guilt from pleasure

[madetobeme]

Please forgive me if this topic has been raised before, but I have this terrible feeling of guilt when my SO is going down on me or doing other things that essentially are for the benefit of my pleasure.

I know that there is also pleasure taken when it is given but I still have this terrible feeling of guilt that he is "doing too much for me" or something like that. It is actually a difficult feeling to describe and I'm usually thinking about the guilt more than enjoying the pleasure of the moment.

Does anyone else feel like this or is it only me?

madetobeme

 

[Aeroil]

Can't speak for myself, but I know a lot of the sub girls here have that same problem

 

[AngelicAssassin]

a lot of the sub girls here have that same problem

Pulling up a seat and munching popcorn to watch this one.

 

[Aeroil]

Pulling up a seat and munching popcorn to watch this one.

what? they've mentioned in the oral servitude thread!
Unless I've misread it somehow......

 

[Xelebes]

Girl, it's ok to feel guilty.

 

[Aeroil]

Examples.

Yes I have always wondered that or the old cliqued line of they have never had the right person administer such a delight.

OTOH I hate recieving oral so I guess thats my double standards showing through !

This is why I hate receiving oral... I feel all this PRESSURE to enjoy myself (when what really pleases me is to see him enjoying himself,) and to cum. In the past I have faked it after about 20 minutes just because my nerves can't handle it anymore, plus I am bored, plus anxious to move on to reciprocating, plus feel guilty that he's putting all this work into me and it's going nowhere...

I think my biggest problem with oral is gazing down on the man servicing me in that manner... To be above him (well, leaning back and propped on pillows) and see him working so hard (desperately? geeze!) to obtain a futile result... (I have never cum by oral.) Maybe it's because most of the men I've been with are so passive already, that it almost makes me physically ill to have to look down on them like that on top of it all. I almost felt like it was adding insult to injury!

It's been suggested to me recently that I might enjoy oral if I were put into a submissive/degrading position (bondage or forced to bend over a rail of some type.) That might work, but I doubt I'll ever enjoy receiving head even 1/10th as much as I enjoy giving it.

Sorry to sidetrack, Rosco... I just had to let out those frustrations! As for whomever said that originally (about getting a bj,) sounds like he's either insecure or a submissive.

Ah, dammit AA now you've made me paranoid!!!!
That's what I meant by my statement, so nobody possibly can take it the wrong way.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Ah, dammit AA now you've made me paranoid!!!!

Nervous in the service studly?

 

[YinandYang]

Yes! There is a huge amount of guilt! In a strange twisted way...it feels good, yet another emotion that can be controlled and issued by SO

That squirming...'OMG that feels good but why are you doing it to me?' feeling is the 'get right down there and serve me bitch!'s younger sister for sure!

But would we have it any other way huh?

 

[madetobeme]

I guess I wouldn't feel so bad if I knew my SO was enjoying himself...

Giving oral makes me so wet because it makes me feel like I'm a hole and nothing more but I really cannot see what he gets out of igoing down on me-it's wet, messy and much more tiring than all I need to do

But it's not only oral, it's other things too-even having him play with my breasts gives me an enormous feeling of guilt mostly because there's no point ( I respond to nothing but pain with my breasts).

At least I know I'm not alone with my feelings here. As YinandYang mentioned it is another emotion to have controlled and played with!

 

[TaintedB]

Yes! There is a huge amount of guilt! In a strange twisted way...it feels good, yet another emotion that can be controlled and issued by SO

That squirming...'OMG that feels good but why are you doing it to me?' feeling is the 'get right down there and serve me bitch!'s younger sister for sure!

But would we have it any other way huh?

I would!

And have. For some strange, mysterious reason having nothing whatsoever to do with my awesome powers of intimidation none of my long term partners and very few of my (less skillfully chosen, I admit) short term ones have had any desire whatsover to "go downtown" on yours truly.

 

[SueJ]

Gee, am I the only one who feels no guilt? I usually orgasm in a minute when he does that, so I don't need to feel guilty about it dragging on forever.

 

[YinandYang]

I guess I wouldn't feel so bad if I knew my SO was enjoying himself...

Giving oral makes me so wet because it makes me feel like I'm a hole and nothing more but I really cannot see what he gets out of igoing down on me-it's wet, messy and much more tiring than all I need to do

But it's not only oral, it's other things too-even having him play with my breasts gives me an enormous feeling of guilt mostly because there's no point ( I respond to nothing but pain with my breasts).

At least I know I'm not alone with my feelings here. As YinandYang mentioned it is another emotion to have controlled and played with!

Maybe he enjoys it too? From the other side of the coin I love giving oral to my SO....so I assume he wouldn't do it to me if he didn't like it. (and he would defo tell me if it didn't want to do it)

I guess it depends on the circumstances for me, we don't always engage in S&M sex.....sometimes it just feels natural to get down to it in a nilla way. When we are playing, thats when I feel the guilt...but he knows this and capitalises on it. I am finding though, the deeper and deeper I get into BDSM style sex...the harder it is to get off on simple sex...maybe that has something to do with it?

 

[h_i_s]

i understand the guilt.

i was very confused the first time my Master pleasured me in this way. my thoughts at that moment, "Hey! -- Oooh, god that feels so good. -- Why is He doing this? i'm supposed to be the one pleasuring HIM. -- Ooooo .. errmm ... right there, yes! -- i think i need to discuss this with Him ....... later. -- Oooo ............".

We DID discuss it. Funny thing is, the explaination He gave was so simple, really:
When He pleasures me orally, He receives great pleasure simply in observing my reactions & responses. He finds His property to be physically attractive, and loves watching. He takes great pleasure in being capable of arousing me, and enjoys observing every bit of evidence of, & every step of that arousal as it grows.

The feelings of guilt were easily put aside as soon as i began to understand this.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I would!

And have. For some strange, mysterious reason having nothing whatsoever to do with my awesome powers of intimidation none of my long term partners and very few of my (less skillfully chosen, I admit) short term ones have had any desire whatsover to "go downtown" on yours truly.

Some people are just made for oral servitude. *shrug* You must give off vibes.

 

[jasonlf]

When He pleasures me orally, He receives great pleasure simply in observing my reactions & responses. He finds His property to be physically attractive, and loves watching. He takes great pleasure in being capable of arousing me, and enjoys observing every bit of evidence of, & every step of that arousal as it grows.

Exactly the same way I feel, and exactly what I was going to say

 

[serijules]

I don't feel as much guilt (although that is there too) about actually receiving the act as I do about DESIRING it. Oddly enough, except for very very brief moments...I had never really experienced oral before my Domme. The little taste she gave me was such incredible pleasure that the mere thought is almost orgasmic. I feel guilty sometimes about having such a strong desire for her to really pleasure me orally for an extended time and until orgasm.

My biggest guilt though is how long it can take me to come...unless the stimulation is just so, I cannot orgasm easily by anothers touch...I'm way too spoiled to my own touch. I just can't relax and feel that it is ok to take awhile, even though this is very normal. I feel the same when pleasuring a guy too..if it takes awhile, I lose my confidence. I have time issues, lol.

 

[laurel-marie]

Please forgive me if this topic has been raised before, but I have this terrible feeling of guilt when my SO is going down on me or doing other things that essentially are for the benefit of my pleasure.

I know that there is also pleasure taken when it is given but I still have this terrible feeling of guilt that he is "doing too much for me" or something like that. It is actually a difficult feeling to describe and I'm usually thinking about the guilt more than enjoying the pleasure of the moment.

Does anyone else feel like this or is it only me?

madetobeme

Guilt or is it worry?
For me the two tend to be intertwined.

 

[madetobeme]

feeling better

That makes me feel a little less....guilty?!? Thanks for all your input.

I think I'll talk it over with my SO and see what he has to say.

 

[madetobeme]

Guilt or is it worry?
For me the two tend to be intertwined.

Now that you mention it, it's probably a little of both.
Worry about how my body looks and then worry about how long he has been giving me oral for and then worry about why I'm worrying!
And then there's that guilt about how I shouldn't be getting pleasure from him, it should be the other way around!

I'm such a tight bundle of worry and guilt that it just makes it harder to get aroused and then my SO tries even harder!! AHHHhh..

 

[Aeroil]

Nervous in the service studly?

yes, and you know I am.... or at least now you do.....

 

[laurel-marie]

Now that you mention it, it's probably a little of both.
Worry about how my body looks and then worry about how long he has been giving me oral for and then worry about why I'm worrying!
And then there's that guilt about how I shouldn't be getting pleasure from him, it should be the other way around!

I'm such a tight bundle of worry and guilt that it just makes it harder to get aroused and then my SO tries even harder!! AHHHhh..

Yep.
If only there was a little switch in my head I could turn off.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Yep.
If only there was a little switch in my head I could turn off.

the switch is there, you just need to learn how to use it.

 

[laurel-marie]

the switch is there, you just need to learn how to use it.

Point me to the switch and I will try to turn it off.

Haven't seen you around much...missed ya.

 

[madetobeme]

searching

After you find it can you give me directions?? Please??

 

[Kajira Callista]

After you find it can you give me directions?? Please??

i can give you directions to mine, but i doubt mine is in the same place as yours.