Girlfriend cheating dilemma

[betamale30]

It’s come to my attention that my girlfriend has been cheating on me, it’s with one guy and I’m pretty confident it’s just a sexual thing not emotional. I do have the jealous and angry feelings you would expect any normal guy to have but at the same time it’s been turning me on like crazy. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like if I confront her she will get defensive & It will turn Into a fight. Also if I tried to tell her It in someway is turning me on I feel like she will lose so much respect for me and that will also put a divide between us. Could use some advice, what would you do or what do you think is my best approach? Or do nothing and let her relationship with him fizzle out and pretend nothing happened

 

[FGB]

It ... at the finish is a question of Mind Over Matter.

If you don't mind very much it doesn't matter very much.

The question is can you handle it or not?

What kind of relationship do you want or can live with?

Think about it and all of it's ramifications and you have your answer.

It IS your life...

Luck.

 

[FGB]

If you decide to Jack her up chew her out for NOT cutting you in on the action!

Damn it it is outrageous and disrespectful!

If she has something on the side YOU have the right to some also...or at least to watch and hear about it but she should have consulted you first.

It all boils down to a matter of trust...she is coming up short.

 

[FGB]

Really?

No one else in this crowd has any advise?

 

[waratah]

Really?

No one else in this crowd has any advise?

Atleast the third time he's asked this.

 

[gtnlynn]

When my wife was my girlfriend, she cheated with others just for fun, no emotional connection, and she dumped them if they got serious. I didn't like it at the time, but later, after we had been married a while, it turned me on to hear her tell about her experiences. Not everybody will handle it that way, but it worked for us.

 

[Kadyia]

I don’t have the best advice. I was once the cheating girlfriend. If it’s sexual and not emotional, then perversely I think it’s more likely to happen again. You have to ask; can you deal with her cheating throughout your entire relationship. A bigger problem is less the cheating than that you both are lying to each other. She’s lying about cheating and you are lying by concealing your feelings and suspicions. Lying is acid and eats away at anything good in a relationship. You need to find a way to talk to her. I’d suggest getting into a relaxed mood; I’d rather be mellow for a conversation like that. Then be as non-judgmental and non-confrontational as you can and let her know what you suspect. I wouldn’t mention that you are a little aroused by the idea at this time. It introduces a totally different element into the conversation and she could focus on that when the first issue is hey, I think you’re having sex with someone else and we need to talk about it. She might get mad and storm out. But then she might come back later and be willing to talk once she’s cooled down. It might mean the end of your relationship, but I think that’s a risk you need to take. It could got a lot of ways and you might even ask if she wants an open relationship. Later, this could lead to you talking about your feelings and how you’re a little aroused by the idea. I’m sure there’s better advice out there, but those are my thoughts.

 

[69johnmichaels]

Cheating

You don't own her....get happy with it or find another person that will let you control them.

 

[gregy70]

I've got no sensible advise as I'd have too much fun with it first before I let her know I know.
I'd go down on her after I know she'd been with him just to see how she reacted.

 

[sionthomas]

I have to say that if your partner did this without consulting you then she's proven to be an untrustworthy person.

Could you live with someone you can't trust? Not many could.

On the other hand, you could discuss the trust issues with her & see if she wants to 'get honest'. If she can't do that then you're better off without as it'll tear you apart. This doesn't necessarily mean she has to stop having sex with other guys, assuming you can handle that, but she needs to be honest & tell you what she wants to do & with who, then you can at least be part of that decision. If she can't do that then she's not a partner at all!

Primarily, you have to look after yourself.

 

[Justfantasies]

I've got no sensible advise as I'd have too much fun with it first before I let her know I know.
I'd go down on her after I know she'd been with him just to see how she reacted.

What you say above IS sensible advice. Have fun with the situation. Nothing wrong with a GF who wants sexual variety

 

[gregy70]

What you say above IS sensible advice. Have fun with the situation. Nothing wrong with a GF who wants sexual variety

I'll admit that type of hunger in a women I find very attractive

 

[Justfantasies]

I'll admit that type of hunger in a women I find very attractive

I have mostly had girlfriends and wives who needed other guys too -- turn on for me

 

[davenjenn]

I have mostly had girlfriends and wives who needed other guys too -- turn on for me

Good for you -- we girls need lots of variety just like you guys, so lay back and enjoy it

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

It’s come to my attention that my girlfriend has been cheating on me, it’s with one guy and I’m pretty confident it’s just a sexual thing not emotional. I do have the jealous and angry feelings you would expect any normal guy to have but at the same time it’s been turning me on like crazy. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like if I confront her she will get defensive & It will turn Into a fight. Also if I tried to tell her It in someway is turning me on I feel like she will lose so much respect for me and that will also put a divide between us. Could use some advice, what would you do or what do you think is my best approach? Or do nothing and let her relationship with him fizzle out and pretend nothing happened

If your wife is fine with it, why should it bother you?

 

[confusedcamy]

………………………………………..

 

[FGB]

Atleast the third time he's asked this.

I did not know that.

I don't approve of people posting things like this for "Stroke material".

On the flip side it is a good subject that many people are interested in.

 

[WillJ8787]

Yes, that's it

So, I'm on the other side of this. I have a bf who I think cares for me and I know I care for him. But I can't stop myself from going back to an old flame and hooking up with him. I know the old flame doesn't care about me. But the sex is AMAZING! It's like electricity shooting through me. I hold out for a while and then can't stop thinking about it and without even thinking about it I'm back at his place doing it again. I hate myself for it. But I can't seem to stop.

You are such a good girl!

 

[WillJ8787]

Sounds like

It’s come to my attention that my girlfriend has been cheating on me, it’s with one guy and I’m pretty confident it’s just a sexual thing not emotional. I do have the jealous and angry feelings you would expect any normal guy to have but at the same time it’s been turning me on like crazy. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like if I confront her she will get defensive & It will turn Into a fight. Also if I tried to tell her It in someway is turning me on I feel like she will lose so much respect for me and that will also put a divide between us. Could use some advice, what would you do or what do you think is my best approach? Or do nothing and let her relationship with him fizzle out and pretend nothing happened

You have a decision to make...are you ok with it or not. If you are can you tell her your ok? And what are your new terms for your relationship with her? Can she agree and if not, then what?

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

You're not married. Talk it out with her. If it turns you on, it can be both frustrating and fun for you. Hubby and I have done it both before and during our marriage. We've been at it for 38 years. It does work for some.

 

[confusedcamy]

………………………...

 

[LuciousLadyMary]

That's the opposite of how I feel.

Everyone of us has had "the one." If we're really lucky, "the one" has everything, looks, sex appeal, future and really good in bed. Whatever it is that keeps pulling you back to your ex is obviously something your current bf doesn't have. If it's something that can be improved in your bf, that's good. If not, you have a dilemma.

Either tell the bf and let him watch or put up with it or leave. Keep getting the ex behind his back. But rest assured, you'll get caught. Everyone does.

 

[confusedcamy]

……………………………..

 

[davenjenn]

I believe you. I know you're right. I expect every call or text to be my exposure. For my parents or bf or a friend or the Bishop to be calling me with the news I've somehow been exposed. I live with that fear all the time. But I won't stop. It's not just the ex flame (who was never really a bf, just someone who screwed me and knows how to turn me on). If it wasn't him it would be someone else and might be someone else in the future. I just have easy access to him for now.

The reality is that many women need more than one guy in their life. The guy who gives good sex is not necessarily the one you are companionable one. There are guys -- husband material -- who accept that we women may need more than them to satisfy them. Hard to find guys like that though.

 

[jharp]

It’s come to my attention that my girlfriend has been cheating on me, it’s with one guy and I’m pretty confident it’s just a sexual thing not emotional. I do have the jealous and angry feelings you would expect any normal guy to have but at the same time it’s been turning me on like crazy. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like if I confront her she will get defensive & It will turn Into a fight. Also if I tried to tell her It in someway is turning me on I feel like she will lose so much respect for me and that will also put a divide between us. Could use some advice, what would you do or what do you think is my best approach? Or do nothing and let her relationship with him fizzle out and pretend nothing happened

Your girlfriend already doesn't respect you. That she's cheating is proof of that. That she's lying about it only further compounds that. However your own arousal to this situation clouds your judgment. The fact is your girlfriend just might not be a good person and is isn't someone who values you. She gets a thrill of pulling one over on you and enjoys the illicit nature of cheating on you. I really can't say without knowing more.

But bottom line is you need to confront her but only after you have evidence. Then you two need to have a talk about the future of your relationship and whether you part ways or not.