Gotta new story out...
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Excellent!!
Real characters, good dialogue (now, if you had made it "Butt-ah-fucka, Texas" the sense of the Italian would have made it perfect
).
The flashback sequence added an intriguing dimension; what are her true feelings for him? It took this story way beyond the typicial 'non-consent' stereotypes and made it truly thought-provoking. Your powers of description, both as to characters and the natural environment, continue to grow. It made it very easy to steep myself into that hot sultry night and see the action.
Real characters, good dialogue (now, if you had made it "Butt-ah-fucka, Texas" the sense of the Italian would have made it perfect
).The flashback sequence added an intriguing dimension; what are her true feelings for him? It took this story way beyond the typicial 'non-consent' stereotypes and made it truly thought-provoking. Your powers of description, both as to characters and the natural environment, continue to grow. It made it very easy to steep myself into that hot sultry night and see the action.
Sonia_de_Beaumanoir
Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2001
- Posts
- 95
very nice
I love the dialog and the setting. The part about writing erotic fiction and posting it anonymously on the internet made me wonder if this were not somewhat auto-biographical.
It seemed to me that this was not a true "Non Consent" story, and I wonder if you missed out on readers who might not browse that category. I for one never do, but I found it through the board.
I love the dialog and the setting. The part about writing erotic fiction and posting it anonymously on the internet made me wonder if this were not somewhat auto-biographical.
It seemed to me that this was not a true "Non Consent" story, and I wonder if you missed out on readers who might not browse that category. I for one never do, but I found it through the board.
