sound like me when I was a virgin. I thought about guys alot. I was afraid to have sex because I thought I wouldn't like it and that I would then be gay. Well, I had sex and liked it. I wasn't gay. I don't know what I am, but I'm not gay. I like women too much for that.

 

[bicuriousosaur]

I think human beings used to be a sexual based society before the onslaught of religion. This explains the pygmy chimps that also have a similar social structure.

I think people are just sexual. Labels are a bad thing, like it is in music, so, you are basically at disadvantage. I've known gay guys who have had sex with women, for enjoyment, and I know of straight guys who are(or wanted to be) blowned by other guys. I don't think that makes you gay or straight, just makes you known your limitations. But, I do agree with the fact that alot of guys who has sex with guys fall in love with that form of sex, and vice versa. That's when the labels should be applied. But, I think love is love, and lust is lust. There isn't really no major difference.

 

[MintSoda]

Hi, I am new, so I am a little amaeturish about this whole thing, but, do any of you guys (and girls) feel guilt for being bi?

The only reason I am saying this is cause, while my parents known that I am curious, they don't know how curious I am.

When I told my mother I was bi her exact words were "Sometimes I think you say things just to upset me." The key there is she wrongly believed, like a lot of people, that I told her because it directly effected her. Fact is, I told her because I wanted to hear myself say it outloud to someone that mattered to me. Just admitting it to someone is an enormous release of the guitly feeling.

Bi is something you are, not something you choose. It'd be like feeling guilty for being right handed or having blue eyes.

 

[bi golly]

I think human beings used to be a sexual based society before the onslaught of religion. This explains the pygmy chimps that also have a similar social structure.

Hmmm, religion did more than deal with sex. It also tried to explain where we came from, and where we are going. It attempted to give a moral code, a standard, so that each moral question did not need to be debated before action was taken. As for the pygmy chimps, I would like to think that our social interactions are several orders of magnitude more complex.

I think people are just sexual. Labels are a bad thing, like it is in music, so, you are basically at disadvantage. .... But, I think love is love, and lust is lust. There isn't really no major difference.

People use labels to provide a convenient handle for an individual or group of individuals. Sometimes the label is pejorative, other times not. Sometimes pejoration depends on the situation. Sometimes people say 'love' and mean 'lust' but almost never the reverse.

 

[bicuriousosaur]

Maybe I shouldn't brought up religion as a topic. Most of my guilt on how my parents, especially my father, view homosexuals. My mom works in nursing homes, or she was, so I would figure she is more accepting of it. My dad works around gays/bis as well, but, I think he views most of the lifestyle in a negative light. I certainly didn't like it when he told my older sister that I look at naked men

Oh well, what can one little 25 Year old bicurious virgin going to do.

 

[Frimost]

I am the queen of guilt. ...thanks mom.

Seeing how common it is, how mainstream women/women sex and erotica has become I am surprised any girl would feel guilty about it, not when so many straight women are pretending to be gay half the time just because they think it makes them look cool and seeing how many straight men love lesbian porn.

 

[Mike260]

Bi Golly and Bicuriousaur:

I want to belatedly clarify my follow my "follow your dick" comment.

I think I was misinterpreted. Frankly, coming back to the comment myself after a few days I'm not surprised. It came out much more crassly than I intended. I'm sorry if I was insensitive.

All I meant was, don't deny yourself your feelings. We all get turned on by a lot of things-- there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Just as important, you probably won't be able to change what gives you a sexual charge.

So, if it doesn't hurt anybody (you included), explore it, have fun with it. Get to know other people, and yourself, a little better.

At the same time, none of us wants to disappoint our parents. But, are you sure your parents would be disappointed if you had sex with other guys? I don't know your parents so I have no idea what the answer to that question is. But it seems like an important thing to think about. You might be worrying about nothing. (Or, acting on your desires might be more important than what your parents think at this point.)

One thing I want to emphasize-- I don't know the answers to any of this for you. I don't really know you or your situation. These just seem to be things that would be good to think about.

 

[bicuriousosaur]

I doubt I would tell my parents if I have sex with men. Hell, I probably barely even tell them if I had sex with girls. It's not really how they would feel, but how I would feel. I get embarrassed real easily, especially when sex is brought up in the family.

It does hurt when family friends and relatives often times have negative views towards gay people (the majority of my family probably doesn't even believe in bisexuality). Still, even I admit that most gay people make utter jokes of themselves. Oh well, nothing will change unless you are willing to change your views.

 

[polyhymnia]

Well, I wouldn't say that I feel guilty about my... whatever bi-ness it is. I feel more like it's a bandwagon that I've jumped on, even though I know it's not true. At the most unexpected moment, I find myself leching girls I see on the street or in the media (all while I try to look like I'm doing no such thing!) And when women here talk about thinking at first that their attraction to women was normal and just appreciation of their beauty, I feel almost an eerie echo in myself.

But still, I feel like I only announced to myself that I might be bi-something after I saw other people who were LGBT and saw that it was okay and that the people themselves were really cool. I feel sometimes like I'm not bi enough, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

And btw, my family has no idea about this, and I don't think they're likely to unless I find a girl I want to bring home. It's not that I feel guilty, but again, I'm insecure about my bi-ness, whatever that may be. But I can talk it about it with my LGBT and ally friends... sheesh.

well im not secure in my bi-ness. im still feeling it out and sorting out where im at (no awful puns intented). but what you say rings true with a lot of what i feel. i have several lesbian/gay and bi friends who are always willing to talk about it (convert me to the dark side as they say)

regardless of my own orientation i dont believe sexuality is ever something to feel guilty for. its just part of who you are. and discovering and acknowledging it is only going to make you stronger.

love

 

[robbie_boy1]

Hi, I am new, so I am a little amaeturish about this whole thing, but, do any of you guys (and girls) feel guilt for being bi?

The only reason I am saying this is cause, while my parents known that I am curious, they don't know how curious I am.

I have a sense of humility....I am like Popeye...I am what i am and that's all i am, I'm Popeye the bi sailor man...lol

do take care and learn to love yourself for who you are. I am an ex *straight*....then I figured it out that while I was watching porn flicks it was always the dick shots, be it in the mouth or straight sex that I like watching. I liked ww or mff and mfm...but I need to admit....cock shots were always lasting

 

[Mike260]

First, I don't think most gays make jokes of themselves. I live in an area with a large gay population. And, frankly, the middle aged ones look a lot like the rest of us middle-age middle-income people. They're balding and graying, and spend a lot of time at the playground, chaperoning their kids, and at PTA meetings.

Though the above scenario probably sounds unbearably grim to you. But being young is harder. Figuring out who you are and what you want in life are about the most difficult things any of us encounter. Do you have any friends, straigt or gay, that you could talk to? Sexual orientation is of course a difficult thing to talk about-- and you don't want to discuss it with just anybody. But it can be nice to have a sounding board.

 

[Exhale Slowly]

Hey, I’m new here too, but I’ve been having some major guilt lately with my mom. She has this habit of trying to get me to settle down and start a family, which is pretty hard considering I’m not even dating anyone right now, but two weeks ago it came to the point where I just kind of blurted out that I was bisexual and not even looking for anyone at this point in time. She hasn’t talked to me since. And now I feel terrible about how I told her.

 

[Stefani]

My parents know that i have lived with both men and women. My parents are also super religious, "born again" Christians.

When we've discussed the subject I tell them gay, bi and straight are just words. When I fall in love, I fall in love with a person. I don't care what's between their legs. I fall in love with what's in their heart, mind and soul.

I've also told my parents that if God is all about love, he wouldn't see anything wrong with who I love. The important thing (to quote the Wizard of Oz) is that you love. I doubt very much that God is prejudiced and so narrow-minded that I'm only allowed to love one gender.

When I had this conversation with my mom, she actually put her hands over her ears and shouted at me: "STOP MAKING SENSE!"

lol

Steffie

 

[jasongw]

Hi, I am new, so I am a little amaeturish about this whole thing, but, do any of you guys (and girls) feel guilt for being bi?

The only reason I am saying this is cause, while my parents known that I am curious, they don't know how curious I am.

I left my guilt in my other pants! Or was that my last male lover's pants... I forget!

Jason

 

[headstrong69]

Hi, I am new, so I am a little amaeturish about this whole thing, but, do any of you guys (and girls) feel guilt for being bi?

The only reason I am saying this is cause, while my parents known that I am curious, they don't know how curious I am.

why feel guilty? nothing wrong with bein bi.
in fact, as i've said elsewhere, it's the best way to be