Grief

You're a tough one Grace. I'm glad you felt like you could share this with us.
 
Graceanne I just read this thread and I'm shocked about the point human cruelty can get . But one thing I am sure , as you can feel your friend she can feel you , and besides she wouldn't like your grief and your pain for her senseless and rationally inconceivable death , she knows the deep bound and affect you shared and I am sure , if one day you should be of any help for her kid she will find a way to let you know how to intervene and help . So dear if of any relief have the awareness that her memory you keep deeply in your heart gives her confort cause someway she does know you was and still are her friend and moreover you are the true friend she can rely on if her kid should be in danger , cause I'm sure she knows you'd fight for the child's safety .

I believe in life after death and I believe in a form of communication which goes beyond rational mind boundaries, and I believe that she knowing there is a so special person who remember her so strongly and worries with a such pure heart about her little girl , is allowed to rest in heaven , where she surely is .

I know it hurts , but be sure that your pain is not vain cause your angel feels you and she gets peace knowing you, her best friend , are there with your loyalty and your sense of justice besides your prayers .

A great hug for you . b :rose:
 
Marquis said:
You're a tough one Grace. I'm glad you felt like you could share this with us.

Thanks. I didn't really want to, I'm a pretty private person, but it got to the point where I had to tell someone! It was eating at me. And it's not fair that she should die, and no one know about her, or what happened. She deserved better. I guess to some she's just another statistic of abuse, but she was more to me. She was my friend. Her name was Ella. She had three children, Sarah, Macy and Mallory. She was 22 years old, and worked at a bank to help provide for them. She was in colledge when she got pregnant with Sarah to become a graphic artist. She had two sisters and two brothers. Her oldest brother named his first daughter after her, and that was even before she died. She was such a wonderful person that her brother named his first child after her! (That embarrassed her to no end. It was so funny, I just laughed when she found out that he was gonna do that. LOL) She was vegan, meat would literally make her puke. She raised money to help children with leukemia, because her sister had leukemia, and so it was a cause close to her heart. When she miscarried Nathaniel she cried. She called me after the D&C and cried to me. The only thing she wanted in life was to take care of her children and be loved. She didn't ask for a lot and she got nothing.
 
graceanne said:
Thanks. I didn't really want to, I'm a pretty private person, but it got to the point where I had to tell someone! It was eating at me. And it's not fair that she should die, and no one know about her, or what happened. She deserved better. I guess to some she's just another statistic of abuse, but she was more to me. She was my friend. Her name was Ella. She had three children, Sarah, Macy and Mallory. She was 22 years old, and worked at a bank to help provide for them. She was in colledge when she got pregnant with Sarah to become a graphic artist. She had two sisters and two brothers. Her oldest brother named his first daughter after her, and that was even before she died. She was such a wonderful person that her brother named his first child after her! (That embarrassed her to no end. It was so funny, I just laughed when she found out that he was gonna do that. LOL) She was vegan, meat would literally make her puke. She raised money to help children with leukemia, because her sister had leukemia, and so it was a cause close to her heart. When she miscarried Nathaniel she cried. She called me after the D&C and cried to me. The only thing she wanted in life was to take care of her children and be loved. She didn't ask for a lot and she got nothing.

I believe that God calls us all for different reasons. I don't get religious often, but when it comes to something as mysterious as death, I don't think we have much choice but to have faith in divinity.
 
Marquis said:
I believe that God calls us all for different reasons. I don't get religious often, but when it comes to something as mysterious as death, I don't think we have much choice but to have faith in divinity.

I agree. I think everyone has a calling. I just don't like mine. I think, quite often, God puts people in my life cause they have a 'broken wing', and I'm there to help ease their burden. I think God put me in Ella's life to help ease her onto the next world.
 
graceanne said:
I agree. I think everyone has a calling. I just don't like mine. I think, quite often, God puts people in my life cause they have a 'broken wing', and I'm there to help ease their burden. I think God put me in Ella's life to help ease her onto the next world.

I often wonder what my purpose is. I try to do the right thing, but it often seems like I am only able to bring others pain. It's enough to make me want to isolate myself in a big way.
 
Marquis said:
I often wonder what my purpose is. I try to do the right thing, but it often seems like I am only able to bring others pain. It's enough to make me want to isolate myself in a big way.

I'm sorry. I wish I could help, but I don't know you well enough to have any clue. I've always, since I was a teen, known what mine is. What are your gifts? Not everyone is meant to help people. Your gift might come when you become a lawyer. We might not agree with eachother politically, but I do believe that if you became a politician that you'd do your best to improve things. Just because you'd go about doing it differently than I would, doesn't make your contributions any less important.
 
Marquis said:
I often wonder what my purpose is. I try to do the right thing, but it often seems like I am only able to bring others pain. It's enough to make me want to isolate myself in a big way.

You have to change your perspective. You have a unique ability to tell people things as they are, regardless of the consequences. That's a wonderful gift.
 
jasonlf said:
You have to change your perspective. You have a unique ability to tell people things as they are, regardless of the consequences. That's a wonderful gift.

Yeah, I can't tell you how popular it makes me.
 
Marquis said:
Yeah, I can't tell you how popular it makes me.

It's not a popularity contest, though. If it is then heaven will be populated with third tier actresses.
 
Netzach said:
It's not a popularity contest, though. If it is then heaven will be populated with third tier actresses.

My word. *shudders* Don't talk like that, you'll give me nightmares.
 
graceanne said:
My word. *shudders* Don't talk like that, you'll give me nightmares.

It *is* a creepy thought, no? Luckily I don't think it's a popularity contest.
 
Netzach said:
It *is* a creepy thought, no? Luckily I don't think it's a popularity contest.

Well if it is, I don't think any of the apostiles are their. They were pretty unpopular, it's why they got killed.
 
Marquis said:
Yeah, I can't tell you how popular it makes me.

You'd be my first choice for a friend.

I tend to surround myself with brutally honest people. Hell, it's how I quit smoking. One of them got upset about it, and made me feel badly.
 
jasonlf said:
You'd be my first choice for a friend.

I tend to surround myself with brutally honest people. Hell, it's how I quit smoking. One of them got upset about it, and made me feel badly.

I generally prefer honest people, too. At least you don't have to spend all your time wondering if they're saying what they think, or just bull shitting you.
 
No matter how honest you are though, people will always see ulterior motives.
 
Marquis said:
No matter how honest you are though, people will always see ulterior motives.

Not every person, just the ones you've had the displeasure of being near.

I'd wager that it's not so much you chase people away, as much as the fact as you don't have a nose for good friends. (i.e., you can find a subbie woman, but not a best friend). Of course, I don't know you in r/l, so I could be full of shit. Wouldn't be the first time :p
 
Subbie women are my best friends.

I've given up on close male companions. I have a lot of associates and that's good enough for me.
 
Marquis said:
Subbie women are my best friends.

I've given up on close male companions. I have a lot of associates and that's good enough for me.

Jimmy V: "Never give up. Don't ever give up"
 
feel bad?

jasonlf said:
You'd be my first choice for a friend.

I tend to surround myself with brutally honest people. Hell, it's how I quit smoking. One of them got upset about it, and made me feel badly.


you have to go a lonnnnnnnnng way to get ME to feel bad about anything like smoking. no no. this lil gray duck does as he pleases thank you world.

hehe

the wolf.
 
It's 1:45 and I'm up with a lump the size of texas in my stomach. :( A friends son is dead. I need to talk about it, but I can't post details without her permission, and I've only talked to her SO.
 
I'll be up for another hour or so, Grace and Yahoo's messenger under the name Vixandra_si if you want to talk.
*hugs*
 
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