Great Writers; Bad Porn

[dr_mabeuse]

We're not the only ones writing bad porn. Here's a link to the Bad Sex awards where you'll find blue excerpts by Paul Theroux and John Updike. The other authors I don't know, but whew!

http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,6109,1099719,00.html

---dr.M.

 

[Quasimodem]

I think they were actually COMPETING, Doc!

If you plan to join in next year's competition, here are a few RULES for improving your porn from

"Top ten ... no 15 ... no 20 ... no 30 ... fuckit ... Cliches of alt.sex.stories."

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Quote:
__________________________________________
She is topping up your engine oil for the cross-country coming up. Your RPM is hitting a new high. To wait any longer would be to lose prime time...

She picks up a Bugatti's momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen's steady trot. Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she's eating up the road with all cylinders blazing. You lift her out. You want to try different kinds of fusion.
__________________________________________

Laughing, What that is not a good example of a metaphore?

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Quasimodem,

That had to be the best story ever it had all the things I have come to expect!

 

[Gary Chambers]

Cars, trains and machine guns

Well I must admit, I have been known to use 'piston' and 'cylinder' metaphors, and the need for a pit crew could help get enough characters on stage for an orgy. Ask Perdy, she's from Detroit, and says she associates large cars with small dicks. Maybe a Volkswagen metaphor conjures up visions of someone hung like a horse. It might also provide a segue into driving with one's air cooled engine in the rear. My favourite, however, remains trains entering tunnels. I really don't know how commuters manage to keep their decorum on the London Underground.

I also have a story I'm almost afraid to post in which a pair of revolutionaries enjoy sex in a machine gun nest. I did some research and found out it would be damned near impossible since operating the gun would be like operating a jackhammer, but I didn't let that stop me.