Giving women a chance to say "yes" instead of forcing them to say "no"

[sheablue]

Giving women a chance to say "yes" instead of forcing them to say "no"

Battling the "silence is sexy" date script. What an idea. I've definitely felt the effect of this on my dating life in the past.

I thought this essay was very interesting. And, though I don't think he covered it quite completely or correctly, I'm glad he mentioned Dominance and submission, too.



http://queerguesscode.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/un-memorizing-the-silence-is-sexy-date-script/

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Crap.

In this old life you better grab the gusto when it comes along cuz there may not be a next time. And when any female sez to me, LETS TAKE IT SLOW, I say adios. We'll have all the time there is in the grave.

When females talk shit it means they aren't hot for you, so cut your losses and lettem find one who thrills them enough to get crazee.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Crap.

In this old life you better grab the gusto when it comes along cuz there may not be a next time. And when any female sez to me, LETS TAKE IT SLOW, I say adios. We'll have all the time there is in the grave.

When females talk shit it means they aren't hot for you, so cut your losses and lettem find one who thrills them enough to get crazee.

Absolutely agree with this. I am so glad to hear you say it, and I hope you explain this to all the menz.

If more men start taking women seriously the FIRST time she says no, more women will, eventually, feel free to say yes the first time they are asked.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Let some other fool deal with them, there are plenty ready and willing to get it on.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Let some other fool deal with them, there are plenty ready and willing to get it on.

I couldn't agree more. They don't deserve you.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

All Right! STELLA agrees!

 

[Dyslexicea]

If more men start taking women seriously the FIRST time she says no, more women will, eventually, feel free to say yes the first time they are asked.

Strange, I agree with this but somehow I don't think this is what Jimmy meant.

But in Jimmy's defense. I do think that for his generation the man was expected to be the aggressor. When a woman said "NO" or "Let's slow down", in most cases, she really did mean I'm not interested in you.

In our own community there is still a lot of the same thing, depending on who you may be dating. Although "No" or "Lets slow down" is not a rejection nor is it taken that way. But I've been with butch girls who would have reacted the same way Jimmy does. As a matter of fact in a lot of cases, being I'm femme, even asking a butch girl out, was out of the question, she had to ask me out or there was no chance for a relationship.

Thankfully I don't have to date any longer!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Strange, I agree with this but somehow I don't think this is what Jimmy meant.

But in Jimmy's defense. I do think that for his generation the man was expected to be the aggressor. When a woman said "NO" or "Let's slow down", in most cases, she really did mean I'm not interested in you.

In our own community there is still a lot of the same thing, depending on who you may be dating. Although "No" or "Lets slow down" is not a rejection nor is it taken that way. But I've been with butch girls who would have reacted the same way Jimmy does. As a matter of fact in a lot of cases, being I'm femme, even asking a butch girl out, was out of the question, she had to ask me out or there was no chance for a relationship.

Thankfully I don't have to date any longer!

I remember one gal who moaned NO the whole time she rubbed her pussy all over my hand. In my day NO was an honorable French Style surrender. But excuses and 'lets take it easy' are my clues to go. I assume they aren't interested, and take my lovin elsewhere.

 

[Dyslexicea]

I remember one gal who moaned NO the whole time she rubbed her pussy all over my hand. In my day NO was an honorable French Style surrender. But excuses and 'lets take it easy' are my clues to go. I assume they aren't interested, and take my lovin elsewhere.

Jimmy this isn't 30 years ago, not even 15, at least give it a little time, don't take her reluctance as an outright rejection. Who knows the next time you take her out she may be rubbing her pussy all over your face.

 

[Saxon_Hart]

I remember one gal who moaned NO the whole time she rubbed her pussy all over my hand. In my day NO was an honorable French Style surrender. But excuses and 'lets take it easy' are my clues to go. I assume they aren't interested, and take my lovin elsewhere.

My personal fave is "I just need a little space." Then she gets upset when you seek someone else to help fill your space.

 

[lovecraft68]

To date there is nothing that sucks as bad as "I like you but....

C'mon guys say it with me now!

Only as a friend!

Dammit if I wanted friends I would be hanging out in the bar, not out on the dance floor and going to chick flicks!

 

[lovecraft68]

Jimmy this isn't 30 years ago, not even 15, at least give it a little time, don't take her reluctance as an outright rejection. Who knows the next time you take her out she may be rubbing her pussy all over your face.

She's going to assault James with her cat?

 

[Stella_Omega]

My personal fave is "I just need a little space." Then she gets upset when you seek someone else to help fill your space.

Which is her problem not yours.

And if she continually gets the space she's asked for, she just eventually willing to fill it the first time she's asked-- BECAUSE SHE CAN.

Believe her when she says "no" guys, if nothing else it will serve her right.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Strange, I agree with this but somehow I don't think this is what Jimmy meant.

But in Jimmy's defense. I do think that for his generation the man was expected to be the aggressor. When a woman said "NO" or "Let's slow down", in most cases, she really did mean I'm not interested in you.

In our own community there is still a lot of the same thing, depending on who you may be dating. Although "No" or "Lets slow down" is not a rejection nor is it taken that way. But I've been with butch girls who would have reacted the same way Jimmy does. As a matter of fact in a lot of cases, being I'm femme, even asking a butch girl out, was out of the question, she had to ask me out or there was no chance for a relationship.

Thankfully I don't have to date any longer!

Yes, a lot of butch women have no other model than the behavior they see in men. Although that's changed what with the internet and everything like that-- better conversation between the isolated pockets of us.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Jimmy this isn't 30 years ago, not even 15, at least give it a little time, don't take her reluctance as an outright rejection. Who knows the next time you take her out she may be rubbing her pussy all over your face.

Ixnay! Little buddy! Jimbo doesn't do head-math no mo!

I have no problem with rejection, we like what we like, we want what we want, and no one suits everyone. I get it. But once or twice women have literally dragged me to their bedrooms for some hot hokey-pokey, and that's where I need to be.

I met a few gals who play men for fools, just to eat out every night...OUTBACK one nite, RED LOBSTER the next, etc. Its a sweet scam. And when they offer you an excuse or game-delay ruse its best to cut your losses, and move on to the lady who wants you.

 

[Bramblethorn]

And, though I don't think he covered it quite completely or correctly, I'm glad he mentioned Dominance and submission, too.

"She", I think

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

She's going to assault James with her cat?

Reminds me of Leonard and Fat Pat's cat in THE GOD POCKET by Pete Dexter. LENNY! THATS JUST MISTER KITTYS WAY OF SAYING 'DONT SWING ME AROUND BY MY TAIL!' Mister Kitty engraved a large apostrophe atop Lenny's pee pee.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

To date there is nothing that sucks as bad as "I like you but....

C'mon guys say it with me now!

Only as a friend!

Dammit if I wanted friends I would be hanging out in the bar, not out on the dance floor and going to chick flicks!

My grandsons are worse than me. They enforce a ZERO TOLERANCE for girly bullshit. I mean, NONE.

 

[Stella_Omega]

My grandsons are worse than me. They enforce a ZERO TOLERANCE for girly bullshit. I mean, NONE.

How do they enforce that?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Since it is the AH, I thought I might add a writerly note..."Silent assent" hasn't been the only trope in writing about human sexual encounters. Here's two verbal approaches that don't rely on a feigned "no" to move things along:


“Yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will yes.”

James Joyce, Ulysses



may i feel said he
by e e cummings

may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she

(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)

 

[Stella_Omega]

The power of yes. Thanks, Tio!

 

[Cruel2BKind]

To date there is nothing that sucks as bad as "I like you but....

C'mon guys say it with me now!

Only as a friend!

Dammit if I wanted friends I would be hanging out in the bar, not out on the dance floor and going to chick flicks!

Take friends where you can get them.

The friendzone is a construct of self-entitled whiners.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Take friends where you can get them.

The friendzone is a construct of self-entitled whiners.

HOW DARE SHE NOT FUCK MEEEEEE

 

[Cruel2BKind]

HOW DARE SHE NOT FUCK MEEEEEE

I WAS NICE TO HER AND EVERYTHING!

DOESN'T SHE KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE ONLY NICE IF THEY WANT SEX????

 

[Stella_Omega]

I WAS NICE TO HER AND EVERYTHING!

DOESN'T SHE KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE ONLY NICE IF THEY WANT SEX????

I WANT SEXXXX! SHE WANTS SEX!!!!! BECAUSE I DO!