Good insults?

[alisonwunderlnd]

anybody have a few or one that's kinda funny or that you like to use a lot?
i always rely on

ASSHOLE(not clever but genderless and one of my faves)

 

[omahaman2]

anybody have a few or one that's kinda funny or that you like to use a lot?
i always rely on

ASSHOLE(not clever but genderless and one of my faves)

Funny Insults

Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

veryy goooddd!!! loved it!

 

[bashfull]

Buddy, you couldn't seduce melted butter in a glad bag...

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Buddy, you couldn't seduce melted butter in a glad bag...

HAHAHA,what i should have said to my ex-boyfriend.!

 

[de-valmont]

I hope that dress / suit is as cheap as it looks.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

I hope that dress / suit is as cheap as it looks.

LMAO,i needed that this morning,A bitchy ass UGLY woman just rolled her eyes at me for no reason!We were in the elevator,sexy guy gets on.I smile at him,he smiles at me says GOOD MORNING,,i giggle,..she rolls her eyes,Crusty fugly crow!

 

[lovelyboy]

"You know what I like about you ??? ................ Fuck All !!!"

 

[ImmortaleAmante]

There you go again mistaking me for someone who gives a shit.

Any part of you that touches me you're not getting back.

Next time you cross the road, don't look.

If you can't live without me how come you're not dead yet?

With the right amount of training you could get to be a nobody.

So you've changed your mind, does the new one work any better?

I don't mind you talking as long as you don't mind me not listening.


BUt one of my favourites is.........Being a bitch gives me more satisfaction than you ever could honey.

 

[EnglishAgain]

How about;

Wow, that's a great suit_______ (suit, haircut, blouse, whatever, but be really enthusiastic),
Of course it looks crap on you, but it's a really nice suit.

 

[shykittyme]

"Why don't you try using your head for more than keeping your ears apart!"

 

[smotherman]

Your so stupid, when you stepped on a cigar, you said "who turned on the heater?"

your so ugly that when you walked into the beachwater, the lifeguard called "RED TIDE!"

Go pee in an electrical outlet


Your so stupid, you thought Grape Nuts was an STD.

 

[irish_male]

On a gaming forum in response to a guy calling gamers geeks and that they should get laid, I recently used this:

Whoever you are sir, you're not grasping irony. Calling people here geeks is like telling people in Greenland its cold.

Oh and "get laid" whatever the hell does that mean. Telling some one to fuck a girl in a thread is mind numbing, it doesn't make you cool by any means. So yeh why don't you tell me I'm a nerd , and I should go get laid and so on (though you still don't get the irony of this you self serving anally retentive ass crumb).

Is ass crumb even a term?

 

[availableslave2u]

my favorite insult when i'm arguing with someone is to tell them to get their head out of their ass. i'm not sure that's an insult but it pisses my sister off to no end.

 

[boyz872003]

your face is so ugly that everyone prefers a barking dog instead of you!

 

[CaptainKirk]

Here's a couple I've used before...

"Did you have to practice all your life, or were you just naturally born an asshole?"

"I wonder if your driving would improve if I shoved that cell phone up your ass!" [bends down] "Can you hear me now?"

 

[lovemonster]

Fucktard.

My favourite insulting name. Just rolls off the tongue.

Mind you, I like goober and doofus...

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Fucktard.

My favourite insulting name. Just rolls off the tongue.

Mind you, I like goober and doofus...

fuck you, goober!

you're as ugly as a bulldog licking piss off a thistle. not you, LM, that was an insult for the tone of the thread.

 

[de-valmont]

One I heard from a barman in Soho.

Fuck off, you're boring the customers away.

 

[mark197205]

You're as much use as a fucking chocolate teapot..

 

[geronimo_appleby]

you're a waste of a good skin.

 

[de-valmont]

lol good one.

(To be said on the occasion of someone's death)

Best career move they ever made.

 

[mark197205]

You have a face only your mother could love...

 

[sexy_legs]

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

 

[de-valmont]

Why don't you die in a fire, at least you'd have done something interesting in your life?