Guilt from leaving marks

[AvaAdore]

... let them document it ...

I have never been in the situation, but it would feel horribly invasive to me. I understand that sort of thing is important, and a person with bruises *may* have been abused, but I would still hate it.

 

[James G 5]

My ob/gyn's office has a section at the bottom of form number 5 thousand 27 that you have to fill out before your first appointment with questions that are pretty much asking if you are into BDSM and i live in a tiny town thats not even on maps lol.

You just say that to keep us from finding you

And another note on the measurements (as I watch CSI)
The measurements establish scale for the photos so if criminal action was taken, they could correctly match the marks to the biter

 

[A Desert Rose]

It still goes back to 'why invite trouble when you don't need to?'

If you know that you are applying for a job the requires drug testing, why on earth would you get high the day before? If you know you'll be seeing a doctor in 2 days, why engage in this kind of play? It can wait... for cryin' out loud.

There's still plenty of fun to be had that does not leave marks that might be questioned. If the questioning makes you uncomfortable, that is...

 

[FungiUg]

If you know that you are applying for a job the requires drug testing, why on earth would you get high the day before? If you know you'll be seeing a doctor in 2 days, why engage in this kind of play? It can wait... for cryin' out loud.

Common sense is terribly uncommon, I find...

 

[A Desert Rose]

Common sense is terribly uncommon, I find...

Even in Australia?... oops, I meant New Zealand... hehehe...

 

[FungiUg]

Even in Australia?... oops, I meant New Zealand... hehehe...

It's okay ADR... the two are easily confused by you Canadians.

 

[A Desert Rose]

It's okay ADR... the two are easily confused by you Canadians.

Oh, well done, pal! Very well done... LMAO

 

[Kajira Callista]

You just say that to keep us from finding you

And another note on the measurements (as I watch CSI)
The measurements establish scale for the photos so if criminal action was taken, they could correctly match the marks to the biter

im not hard to find in the middle of the woods

 

[James G 5]

It still goes back to 'why invite trouble when you don't need to?'

If you know that you are applying for a job the requires drug testing, why on earth would you get high the day before? If you know you'll be seeing a doctor in 2 days, why engage in this kind of play? It can wait... for cryin' out loud.

There's still plenty of fun to be had that does not leave marks that might be questioned. If the questioning makes you uncomfortable, that is...

Some people get off on the thrill of the idea of exposing someone to the marks
Mebbe she was going for that & didn't think of the consequences

 

[James G 5]

Common sense is terribly uncommon, I find...

See comment above

 

[James G 5]

im not hard to find in the middle of the woods

Remind me to mail you a GPS suppository

 

[potatohead]

I don't think that either one of us planned on her having marks like that, nor did we expect them to last as long as they did.

Oh, and at one point she thought I was going to twist and pull her nipple off.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Remind me to mail you a GPS suppository

or i could just give you my address

 

[James G 5]

or i could just give you my address

There's a thought
The hunt idea is kind of fun tho

And are you implying there's something wrong with GPS suppositories???

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Bumped

A short while ago I had an experience with a women who asked me to bite her while we were having sex and she kept asking for me to bite her harder and harder so I did and she loved it during but not as much afterwards. By the end of the week she was covered with bruises all over her body from my bites, neck, shoulders, legs, thighs, arms etc. and I was feeling pretty guilty over it. To top it off, a few days later she had a doctors appointment and the doctor not only measured the bites but wanted to have me arrested! BTW, what would the doctor have measured them for?

How do you deal with guilt that comes from looking at the marks on a lovers body? It's kind of a new thing for me and both of us are learning our limits as we explore.

Thanks in advance,

For someone asking questions from the other point of view.

 

[Marquis]

Same thing happened to me, except it was a belt, not teeth.

I didn't feel all that guilty either, on account of she had it coming.

*LOL*

 

[coyotepondering]

To play devil's advocate....

the doctor is trying to be a good person. The posts about "its not the doctor's business" remind me of when we hear about a woman who is repeatedly abused and people say "why didn't someone step in?"

Doctors probably see too many cases of abuse where the abused is protecting the abuser. I've studied abuse and BDSM for an article I've thought about writing and from the traditional signs of abuse, the only thing that separates BDSM from abuse is intimate context that a doctor doesn't really get.

With that said, I am a biter and enjoy leaving marks but I am very careful to not leave them where clothes don't cover them up as my slave isn't barefoot and kept at home. I only feel guilty when I left a deeper or unintentional mark because that showed lack of judgement or control on my part.

If you feel guilty because you feel like you didn't exercise proper judgement then the guilt is warranted but its pretty clear that she liked it so mark it up something to learn from and move on.

 

[chris9]

To me it seems as if you are feeling guilty, because the marks just happened without either of you expecting this outcome. I can really understand this guilt, though I never had any marks except on my buttocks which outside of a doctor's office no one sees.
I consider it as pretty normal that especially when you are still experimenting, not knowing what either of you like, unexpected things just happen. If your girlfriend is just finding out that she likes the pain and you are not seeing each other regurlarly (like almost daily) it's kind of hard to evade those drawbacks.
Did you talk to her about it? Did you tell her that you felt guilty about leaving the marks and have you discussed with her what she would like you doing to avoid such a situation in the future? And do you know if she wants to be bitten again, maybe just more hidden or just doesn't want to deal with some pain days after without the sexual tension to ease the pain?
Just some thoughts to think about...

 

[DJsquaRD]

It's all part of the experience

IMHO, having welts and bruises under your clothes is part of what makes BDSM such a rush. Being in close proximity with people who don't understand the scene and having to hide your marks just adds to the excitement.

 

[Deadly Guardian]

IMHO, having welts and bruises under your clothes is part of what makes BDSM such a rush. Being in close proximity with people who don't understand the scene and having to hide your marks just adds to the excitement.

That is so true. Most of who my slave work with have not clue at all.Either they do not wish to know or havent watched carefully enough to see.

 

[StarvingHeart]

I've only read the sifrst page, but if i were in your place.. i would feel kind of hurt if my partner was ashamed of something i put on them after them asking me even.

The bruises i would get from my partner i wore with pride. It reminded me of him.

Just remind her that she ASKED you to do it.

 

[Deadly Guardian]

I've only read the sifrst page, but if i were in your place.. i would feel kind of hurt if my partner was ashamed of something i put on them after them asking me even.

The bruises i would get from my partner i wore with pride. It reminded me of him.

Just remind her that she ASKED you to do it.

She knows very much she asked for them. Her job is one of those PC jobs. Her fitting the mainstream is what is needed so be it.