Got a vasectomy...

[pink]

I know this may sound silly but I think everyone should have 1 child. I never thought of myself as maternal, never really liked kids and then I had Jennifer. She changed my whole world and I wound up being a good mother. Now that she is an adult, she amazes me. Strong and caring and for some reason, she loves me a lot. We are very close.

I guess I just wish this for everyone.

 

[Disgustipated]

If Rory impregnated Lady Funk, Baby Funk would still be a dumbass. And that's no knock on Rory.

 

[Not Normal]

I do understand where you're coming from. But I had zero desire to have children, or take care of them - not even an ounce of anticipatory joy despite my getting older. I'd given the notion both time and circumstances to appeal to me further, to no avail. I can guarantee you that I had arrived at the point where I was never going to have children even if it meant keeping my manhood on permanent lockdown and being miserable to ensure that was the case. No child will ever have me as a reluctant father, which would have been unacceptable in my book. Nor will any child of mine be exposed to the idiocy of the general populous. Be that as it may, I'm okay with it being termed a "selfish" decision by some, though - doesn't bother me in the least.

Per the idea of depopulation being pushed hard: in some areas, yes. But the predominant society around me aggressively rewards people for popping out children. Like, every day, all the time.

These are pretty much my thoughts as well.

On my phone so this will be more brief than it should be. You have no desire to raise a child because you are a man. What you feel is normal, and does not mean you should shut down your genes. It means you do what men have done for thousands of years : mate with a woman who wants to raise your children. Women puck up the slack on this... It is basic biology!!!

You're just an asshole.

You getting a vasectomy does not prevent your wife from getting pregnant. That's the myth we tell you.

I prevents YOU from getting her pregnant.

and so are you

I know this may sound silly but I think everyone should have 1 child. I never thought of myself as maternal, never really liked kids and then I had Jennifer. She changed my whole world and I wound up being a good mother. Now that she is an adult, she amazes me. Strong and caring and for some reason, she loves me a lot. We are very close.

I guess I just wish this for everyone.

While I think it's great that raising Jennifer was good for you and her, that doesn't mean everyone should do it. Its similar to saying "I didn't think I'd like heroin, but it was great and everyone should try it." MANY people shouldn't EVER even consider having a child. Many that have them shouldn't. People with no desire to have them shouldn't be expected to have kids anyway because "its so amazing" or for familial obligations. Personally, I think if a person is even 1% unsure if they want a kid or not, they should default to NOT doing it.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

These are pretty much my thoughts as well.

You're just an asshole.

and so are you

While I think it's great that raising Jennifer was good for you and her, that doesn't mean everyone should do it. Its similar to saying "I didn't think I'd like heroin, but it was great and everyone should try it." MANY people shouldn't EVER even consider having a child. Many that have them shouldn't. People with no desire to have them shouldn't be expected to have kids anyway because "its so amazing" or for familial obligations. Personally, I think if a person is even 1% unsure if they want a kid or not, they should default to NOT doing it.

So your woman emasculated you too? Give her a high 5 for me.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

But I'd never make a woman raise my child by herself, ever. It's at the top of my "Things I'd Never Do" list.

You can't "make" a woman do anything.

People like you are the best chance for our future via your genes, and you have shut that down. As i noted your father was a great man. As probably was his father. As was your family line for generations. You may have sired a great leader, a game changer, given your genes. I disagree with your decision is all I am saying.

We need you on this planet, rory. we need your offspring. they can make a difference.

 

[allateup]

Blackenstein's Wormfood Chronicles.

 

[magicalmoments]

You getting a vasectomy does not prevent your wife from getting pregnant. That's the myth we tell you.

I prevents YOU from getting her pregnant.

We were always careful to ensure her lovers also had vascectomies.

 

[LadyVer]

Congrats, Rory. I tried to talk my ex into doing this after a stillbirth, a few miscarriages, and two c-sections. I think he was insecure, or holding out for wife #2.

 

[evesdream]

On my phone so this will be more brief than it should be. You have no desire to raise a child because you are a man. What you feel is normal, and does not mean you should shut down your genes. It means you do what men have done for thousands of years : mate with a woman who wants to raise your children. Women puck up the slack on this... It is basic biology!!!

You can't "make" a woman do anything.

People like you are the best chance for our future via your genes, and you have shut that down. As i noted your father was a great man. As probably was his father. As was your family line for generations. You may have sired a great leader, a game changer, given your genes. I disagree with your decision is all I am saying.

We need you on this planet, rory. we need your offspring. they can make a difference.

I disagree with your genetic argument. Great people are made, not born. Beyond his great looks, Rory can't pass on what is essentially his luck and values if he's not there to father those qualities. If people who don't want to bear their own children want to try to raise great people, (also never a guarantee no matter what the "stock"), they can adopt.

 

[evesdream]

I know this may sound silly but I think everyone should have 1 child. I never thought of myself as maternal, never really liked kids and then I had Jennifer. She changed my whole world and I wound up being a good mother. Now that she is an adult, she amazes me. Strong and caring and for some reason, she loves me a lot. We are very close.

I guess I just wish this for everyone.

You were suited for parenthood in unexpected ways, but you must know that not everyone who has kids has this experience. I do expect that having a child is a transformative experience, something almost impossible to describe to someone who's never had it, (a lot like the experience of grieving). It doesn't bring out the best in everyone, though.

 

[pete]

I've been trying to convince my husband to partake in a vasectomy for some time. I guess I need to work on my salesmanship.

i bet you're pretty convincing, when you want to be.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

We were always careful to ensure her lovers also had vascectomies.

You're not enough lover for her that she needs to have other lovers? You do know...or maybe you don't, vasectomies don't prevent std's. It's right there on the label. She has her own personal stable of geldings to ride on. Another high 5.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

I know this may sound silly but I think everyone should have 1 child. I never thought of myself as maternal, never really liked kids and then I had Jennifer. She changed my whole world and I wound up being a good mother. Now that she is an adult, she amazes me. Strong and caring and for some reason, she loves me a lot. We are very close.

I guess I just wish this for everyone.

It just doesn't work this way for everyone. Unfortunately, given the rates of child abuse in our country alone, there are many many people who should never have become parents.

At the same time, so many children are in foster care and group homes and would love to be welcomed into a forever home. Biological similarity isn't a prerequisite for the bond Pink describes.

If only it did. Imagine the need for no child protection services/social service intervention in to family life.

I think its better to regret not having had children, than to regret having had them.

I was thinking something along the exact same lines.

 

[pete]

I think its better to regret not having had children, than to regret having had them.

that's pretty one-sided, innit?

the difference, of course, is that in the latter case the kid at least has the opportunity to be an agent of positive change in the world, to create beauty, to inspire others, to be the one true love for someone else out there.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

that's pretty one-sided, innit?

the difference, of course, is that in the latter case the kid at least has the opportunity to be an agent of positive change in the world, to create beauty, to inspire others, to be the one true love for someone else out there.

Did the wife you cheated on make you get a vasectomy?

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

So do all other kids in the world. The unborn child has no missed opportunities. The child who knows he or she is a regret carries some burdens of it. I have a fair relationship with my elderly parents but I can never forget that I was told that it was probably a mistake to have me ( though I was planned) and the various reasons why. I have a happy life sure, and have found great love in my own life, but there is no doubt that lack of parental 'adoration' or unconditional love can be hard to get past. ( not insurmountable, but hard).

There are PLENTY of children in the world to love. Plenty. Plenty who can achieve things, be the 'agents of positive change' given the right opportunities and experiences, ones who can create beauty, and be inspirational, love and be loved. Why should they have to be our 'own'? As a childless adult one can still have positive impact and input in to children's lives, if one chooses .

So...you're prolife?

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Nope.

Figures. Hypocrite.

 

[pink]

I know you all are right and not everyone is cut out for parenthood. It just makes me sad that some people are missing out on the connection that Jennifer and I have developed. sheesh Even when I get sick, she wants to go to the Dr with me. I am so lucky, I must have done something right. Adoption is a great way to have a wonderful child, someone mentioned that and I totally agree.


I respect anyone's decision to not have children, I really do. I just never thought I could have such a fulfilling relationship with my own child.

 

[allateup]

i bet you're pretty convincing, when you want to be.

Look at you, you sly, pandering dog: can't help but keep sniffing up more legs to hump behind your wife's back.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Look at you, you sly, pandering dog: can't help but keep sniffing up more legs to hump behind your wife's back.

He's doing what you would be doing if you were less of a male asshole and didn't have a shitty attitude towards women's sexual self-agency, huh?

http://38.media.tumblr.com/89f73abceef0f9283ab72d9aefe2f432/tumblr_mkfq4mvnzm1qgf1i8o1_500.gif

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Why hypocritical here? My stance is that the unborn child has no missed opportunities because they weren't born. Its better to be wanted than born and not wanted or be well provided for or various other things I think. I am also pro euthanasia.

Though, I also think I have not met a person who is not in some way hypocritical. . I very much include myself in that. I try Nd work on it, and at least acknowledge it.

Being aborted does limit one's later life possibilities.

"Its better to be wanted than born..." You must have a tremendous hole in your life to believe something like that.