Going back and forth between two scenes

[PerilEyes]

I'm looking to write a section of text that goes back and forth between the activities of two characters. The point is to highlight and juxtapose the disparity of moods between them. It's nothing I've done before I think, so I'm wondering how to pull it off so it doesn't get confusing. Anyone have any insights? Do I just insert a break between scenes (a * or whatever)? And anyone have examples of stories I can look at? Thanks.

 

[sr71plt]

Yes, sectionalize, and you could put the name of the character giving the perspective in as a head for each section.

 

[Hypoxia]

Sectionalize, yes. I always separate major scene changes. Add the character's name as a header if you use 1st-person POV -- readers will otherwise be fatally confused. But shifting 3rd-person accounts need not be so formal. You must only be clear about who is involved.

***
Denny looked over the bloody mess. "Damn," he muttered, "this is harder than I thought." He reached again for the bucket and mop.

***
It was Susie's turn to cry. "Why can't you just take it like a man," she sobbed. She always hated this stage of breaking up.

-----
Yada yada.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

A technique I use is section breaks, and diving right into dialogue without identifying the speaker right off. It forces the reader to consult what they know about the characters and make guesses. That draws them deeper in. Usually a few sentences in I clarify who is who. Overused, which I might be guilty of, it's probably annoying, but I like the immediacy of the flow.
---
"You know I hate this."

"And you know I don't care,"

Susan sighed. "No, really? John, you're being incredibly unfair. And not just to me. She-"

"Leave her out of this."

It means my characters sigh a lot or otherwise portray emotion, to give me a hook to put in names, but most of my characters are a little dramatic anyway.

 

[lovecraft68]

It means my characters sigh a lot or otherwise portray emotion, to give me a hook to put in names, but most of my characters are a little dramatic anyway.

I do this a lot. They're sighing, raising their eyebrows, frowning, they're always doing something.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

A technique I have found useful...

**** Marie

scene with Marie being the narrator

**** Sally

scene with Sally being the narrator


Both scenes would be from the POV of the world as they see it. I have done this in several stories. There is one up here a Lit - Warrior's Choice - toward the end the pov changes to someone else as the protag is away.

 

[PerilEyes]

A technique I use is section breaks, and diving right into dialogue without identifying the speaker right off. It forces the reader to consult what they know about the characters and make guesses. That draws them deeper in. Usually a few sentences in I clarify who is who. Overused, which I might be guilty of, it's probably annoying, but I like the immediacy of the flow.
---
"You know I hate this."

"And you know I don't care,"

Susan sighed. "No, really? John, you're being incredibly unfair. And not just to me. She-"

"Leave her out of this."

It means my characters sigh a lot or otherwise portray emotion, to give me a hook to put in names, but most of my characters are a little dramatic anyway.

Thanks! I like that approach. Appreciated to everyone for the responses!

 

[49greg]

Good info here, and it made good reading. Thanks everyone for sharing.

 

[Gorza]

Good info here, and it made good reading. Thanks everyone for sharing.

Yeah, some really good thoughts here. I think changing 1st-person POV is a really awkward gear change, even if it's flagged up clearly.

I've got one story where I write a rather ill-fated sex scene followed by two short sections (separated by ****), which describe each character's differing path before the sex scene. It means you have the immediacy of jumping into the sex, that sex raises a question about what's going on, and the differing POVs follow.