Going pro

[ApprenticeApril]

As someone who has escorted, I thought I might be able to give my side.
I agree with most of the posters. There definitely does have to be some sort of a connection between the two, for me anyway. Granted, I haven't had a large number of clients, but I have never once felt any negative feelings towards them because of their decision.
In my opinion, it seems like it was something you were comfortable with doing. The fact that you're disease free and don't seem to be the cheating type, it shouldn't be a problem. Keep in mind that dating is a quest to find someone right for you, so whoever she may be should be able handle decisions you've made in your past. We've all done things we're not 100% able to readily admit, and hopefully you can find someone that will appreciate all of you.

 

[A_Kefka]

I think the reason someone might have a problem with this depends on how they view sex. If they see it as purely physical gratification then they probably don't have an issue with it. But many view sex as something more, something that should require an emotional and spiritual connection. A physical expression of love. If that is how they view it then they likely would have a problem with it, if for no other reason than it would mean that you don't see sex the same way they do.

 

[working_girl]

I think the reason someone might have a problem with this depends on how they view sex. If they see it as purely physical gratification then they probably don't have an issue with it. But many view sex as something more, something that should require an emotional and spiritual connection. A physical expression of love. If that is how they view it then they likely would have a problem with it, if for no other reason than it would mean that you don't see sex the same way they do.

So which is worse? For a guy to utterly objectify and masturbate selfishly in the rented orifice of a prostitute or for him to seek a short term emotional/spiritual connection with someone who sells companionship and sex for a living?

This is not all aimed at you AK, these are just my thoughts on the thread in general.

Is it an emotional/spiritual connection if a guy picks a drunk or even a reasonably sober random girl up from a bar? Who are you to say that a connection cannot possibly be made within the parameters of an escort/client meeting? To assume that the exchange of cash renders any emotional connection impossible is incredibly naive. Since I've popped up on Lit, guys have pm'd me to reminisce about an encounter with, or period of regular contact with an escort that remains a treasured and happy memory. Those who have never had the slightest contact with the industry see only the sensationalised docudrama crap that modern media pimps to the masses to titillate and scandalise. The reality can be and is often quite different.

This is not even really about how a person views sex. The question that should be asked here is why should seeing an escort somehow be worse than any other encounter if it is in the past? What right does a new partner have to drag up stuff like that, seize upon it and make a guy feel bad about it weeks, months or even years after the event? There is no 'type' of guy who uses escorts and I would argue that clients' views on sex are as varied as they are themselves as a demographic. Guys use escorts for all sorts of different reasons and not all of them are reprehensible or indicative of a low opinion of women or perverted view of sex and relationships.

If a guy saw escorts while in a relationship then that would indicate a cavalier attitude to love, sex and relationships in general, that I agree on. If he was single however, as the OP was, I really don't see it as being more or less morally questionable than a one night stand, S&M orgy or transatlantic webcam session in the wider scheme of things. Most people manage to do something they're not proud of as a sexually active adult. As great mistakes go, safe sex with a clean, professional escort is the lesser of many evils.

 

[romantic_always]

Prostitution is an issue people will disagree on forever-is it "degrading" and "wrong", or is it "just a business"?

I think it all depends on the way it was carried out- a brothel or bordello, where the women are treated properly and are clean is one thing, but finding a woman on the street who may be supporting a drug habit or unclean is another.

Personally, to be 100% honest, I wouldn't be able to be with a man who had gone to someone for sex in this way, BUT, that is my personal opinion. I wouldn't criticize them or think any less of them, I would just not be comfortable with it in my relationship, even if it was in the past.