Grooming/Stalking from a first person view

[LiterallyLiterate]

Hey, just wanted to air an idea I’ve been toying with for general feedback and potential ideas and plot twists.

I’m thinking a long-format story with a (very) slow progression. I’ve not put oen to paper yet, but I easily see this going into 50k+ words.

So, the setup:
Mid-forties man, divorced or a widower, no kids, at least not who live at home at any rate.
One day, he sees his neighbor’s teen daughter who has been away for a few years to go to school in another city. The MC and his ex/late wife have always been like spare uncle/aunt to this adorable, slightly dorky and insecure girl.
Now, however, she’s all grown up, gorgeous and hot like hell, but still a little introverted and shy.

The MC is obviously smitten and gets obsessed with the idea of having her in any way he can, and so he begins slow, grooming her and building up her confidence and trust.

This is the general premise, and I have lots of ideas for the larger details. I kind of like the idea of the MC being a photographer, probably just a hobbyist, maybe professional. Or maybe a sketch artist? Something to guve him an excuse to be around her eventually, even though it will start with just catching glimpses through the fence or a window, a ‘chance’ encounter at the mall and so on, each encounter building the tension and obsession.

A couple of points to consider:
His or her POV?
Is she positive or negative to his attention?
Has she, perhaps, harbored a secret Oedipus complex for him, even though they’re not related?

I see this as an E/V story, but could just as easily be a N/R story. Thoughts?

And lastly, is this something people would like to read? I’m seeing the ending as him finally getting her in bed and gaining his prize. I don’t have any ‘happily-ever-after’ ideas to spin, but if it turns out good there’s always the possibility of a sequel or two.

 

[KindredFlame]

Interesting, I am not sure if stalking in the true sense of the word is totally acceptable on here for a story but wtf do I know age is the next thing obviously you say young teen don’t you? This might be an issue unless age is defined
However the thought of becoming a cum slut for an M/C appeals to my warped mind. Or have I watched to much of sons of anarchy?

 

[StillStunned]

One of the first stories I published here is Love at First Sight. It's in E&V, which I thought made perfect sense because it's about an obsessed voyeur. However, early scoring showed me that the theme didn't match the readers' expectations.

It's recovered a bit since then, and sits at a respectable 4.35. It will never be my most popular story, but it's well received now for what it is.

So you could tell your story from the man's POV, and make it creepy, and it will find an audience. As long as there's no physical or mental coercion, I wouldn't put it in R/NC.

But in my experience one way to write a successful voyeurism story is for the voyeur to worry about being creepy. There's a conflict between knowing that it's wrong to watch, and being unable to stop. That's part of the eroticism.

The other possibility is for the voyeur to believe there's a special bond between them and their target. Even if the target is actually unaware, the voyeur should imagine that they are, and that they're teasing, or taunting. The voyeur doesn't worry about being wrong, because they think it's what the target wants.

As you can imagine, this shifts the story from erotic to creepy.

 

[KindredFlame]

I said interesting.

The cold brew in her hand suddenly felt like a block of ice, mirroring the chill that shot through Emily. Twenty pairs of eyes, framed by the grim visages of men in leather and denim, bore into her from the outdoor seating area. They weren’t just looking; they were assessing, their gazes heavy, possessive, like a pack of wolves eyeing a lone deer. A primal fear, sharp and acrid, clawed its way up her throat, threatening to choke her. Yet, beneath the terror, her body betrayed her, a shameful warmth spreading low in her belly, her pussy twitching with an autonomic response that disgusted and thrilled her in equal measure.

The biker – the man who had been a shadowy fixture in her life for weeks, now standing less than a foot away – watched her, a faint, almost imperceptible smirk playing on his lips. His eyes, the color of storm-churned sea, held a knowing glint, as if he could read the chaotic war waging within her. He smelled of leather, exhaust, and something else, something primal and masculine that both repelled and drew her in.

“They’re just admiring the view, miss,” he rumbled, his voice a low growl that resonated in her chest, a stark contrast to his earlier, almost polite apology. He didn't offer a name, or an explanation for their collective, unnerving attention. He merely stated it, as a fact of nature, as if her presence demanded their scrutiny. His refusal of her coffee offer echoed in her ears – "buying his men drinks also." Not just his men, but his men, a subtle emphasis that spoke volumes about his command.

Emily swallowed, her mouth dry. “I… I see.” The words felt inadequate, flimsy things against the weight of the moment. She clutched her bank card tighter, its plastic edge digging into her palm. She wanted to bolt, to disappear into the mundane safety of her car and never look back. But her feet felt rooted to the polished concrete floor, trapped by the collective gaze and the magnetic pull of the man before her.

He didn't move, just held her in his stare, a silent challenge, a silent promise. The silence stretched, thick and oppressive, broken only by the distant hum of traffic and the clinking of ceramic cups from inside the café. The barista, oblivious, called out another order.

Finally, he nodded, a slow, deliberate movement. “Enjoy your coffee, Emily.”

 

[Rob_Royale]

Why not drop the grooming idea which is a bit ick, and just try seduction? It's not far off what you already have there. Maybe he can see she's into him a bit and the way she complains about the immature boys at her college. She just needs a little encouragement and some well timed compliments on his part.

 

[KindredFlame]

Why not drop the grooming idea which is a bit ick, and just try seduction? It's not far off what you already have there. Maybe he can see she's into him a bit and the way she complains about the immature boys at her college. She just needs a little encouragement and some well timed compliments on his part.

I think it’s my makeup that I go to the darkest option. I thought the same when I first saw the post but I have thought about the groop sex and being used mode more than the stalking

 

[LiterallyLiterate]

Thanks for the initial feedback, it's appreciated. To clarify a couple of things, she's nineteen, so no chance of any underage, I'm well aware of that particular prohibition, not that I’d write underage stuff in any event.

As for POV, it’s got to be his if I’m to get all the various encounters how I want them.

I think you might be right, Rob, it’s just as easy to get the story I want from seduction rather than grooming, the main point would be the MC’s thoughts and obsession, fantasizing over everything about her to the extreme. Not sure if I want to play it off as a dream come true when he finally succeeds or an anti climax when she’s not all he has imagined her to be. Jury’s still out on that one.

 

[000zing]

I view these 'grooming', 'stalking' labels as overdone. Men have always been smitten. Men have always trailed after girls. Suddenly it's a criminal offence.

Right, I get this as (possibly) an unwanted nuisance and of course especially if it continues after being warned off. But if no objection is raised at any time? And given that the 'target' is of course min. 18 years of age..?

 

[LiterallyLiterate]

I view these 'grooming', 'stalking' labels as overdone. Men have always been smitten. Men have always trailed after girls. Suddenly it's a criminal offence.

Right, I get this as (possibly) an unwanted nuisance and of course especially if it continues after being warned off. But if no objection is raised at any time? And given that the 'target' is of course min. 18 years of age..?

I’m leaning towards her being mostly friendly towards him, since she knows him affectionately as her spare uncle next door. I’m thinking it’ll be more confusion on her part, both at him making advances of an increasingly intimate nature, coupled with her own lack of experience and somewhat shy disposition. I considered if she’d be a virgin too, but that just seemed a little too much, so I’m thinking inexperienced more than a completely blank sheet.

This is my main motivation for even considering her POV, the opportunity to cycle through some of her reactions to his attention. The juxtaposition of seeing him as a kind of father figure but also being aroused when he looks at her bare legs or maybe lets his finger linger on the inside of her wrist when handing her something.

 

[sirhugs]

I view these 'grooming', 'stalking' labels as overdone. Men have always been smitten. Men have always trailed after girls. Suddenly it's a criminal offence.

Right, I get this as (possibly) an unwanted nuisance and of course especially if it continues after being warned off. But if no objection is raised at any time? And given that the 'target' is of course min. 18 years of age..?

whether it is criminal or not, an unwanted nuisance is just no way to treat a lady

 

[000zing]

whether it is criminal or not, an unwanted nuisance is just no way to treat a lady

I think the point you're missing, perhaps deliberately, is that there may well just be such a thing as a 'wanted nuisance', given that throughout human history it's generally been boys chasing girls rather than the opposite, i.e. the attention may be far from unwelcome in particular cases.

 

[JordynRose]

I think the point you're missing, perhaps deliberately, is that there may well just be such a thing as a 'wanted nuisance', given that throughout human history it's generally been boys chasing girls rather than the opposite, i.e. the attention may be far from unwelcome in particular cases.

I was. If there is any insight you feel I may be able to assist, you know where to find me.

Kindest regards, wishing for your success.
JR

 

[sirhugs]

I think the point you're missing, perhaps deliberately, is that there may well just be such a thing as a 'wanted nuisance', given that throughout human history it's generally been boys chasing girls rather than the opposite, i.e. the attention may be far from unwelcome in particular cases.

you used the term "unwanted". That is what I was responding to.

 

[000zing]

you used the term "unwanted". That is what I was responding to.

... but I also used the term "possibly"...

 

[Britva415]

... but I also used the term "possibly"...

Well, you're the only one who's talking about the wanted ones, and acting like it's wrong for anyone else to talk about the unwanted ones. It's two different conversations. You have picked the one you want to have, others have stuck with the one they were already having.

 

[000zing]

The phrase 'as clear as mud' comes to mind...

 

[SmilingLez]

Hey, just wanted to air an idea I’ve been toying with for general feedback and potential ideas and plot twists.

I’m thinking a long-format story with a (very) slow progression. I’ve not put oen to paper yet, but I easily see this going into 50k+ words.

So, the setup:
Mid-forties man, divorced or a widower, no kids, at least not who live at home at any rate.
One day, he sees his neighbor’s teen daughter who has been away for a few years to go to school in another city. The MC and his ex/late wife have always been like spare uncle/aunt to this adorable, slightly dorky and insecure girl.
Now, however, she’s all grown up, gorgeous and hot like hell, but still a little introverted and shy.

The MC is obviously smitten and gets obsessed with the idea of having her in any way he can, and so he begins slow, grooming her and building up her confidence and trust.

This is the general premise, and I have lots of ideas for the larger details. I kind of like the idea of the MC being a photographer, probably just a hobbyist, maybe professional. Or maybe a sketch artist? Something to guve him an excuse to be around her eventually, even though it will start with just catching glimpses through the fence or a window, a ‘chance’ encounter at the mall and so on, each encounter building the tension and obsession.

A couple of points to consider:
His or her POV?
Is she positive or negative to his attention?
Has she, perhaps, harbored a secret Oedipus complex for him, even though they’re not related?

I see this as an E/V story, but could just as easily be a N/R story. Thoughts?

And lastly, is this something people would like to read? I’m seeing the ending as him finally getting her in bed and gaining his prize. I don’t have any ‘happily-ever-after’ ideas to spin, but if it turns out good there’s always the possibility of a sequel or two.

Have you thought about going darker? Perhaps the much younger female is sick and tired of old men trying to fuck her. So she takes out all her anger on the male character And then at the last moment leaves him hanging, literally and figuratively. Therefore the story should be told from the woman's pov

 

[LiterallyLiterate]

Have you thought about going darker? Perhaps the much younger female is sick and tired of old men trying to fuck her. So she takes out all her anger on the male character And then at the last moment leaves him hanging, literally and figuratively. Therefore the story should be told from the woman's pov

I have considered that angle, or at least something along those lines, but I don’t think I want to go that way. I usually don’t like stories where anger/aversion/resentment are main driving forces.
That’s not to say she can’t eventually catch on and maybe tease him a little, string him along to further her own desires. From his POV, the way I’m imagining it, that would drive him kinda crazy with lust, which could be fun to add in as spice.
I want to build up a tension, at first from him towards her, but in the later stages between them both, I think.

Some time ago, we had a discussion about shifting POV’s, where it was mentioned the idea if doing separate chapters in ordere to give both sides from a first-person POV. Maybe I’ll brush off the dust on that one and consider that for this story.

 

[SmilingLez]

I have considered that angle, or at least something along those lines, but I don’t think I want to go that way. I usually don’t like stories where anger/aversion/resentment are main driving forces.
That’s not to say she can’t eventually catch on and maybe tease him a little, string him along to further her own desires. From his POV, the way I’m imagining it, that would drive him kinda crazy with lust, which could be fun to add in as spice.
I want to build up a tension, at first from him towards her, but in the later stages between them both, I think.

Some time ago, we had a discussion about shifting POV’s, where it was mentioned the idea if doing separate chapters in ordere to give both sides from a first-person POV. Maybe I’ll brush off the dust on that one and consider that for this story.

I did something similar with my prose Tongue, Meet Flesh. I wrote 2 parts - from the flesh's point of view and from the tongue's point of view.