GM vs. Bill Gates *snicker*

whispering_surrender

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I had to share this!

GM vs. Bill

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil,water,temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Whisp :rose:

Ps. My truck is a GM product. *grin*
 
whispering_surrender said:
I had to share this!

GM vs. Bill

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil,water,temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Whisp :rose:

Ps. My truck is a GM product. *grin*

ROFL!

Thanks for the morning giggles Whisp :)

-Colly
 
whispering_surrender said:
At a recent computer expo(COMDEX),

I thought you were a geek whisper, that story is at the very least 5 years old. (Please hand in your spectacles, retainer and pasty complexion at the door as you leave)

Still funny though.

Gauche
 
whispering_surrender said:
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

Laughing, typing reply and holding radio antenna are almost impossible to do at the same time.
Ps. My truck is a GM product. *grin*

It is also green. The Green Goddamn was a Ford product, but I know green when I see it.
 
Re: Re: GM vs. Bill Gates *snicker*

gauchecritic said:
I thought you were a geek whisper, that story is at the very least 5 years old. (Please hand in your spectacles, retainer and pasty complexion at the door as you leave)

Still funny though.

Gauche

I never said it was new, just felt the need to share today when I re-ran across it. *grin*

Whisp :rose:

Ps. That is a "creamy" complexion, not pasty! Harumph.
 
Hmmmmm

Hmmm think I'll go and buy a free Linux instead.
 
GM vs. Bill Gates

True story... I'm sittting here typing, computer fully functional, with the "computer standby" window up on the screen telling me to wait while my computer gets ready to go on standby. Now go figure.... what if my car told me it was getting ready to go on standby? would that mean it was flying somewhere standby? gosh, i hope not! Darn thing anyway, it isn't that old. My friend just told me I need a new one.


~~flotus :rose:
 
Re: Re: GM vs. Bill Gates *snicker*

gauchecritic said:
I thought you were a geek whisper, that story is at the very least 5 years old. (Please hand in your spectacles, retainer and pasty complexion at the door as you leave)

Still funny though.

Gauche

It is an old story but it is still appropriate. Although computers have come a long way since the days of Univac, and cost a lot less, they are still not very reliable. Whenevere mine tells me I have something illegal, I look out the window for flashing lights. It also bugs me when I am informed that the floppy or CD or file I am trying to open is read only and I can't see it, even though I changed the data just the day before. :mad:
 
GM vs Bill Gates

Whenevere mine tells me I have something illegal, I look out the window for flashing lights.

LOL! That's funny! I know what you mean about 'read only' ..


flotus :rose:
 
GM vs Bill Gates

Whenevere mine tells me I have something illegal, I look out the window for flashing lights.

LOL! That's funny! I know what you mean about 'read only' ..


flotus :rose:
 
GM vs Bill Gates

Whenevere mine tells me I have something illegal, I look out the window for flashing lights.

LOL! That's funny! I know what you mean about 'read only' ..


flotus :rose:
 
I always liked that one. There was another, very like it, having to do with the contractors designing Bill Gates' house the way Microsoft designed Windows. Can't remember more than that every now and then you'd have to close all the windows in the house, go outside, throw the main breaker, then turn it back on.

If anyone has a copy of that one, I'd love to add it to my archives.

Dee
 
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