Great Characters of the Lit Life

[Rick DeVille]

Sparky Kronkite

One of the great characters, whatever the mood of the board, a Sparky post brings the whole board instantly down to the lowest common denominator and that takes a certain kind of genius. A random poster, Sparky posts, watches the shit and moves on. I suspect a low attention span.

Maybe we’ll see Laurel and Manu erect a shrine to his genius, a kind of Sparkys’ Greatest Hits Page so we can relive classics like:

Can you? Do you? Will you ever - take a dump at work?
This surprised me, Sparky is a New Yorker, I would have thought the question would have been ‘Will You Ever Take a Dump in the Street? A little more appropriate but he went with the safe option. Is this a sign of a more gentler, refined Sparky?

Midget Porn????
A plea for help

Midget Porn???? Where can I find some?
Dwarfs fucking dwarfs? Mini-fisting? Small bodies - massive members? High forheads, buckteeth, flaired nostrils and stubby appendages - nakedly flailing in a sweaty pike of midget spunk?

This generated such a response (2 pages – huge effort for a Kronkite post) and Sparky, gave full engagement! Obviously excited about the investment potential of a Midget Porn Movie, (location to be decided but Little Rock is a no-brainer).

Just too many to mention:
Ladies? How strong is your pussy? Can you......
Classic, generated debate and brought back some surreal memories.
Philosophically cool, technically marginal, artistically antiquated........the.......
Discussion on ‘The Grateful Dead’, a coherent, expansive Sparky that did not get 1 reply, not one and only 7 views. The tragedy of typecasting.
Just curious? Afro-Am "black" dick? How many you white girls had some?
Straight to the ‘bone’ of the matter. Did you notice that no guys posted here? Just where was Marxist when we needed him to destroy this urban myth?
The 'Pole' poll. Your favorite?
A frivolous Sparky, so frivolous I didn’t even see anything funny here at all. Just too fucking deep for me.
Form over function? What good's yer own crack?
An interesting discussion on how your ass works. Doctor Sparky is in the house.

There is no post like a Sparky post – Character of the Lit Board

 

[riff]

LMAO

 

[sexy-girl]

everyone knows sparky kicks butt


i think if you really understood every single one of his posts you would be the smartest man alive (and probably in a mental home too)


sparky is another person that makes up the wonderful charm of literotica and he often leaves me feeling a bit naughty that i enjoy his posts

 

[TN_Vixen]

Rick

honey.. you may be too much of a newbie to remember Sparky in his heyday here at Lit. He used to have the "Morning Post" every day and all of us Literoticans used to love to post to his morning posts and grade ourselves on the ole' spark-o-meter.

Sparks has much history here at Lit. We all love him. He may be crude, rude and socially unacceptable at times, but hell.. aren't we all?

Sparky and midgets & nuns and porn and bowel movements have been around for quite some time. Get used to it or move on, darlin. You obviously lack the same type of character for most of us here to stomach.

 

[freakygirl]

Wasn't Rick complimenting Sparkys posts?

That's how I took it anyway.


I like Sparky. I wish I wouldn't have chickened out on calling him.

I like Sparky's threads, I might not post to all of them, but I always read them.

 

[Problem Child]

Hey, let's all POST LIKE SPARKY!

Here, I'll start...



Hey Ladies, did ya ever want to cram a cucumber...

UP yer cunt?

I'm not talking about a little gerkin, or a string been..

I mean a big....zukkini...like 2 feet long....just rammin it in and outta yer puss, gettin it all stretched out, and feelin' good...

Yeah, and then when it's rammed all the way up next to yer overys, take a turkey baister, and put the bulb part....on the kitchen floor

AND SIT ON IT! let that thing shove up inta yer colon and then...

squeeze that bulb...suckin' that shit outta yer ass...

the feeling would be incredibul, don'tcha think? If ya say no, yer a liar...then

get a bowl

and squirt that poop in abowl...just ta see what it looks like...

Sniff it- just ta let yerself know yer alive.....

 

[Rick DeVille]

Re: Rick

honey.. ..yadayadayadayadayadayadayadayadayadayadayadayadayadayadayadayada...to stomach.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

Then again, there’s probably a fucking lot of things in life you don’t get.

 

[Mistress]

Hey, let's all POST LIKE SPARKY!

Here, I'll start...



Hey Ladies, did ya ever want to cram a cucumber...

UP yer cunt?

I'm not talking about a little gerkin, or a string been..

I mean a big....zukkini...like 2 feet long....just rammin it in and outta yer puss, gettin it all stretched out, and feelin' good...

Yeah, and then when it's rammed all the way up next to yer overys, take a turkey baister, and put the bulb part....on the kitchen floor

AND SIT ON IT! let that thing shove up inta yer colon and then...

squeeze that bulb...suckin' that shit outta yer ass...

the feeling would be incredibul, don'tcha think? If ya say no, yer a liar...then

get a bowl

and squirt that poop in abowl...just ta see what it looks like...

Sniff it- just ta let yerself know yer alive.....

I almost pissed my pants reading that....

 

[Mensa]

Ooooohhhh! Scary!

I've often suspected that Sparky is in reality, Howard Stern's evil twin. Think about that for a moment.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Re: Re: Rick

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

Then again, there’s probably a fucking lot of things in life you don’t get.

Oh! yeah, you're right.. like how some of the women on this board find you the least bit attractive. Clue me in, big boy. I'm completely lost on that score.

 

[Cheyenne]

I like Sparky. I wish I wouldn't have chickened out on calling him.

I did call him. He was busy and never called back.

 

[Rick DeVille]

Re: Re: Re: Rick

Oh! yeah, you're right.. like how some of the women on this board find you the least bit attractive. Clue me in, big boy. I'm completely lost on that score.

It’s called taste, baby. The only taste you’ve got is in your mouth.

Now, why don’t you put me on ignore like a nice little girl and fuck off.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

everyone knows sparky kicks butt


i think if you really understood every single one of his posts you would be the smartest man alive (and probably in a mental home too)

hay I understand his posts
then again.... umm... er... never mind.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Rick

It’s called taste, baby. The only taste you’ve got is in your mouth.

Now, why don’t you put me on ignore like a nice little girl and fuck off.

ah, such wit! I should've succumbed long ago to your charm, darling.

You aren't worthy of ignore. You just...... aren't worthy, period.

Now, walk away sugarpie. We both know you're man enough to do so.

 

[miles]

bump

I love this place. I do love it. God help me, I love it so.

Almost as good as Blind Date.

 

[Rick DeVille]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Rick

ah, such (subsitute usual bullshit here)so.

Sorry, baby, I only walk away from people I respect, people with wit and intelligence.

I’ve heard there are some people in Tennessee that have those qualities but obviously you’re not one of them.

Now, if I throw a stick, will you leave?

 

[lavender]

 

[Rick DeVille]

She completely misread the thread (I’m being kind here as I think she’s a fucking moron that just didn’t get it) and jumped up onto her pedestal with a broomstick up her ass and lectured me in an attempt to patronize.

Anybody that attacks me is fair game, can I help it if I’m a Rottweiler and she’s a fluffy white brainless rabbit?

But Lav, I agree, let’s do a restart. I’ll post take two

 

[lavender]

 

[DulceCrema]

Damn! that's funny...

 

[Rick DeVille]

How about you stop insulting Vixen and start the new thread? Vixen is one of the most amazing ladies at Lit. Too bad you haven't gotten to know her, but I bet that's by her choice. Personalities clash, that doesn't make the people any less than. You're an old fart, shouldn't you know this by this point in your life?

Yes, start the thread. I'll try to post a few times.

Rick's Rule
You attack me, I attack back - that's how I got to be an old fart.

 

[cymbidia]

I like Sparky. I wish I wouldn't have chickened out on calling him.

I called him.
I got an answering machine, a woman's answering machine.
(Sparky explained it all later, and in public, as is his habit.)




BTW, you did a good job here, lavy. That kinda line is a tough one to take but you pulled it off admirably.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Sparky Kronkite

Just too many to mention:
Ladies? How strong is your pussy? Can you......
Classic, generated debate and brought back some surreal memories.
Philosophically cool, technically marginal, artistically antiquated........the.......
Discussion on ‘The Grateful Dead’, a coherent, expansive Sparky that did not get 1 reply, not one and only 7 views. The tragedy of typecasting.
Just curious? Afro-Am "black" dick? How many you white girls had some?
Straight to the ‘bone’ of the matter. Did you notice that no guys posted here? Just where was Marxist when we needed him to destroy this urban myth?
The 'Pole' poll. Your favorite?
A frivolous Sparky, so frivolous I didn’t even see anything funny here at all. Just too fucking deep for me.
Form over function? What good's yer own crack?
An interesting discussion on how your ass works. Doctor Sparky is in the house.

Drier than a White Sands summer, Rick, but sometime's you're brilliantly on. Cheers.

Now having actually *finished* the thread, I'm with miles. Sometimes I fucking love this place. Now *that* was an entertaining read--the whole looped thing.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Ricki- baby-sugarpie

don't get me wrong. I DO think you're an ass. I totally misread your post BECAUSE of that fact. You pride yourself on being one, why stop the rollercoaster now?

 

[Rick DeVille]

Re: Ricki- baby-sugarpie

don't get me wrong. I DO think you're an ass. I totally misread your post BECAUSE of that fact. You pride yourself on being one, why stop the rollercoaster now?

Edited as fools continue to open their fucking mouths