Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me

[Lighten_Up_People]

Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me (A Parody About Life as a Poet)

Gloom, despair and agony on me
I just got a comment,
from good ol’ YDD
Told me that my poem reeked
That it’s no good a’tall
Gloom, despair and agony on me…

Got a dozen comments
They said my works the best
Then YDD done read it
And said it flunked the test
Had no rhyme or meter,
My poem truly sucked
Since the Master said it.
I guess I’m truly fucked

Gloom, despair and agony on me
I just got a comment,
from good ol’ YDD
Told me that my poem reeked
That it’s no good a’tall
Gloom, despair and agony on me…

Now my life is over
I’ll never write again
Cause this single critic
Said my work was a sin
Tossed out all my pencils
Tore up my writing pad
Who cares the others loved it
YDD said it’s bad

Gloom, despair and agony on me
I just got a comment,
from good ol’ YDD
Told me that my poem reeked
That it’s no good a’tall
Gloom, despair and agony on me…



Now isn't it time to quit all this gloom and doom stuff and lighten up folks? Quit giving this jerk all this power over you all and move on to more fun things... like parody, satire, stories, poems or SEX!


(My apologies to the fine folks at Hee Haw for this bastardization of their song. But it seemed perfect for the occaision.)

Feel free to add your own verses.. about anything!

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Gloom, dispair and agony on me...
I'm so blind, I couldn't see,
so I lit a candle at night,
now I can see the light,
Gloom, despair and agony on me..

I got me two left feet,
couldn't tell that life was sweet,
got a little cranky and old,
didn't let out the best of my soul,
Gloom, despair and agony on me...

Lighten_up_people came to be,
now I think I can see,
but my dogs still got a flea,
my heads swoll up from a sting of a bee...
Gloom, despair and agony on me

deep dark depression had set in on me,
when I got a notice that I can't spell or read.
But then I got that special muse and energy,
then I cleaned my glasses and now I can see,
Gloom, despair and agony on me...


(Thanks for the fun Lighten_Up_People)

 

[Linbido]

Gloom, dispair and agony on me
trying to navigate, trying to see
through this messy two ways ranting spree
Gloom, dispair and agony on me

Me, dispair and agony on gloom
somehow stuck in a crowded room
while I look for a sturdy broom
Me, dispair and agony on gloom

Me, on gloom agony, and despair:
go on and rant if you really care
but it's not going anywhere
Me, on gloom agony, and despair

Oom, glospair end dagony in ma
pretty soon all I will answer is "blah"
if my brain doesn't get to rest on a spa
Oom, glospair end dagony in ma

 

[Kundalinguini]

Oom, glospair end dagony in ma

If I could stop laughing long enough to type "Thanks for the great laugh, Linbido," I would...but I can't. Moe is we.

 

[Zanzibar]

What fun! Lets see what I can come up with that's silly and in this theme.

Glue, a chair, and derriere makes three
A kid with some Elmer's, creates catastophe
Add a mom who's harried, and don't look where she sits
Glue, a chair, and derriere makes three

<laughs> this could definitely be fun.


Flueglehorns, trumpets and a trombone
With a couple bass drums and a xylophone
Add a dozen kidlets, let em all make noise
Flueglehorns, trumpets and a trombone


And a final verse just for the hell of it...


Onion rings, can really make you fart
Add a bowl of baked beans, they're good for your heart
Have a heaping helping, then just let er rip
Onion rings, can really make you fart

There's my dose of silliness in the morning!

 

[Liar]

I want some of whatever you guys are smoking.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

If I could stop laughing long enough to type "Thanks for the great laugh, Linbido," I would...but I can't. Moe is we.

Ditto

 

[Zanzibar]

Feeling silly and I saw this tread again. Decided to add some more silliness and fluffery.


Remember Fred and Yabba Dabba Do?
Working at the quarry, what else whas there to do?
Making big rocks small ones, with mighty dinosaur's
Remember Fred and Yabba Dabba Do?

Remember Frank and Do Be Do Be Do
With a voice like velvet, that made the ladies swoon
Now I am a singer and when I try to croon,
Remember Frank and Do Be Do Be Do

Remember back to "Whatsamatter You?"
Slap up side the head, what else would he do?
Wash your mouth with Ivory, for words you said unpure
Remember back to "Whatsamatter You?"

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Grinning like a possum

In light of the usual unwanted comments
by a certain needs to get a life critic.

Gloom dispair and agony on me,
I keep getting comments from a YDD.
I asked'em three times not litter me,
now gloom dispair and agony on YDD,

Gloom dispair and agony on me,
I took my poems to a man with a degree,
He said not to listen, to YDD
So gloom dispair and agony on YDD

Gloom dispair and agony on YDD,
I showed a professor some comments from he,
found out he can't spell either, yeah YDD,
Gloom dispair and agony on he.

Gloom dispair and agony on me,
Now I am laughing internaly
cause my professor said he's a wanta be,
gloom dispair and agony on YDD.

 

[Zanzibar]

All the talk of critics and comments brought back the memories of this old thread, and I had to ressurect it, just for pure sillyness.

I think we could use a dose it it.. least I could!

 

[bogusbrig]

All the talk of critics and comments brought back the memories of this old thread, and I had to ressurect it, just for pure sillyness.

I think we could use a dose it it.. least I could!

Jeez, you must have a good memory.

 

[Zanzibar]

Jeez, you must have a good memory.

Some things just stand out better than others. This was one of them

Now I'm off to find someone who has good mammaries... memory can be over-rated sometimes.

 

[Guest]

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b103/saldne/gloom-despair-and-agony-on-me.jpg


grunt an oooooh

 

[annaswirls]

hmmm maybe it is late, but I did not see the sillyness in much of this.

All the talk of critics and comments brought back the memories of this old thread, and I had to ressurect it, just for pure sillyness.

I think we could use a dose it it.. least I could!

 

[annaswirls]

okay now that is funny

grunt an oooooh

omg saldne, come on, get your photer shoop and give each of them guys their proper lit names...

 

[annaswirls]

okay now that is funny

hiccup

 

[ewopper]

Gloom, despair and agony on me
I just got a comment,
from good ol’ YDD
Told me that my poem reeked
That it’s no good a’tall
Gloom, despair and agony on me…

Got a dozen comments
They said my works the best
Then YDD done read it
And said it flunked the test
Had no rhyme or meter,
My poem truly sucked
Since the Master said it.
I guess I’m truly fucked

Gloom, despair and agony on me
I just got a comment,
from good ol’ YDD
Told me that my poem reeked
That it’s no good a’tall
Gloom, despair and agony on me…

Now my life is over
I’ll never write again
Cause this single critic
Said my work was a sin
Tossed out all my pencils
Tore up my writing pad
Who cares the others loved it
YDD said it’s bad

Gloom, despair and agony on me
I just got a comment,
from good ol’ YDD
Told me that my poem reeked
That it’s no good a’tall
Gloom, despair and agony on me…



Now isn't it time to quit all this gloom and doom stuff and lighten up folks? Quit giving this jerk all this power over you all and move on to more fun things... like parody, satire, stories, poems or SEX!


(My apologies to the fine folks at Hee Haw for this bastardization of their song. But it seemed perfect for the occaision.)

Feel free to add your own verses.. about anything!

who is ydd??

 

[ewopper]

hiccup

hi lady

 

[Zanzibar]

hmmm maybe it is late, but I did not see the sillyness in much of this.

The silliness came from one writers response to the mayhem and havoc that was created by YDD when they were doing the "Deep Critic" routine... constantly voting down peoples work, some of my own included, way back then.

The names have changed, but the issues seem to be the same. The original poster seemed to have decided to handle it with humor, and I remembered my own posts in the thread. I particularly got a chuckle out of

Glue, a chair, and derriere makes three
A kid with some Elmer's, creates catastophe
Add a mom who's harried, and don't look where she sits
Glue, a chair, and derriere makes three

and linbido's work.

Heck, even the fact they used something out of Hee Haw! So don't think... it's not a thinking thread, I take it to be a laughing thread!

 

[Guest]

omg saldne, come on, get your photer shoop and give each of them guys their proper lit names...

Damn. I should have. It would've took too much time to think of Lit names though -especially for these guys. But they do look like dirty old men, don't they? God, they're so darn cute in those over-alls. <chuckles>

And speaking of Hee Haw. I got my 11 yr. old daughter into it. I went out and bought one of the shows on DVD. She loves that song. She laughs so hard when I let out that "oooh".



It's weird I don't remember this thread. I guess it didn't go over too well.

 

[flyguy69]

My own experience with YDD was quite different and, in light of her recent death, don't find much humor in the thread, either.

 

[TheRainMan]

My own experience with YDD was quite different and, in light of her recent death, don't find much humor in the thread, either.

Ditto.

 

[Guest]

Now it all makes sense. Not everyone is going to remember that. I certainly didn't and I was on Lit back then. I just wanted to upload a picture of those cool guys from what I thought was an excellent show. I meant no harm by it.

*goes back under rock*

 

[TheRainMan]

Now it all makes sense. Not everyone is going to remember that. I certainly didn't and I was on Lit back then. I just wanted to upload a picture of those cool guys from what I thought was an excellent show. I meant no harm by it.

*goes back under rock*

none taken.

YDD was an excellent critic, and an excellent writer ( those few who had communications with her know how very good her writing skills were ).

She has passed on, and deserves the respect anyone does, for that, at least.

 

[Miss Oatlash]

My contribution:

Desperately Seeking Calliopeia

Desperately Seeking Calliopeia
by Miss Oatlash ©

She sits in her room,
pen and paper at hand,
afraid that her missives
are nothing but bland.
Emotions unbridled
but no ink will flow;
She’s so much to say
that no one will know.

She can’t find her voice,
her feelings, her words.
Where is that harmony
written in thirds?
She’s anxious to write
a poem that will please
the others who seem
to write with such ease.

What is a poem?
she asks in the dark.
Inspiration alludes her;
she waits for the spark
to burst into flame
and swirl in her mind.
Instead she just sits,
her thoughts undefined.

Soon all her scribbles
begin to make sense,
her sentences still
in imperfect tense.
But maybe her scrawl
will turn into verse
clever enough to
break this damn curse.

With structure and cadence,
some meter and rhyme,
maybe the critics
will like it this time.
She logs on the ’net
to post it before
her courage fails and
she deletes it once more.

Next morning she wakes
and pulls up the site
certain she’d read
of the critics delight.
But to her dismay
they hated each phrase
Her work had received
not one word of praise.

Forlorn and depressed
she knew what to do:
She wrote a haiku
to bid them adieu;
Swallowed her pride
with a bottle of red;
Pulled out a Luger
and shot herself dead!

----------------------------------

Farewell Haiku

So depressed am I.
Your displeasure cuts too deep.
You hate me. Me too.