Group Sex

[NicoleDiver]

Hi everyone,
I am meeting some men next week with a view to group sex. We are meeting in a bar. Is there anything you think I should know before I do this

 

[tanyachrs]

Is there anything you think I should know

What do you know so far?

 

[NicoleDiver]

Just their names, where we are meeting. They have also sent me some photos of themselves and scenes from previous meetings

 

[M's girl]

Scenes from previous meetings? What are they? Do they travel around offering group sex or something? Will you be alone / the only girl? So you don't know them in RL at all thus far?

I would want ID's and phone numbers and have them checked before you even meet them.

 

[Tuomas]

Just like that?

You will definitely need someone with whom to check up regularly, so no one gets any funny ideas. The thing seems very odd, really, so you should pass these guys' IDs on to a friend, plus phone numbers at the very least....

 

[ru2able]

Don't do it!

 

[tanyachrs]

Just their names, where we are meeting. They have also sent me some photos of themselves and scenes from previous meetings

OK, that's what you know about them. What do you know about sex, group sex, STDs, pregnancy, rape, date rape drugs, intoxication, the legal system, and self defense? You've got a lot of research to do. Hop to it and get back to us when you know enough to ask a real question.

 

[Eilan]

On the extremely rare occasions that I've met people online for sex, I've insisted on meeting them at least once (for a quick lunch, coffee, whatever) before we planned to have sex. Anyone who doesn't want to do this should be checked off the list.

Here's a thread with some good info in it.

Be safe.

 

[SweetErika]

Just their names, where we are meeting. They have also sent me some photos of themselves and scenes from previous meetings

How do you know they are who they say?

What about disease/infection - have you asked about their sexual history, health status, and insisted on condoms and dental dams? Are you okay with the very real risk of getting something like herpes or HPV/warts from skin-to-skin contact, being at higher risk because your partners have a history of group sex/many partners, or the barriers failing?

What are you doing to reduce your risk of being assaulted? Are you bringing at least one (preferably big and/or armed) trusted male friend from real life who will just be there to make sure you're safe at all times?

As M's girl said, will you get their full names and contact info before the encounter so you could check them out, or at least have something for the police to go on if you're harmed?

What's the worst-case scenario regarding your emotional state after the encounter? What if you feel dirty, used, guilty, etc.? How will you deal with that? Is there someone you can turn to to talk about it if you have negative emotions afterwards?

Please understand that I have nothing against group sex, but the above are some very real and scary possibilities that you need to understand and have a plan for prior to going through with anything.

If I were looking for a group encounter, I'd turn to an established swingers, sex-positive or BDSM group/club. Why? Because the members of those communities are generally better about regular testing, condom/barrier use, being honest about their history and putting the safety/welfare of everyone involved first IN MY EXPERIENCE. I'd feel much safer having sex with new people at an on-premise club with rules of conduct where I could talk to others who knew them and know there are plenty of people around to intervene if something went wrong.

That's not to say one can assume they're completely safe in an established club/group environment, but from what I've seen, it seems they have a better chance at being safe than if they'd gotten together with a group of random people.

OK, that's what you know about them. What do you know about sex, group sex, STDs, pregnancy, rape, date rape drugs, intoxication, the legal system, and self defense? You've got a lot of research to do. Hop to it and get back to us when you know enough to ask a real question.

What makes you think the OP would come back with a "real question" after you've been so rude and unwelcoming with this remark?

 

[lindahotstuff]

Now I think I'm one of the more uninhibited women, but you are mad!
I have had group sex, and it can be fun, but in a situation where you have met people previously, there are males and females, and in an environment where you are safe and can leave when you want. I think what you are talking about is a gangbang. Now that might be OK if there are other women present, but the dangers are so great to meet people you don't know and go off with them to have sex. You could end up being raped or beaten or killed. Don't do it. Instead, join a swingers club that has couples nights where single women are invited. You can go and have safe sex with as many men (and women if you want) safely.

 

[tanyachrs]

You don't really believe this story, do you? Anyone who sets out to have group sex with a bunch of strangers off the internet with no more clue than this deserves what she gets. On the off chance this was a real question, I'd advise her to try one man at a time first. It's a tricky game and there's no way we could answer an "anything I should know" question thoroughly enough to prevent all the possible problems and any attempt on our part to do so is essentially malpractice.

If she's real, she's an idiot, but I seriously doubt she's real. Stop playing into his/her/its game.

 

[SweetErika]

You don't really believe this story, do you? Anyone who sets out to have group sex with a bunch of strangers off the internet with no more clue than this deserves what she gets. On the off chance this was a real question, I'd advise her to try one man at a time first. It's a tricky game and there's no way we could answer an "anything I should know" question thoroughly enough to prevent all the possible problems and any attempt on our part to do so is essentially malpractice.

If she's real, she's an idiot, but I seriously doubt she's real. Stop playing into his/her/its game.

There have been a lot of stupid questions posed and statements made in my time here. Today someone said the penis was all muscle. A woman awhile ago was having unprotected group sex, including anal, and didn't think she could get diseases from that, IIRC (correct me if I'm wrong, Eilan ). Someone thought they were going THROUGH the cervix during sex, and that was perfectly normal. And then there's all of the pregnancy, birth control, STD and sex myths people spout on a regular basis.

There are a lot of royally stupid and common sense-lacking people who come here for advice, knowledge and community. A good number of them are genuine to the best of my knowledge, and I've seen quite a few become wiser after spending some time here.

The bottom line, though, is that I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt just in case they're genuine or the discussion could help someone who's lurking. I trust my BS detector to tell me when someone's not genuine, as it doesn't lead me astray often and has proved more reliable than people like you.

 

[M's girl]

I'm not sure if Nicole's question was meant to really inform herself. She has not been back lately. We see a lot of Bullshit questions here if you ask me (I like the BS detector remark Erika!) so you never know... But Erika has a valid point in that someone's question with a high BS-score might in the meantime inform people who really want to know!

 

[DevilsAngel369]

Hi everyone,
I am meeting some men next week with a view to group sex. We are meeting in a bar. Is there anything you think I should know before I do this

make sure its SAFE sex!

 

[Honeybee80]

delete

 

[Dreamliner]

Two thoughts:

Safe sex;
STD's

 

[Meekail]

Hi everyone,
I am meeting some men next week with a view to group sex. We are meeting in a bar. Is there anything you think I should know before I do this

Yes. protection from STD!

 

[human_male]

It seems awefully risky to me.

 

[SweetErika]

Part of me agrees with SweetErika, but the other part feels that if this an actual person doing something that stupid... O'well. Things like this help thin out the herd. Harsh, I know, but you can't save every from their own stupidity.

I don't disagree with this at all, it's just that I've seen a lot of ignorance corrected through the sharing of knowledge that goes on here. Maybe someone will be more safety-conscious or learn something from this thread that'll help them down the road, so I don't believe it's a waste to give good advice or people who are trying to learn "get what they deserve" in terms of assault, disease or death.

 

[Honeybee80]

delete

 

[therockap1]

If this is true, I'm sure nothing will go wrong, a bunch of men that you have never met and going for group sex, excellent idea

 

[NicoleDiver]

Thanks

Thanks for your help everyone. You have made me give this a lot more consideration. I am just going to meet one of the men for a drink in a bar and a chat. Then see where we might take it in future.

 

[M's girl]

Thanks for your help everyone. You have made me give this a lot more consideration. I am just going to meet one of the men for a drink in a bar and a chat. Then see where we might take it in future.

Good start. Let someone know where you are and with who for this date as well. Remember.... it's still someone from that group and as you can see we all sort of thought this was NOT such a good idea. Be careful! And be safe.

Hope it works out the way you want it to....

 

[NicoleDiver]

Hi Everyone,
Just to let you know how it went last night. I met one of the men in a very public bar. We had a drink and some food and just chatted for a few hours. We agreed it was best to get to know one another first.

 

[skitzoid]

You've taken the first step, honey, and it's the right one. Meet them all before you enjoy yourself with them. And, yes, insist on safe sex, condoms. Just because they look sincere and talk a good game doesn't mean their STD free. Online is the spookiest community. Be careful and safe.

enjoy the ride and report back.