Good Clean Fun

[Dar~]

This is a thread dedicate to entirely clean jokes.

My Favorite:

person one: So, Have you ever heard of Chirpies?

Person two: No.

Person one: Yeah, it's a canarial disease. Pretty much untweetable.





I love that joke.

 

[Dar~]

Bump, I am sure you guys have some . . . Please

 

[kendo1]

What's green and goes up and down?

 

[logophile]

What do you call a dehydrated Frenchman?

Pierre.

(Say it out loud. It helps.)

 

[My I]

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a
fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly
Gates waiting for St.Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting,
they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked.
Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sat and waited for an
answer. Hours passed and the couple were still waiting.

So as they waited, they discussed whether IF they were allowed to get
married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"

After a further long wait, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat
bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in
Heaven".

Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things
don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me long enough to find a
preacher up here! And now you want me to find a LAWYER?"

 

[SeaCat]

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a
fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly
Gates waiting for St.Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting,
they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked.
Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sat and waited for an
answer. Hours passed and the couple were still waiting.

So as they waited, they discussed whether IF they were allowed to get
married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"

After a further long wait, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat
bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in
Heaven".

Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things
don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me long enough to find a
preacher up here! And now you want me to find a LAWYER?"

LOLOL I love it.

Have you heard the one abut the three white horses and the mud puddle? Ahhhh, it's to dirty to tell here.

Cat

 

[maggot420]

Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

A: He was dead.

Q: Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree?

A: He was pinned to the first squirrel.

Q: Why did the third and final squirrel fall out of the tree?

A: Peer pressure.

 

[Guest]

OK - my daughter's joke when she was four.

Why did the gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot!