Grr...fucking writer's block

[LC Rough Caress]

Alright, I need some help here. My brain is locked up and I'm stuck in a spot. Here's the scene.

The main character has just arrived at a party with dozens of people in and out of the house. He walks into the living room then moves off towards the den. When he walks into the den, he sees a large group of people sitting around and silently watching three girls throughly enjoy each other with wriggling fingers and tongues.

The idea here is that this threeway is not supposed to be a drawn out scene...it pops in, the girls cum, and then the scene advances. It's supposed to be "Oooh that's interesting..." and then something else draws the main character's attention (Sorry, I'm not going to tell you what would draw anyone's attention away a scene like that ).

So...my problem is that I'm having a little trouble describing the threeway in a manner that one drag on for too long and have my readers getting off too quickly. Anyone got any thoughts?

 

[Chicklet]

don't know what to tell you, because all the ideas that pop up in my head *I* want to use = )

Go do some research

Think of a bunch of descriptive words for the scene

FLESH

SKIN

SWEAT

PULSING

and try to string them together.

My opinion.

Chicklet

 

[sirhugs]

It's already in progress when he arrives, and still continues as he leaves, so just limit it to one paragraph:

He enters, notices A,B and C ( on floor, couch?). A is topless. B is nude. C fully dressed , but blouse unbuttoned. As B licks C's right breast, C turns and kisses A. He then notices C's panties are on a lampshade, as A inserts a finger in C's pussy. b reachs a hand over and caresses A'ss breast. [or whatever]

then he leaves. It's not like he just opened a fresh beer, sits to drink it, then decides to pour some over the girls and help lick it off.

 

[Chicklet]

too complicated if you give the girls names - if you're going to call them anything, call them by their hair color. but i really think you should limit it to a description of the flesh, instead of the bodies.

chicklet

 

[deliciously_naughty]

too complicated if you give the girls names - if you're going to call them anything, call them by their hair color. but i really think you should limit it to a description of the flesh, instead of the bodies.

chicklet

agreed! Naming them would open up a ton of questions, like does he know them etc. Maybe you could have him walking in to see a redhead, blonde and brunette. R is licking BL's pussy, maybe while BR is doing her with a strap-on. Maybe one or two of them come and whatever it is that catches his attention happens.

 

[LC Rough Caress]

The thing is, this is a situation based on a real event. I wasn't actually at this party, but my best friend was, and he told me that these three girls (all of whom that I knew) got drunk and went at it infront of everyone. All three of them were pretty promiscious anyway, but this was something that people talked about for a long while, and I thought it would go good with the story.

It's going to make more sense once you read the whole thing, from what happened to bring him to the party, to what happens afterwards. Although I knew the girls, it might be a good idea to have the girls in the story be just three strangers from another school or something. You're right in that naming them would be a little too complicated, and this threeway isn't something I want to be focusing on. It's supposed to foreshadow some of the wild adventures that the main character is going to find himself invovled in, both later in the story and in sequels that will follow afterwards.

By the way, thanks for all the feedback, it's really helping me out here.

 

[MissTaken]

I agree with where Sirhugs was going on this one.

You dont' even need to describe an entire sexual foray. The implication based on bits and pieces might be enough to keep your reader's attention and lead on into the adventures of which you speak. Hmm now you have my curiousity peaked.

It's already in progress when he arrives, and still continues as he leaves, so just limit it to one paragraph:

He enters, notices A,B and C ( on floor, couch?). A is topless. B is nude. C fully dressed , but blouse unbuttoned. As B licks C's right breast, C turns and kisses A. He then notices C's panties are on a lampshade, as A inserts a finger in C's pussy. b reachs a hand over and caresses A'ss breast. [or whatever]

then he leaves. It's not like he just opened a fresh beer, sits to drink it, then decides to pour some over the girls and help lick it off.

 

[LC Rough Caress]

Hmm now you have my curiousity peaked.

Hehe well good, but no sneak previews. You'll have to wait like everyone else.

 

[Chicklet]

= p

 

[Vincent E]

Personally I wouldn't have a problem reading a long description of the scene if it were written well. If you get too hung up on making it brief you may lose something.

But if you are intent on making it short how about having the main character come upon the girls just as they are about to finish. Rather than start the whole thing from the beginning and write a long scenario try to make it short with the character thinking, "Wow, I would have liked to have seen the whole thing. Hey, look at that over there."

 

[LC Rough Caress]

Thanks again guys, for all your help. I've pretty much overcome my writer's block.

Unfortunately, I've been so busy with school lately that the story is going to take a little longer than I had hoped. Those A's don't just pop out of nowhere.



Oh well, responsibility is the price you pay for being successful.