Gimme an issue, and I'll give you a tissue...

[Hamletmaschine]

and you can wipe my ass with it.

~Lou Reed, Take No Prisoners

Which begs the question: how much toilet paper do you need when you wipe your ass?

 

[tortoise]

I'm all about the wad o' paper. Trees are overrated anyway.

 

[alexandraaah]

Wad.

Sebadoh!

 

[red_rose]

Ah-hahahahahahahahahaha

Oh, I am so not even voting here.

 

[RawHumor]

Ah-hahahahahahahahahaha

Oh, I am so not even voting here.

You're European?

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Sebadoh!

Speak English.



Liebchen.

 

[red_rose]

You're European?

No, I just don't use the restroom.

That's how I manage to stay full of shit....



grooooaaaannn

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I'm gonna have to reconsider that ass-licking thing we talked about, Rose.

 

[Dillinger]

I always imaged Lou using various bills submitted to Congress for his toilet paper.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Hamlet, darlin, one word.

Bidet.

 

[alexandraaah]

Speak English.



Liebchen.

Aw, just making reference to Tortoise's sigline, so stop swearing at me!

 

[Olivianna]

When I lived in Nepal, we didn't have toilet paper!

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Hamlet, darlin, one word.

Bidet.

God, I love it when you talk French bathroom fixtures.

 

[red_rose]

I'm gonna have to reconsider that ass-licking thing we talked about, Rose.

Damn.

 

[tortoise]

Speak English.



Liebchen.

Name the movie:

"Would you like some liebfraumilch?"

"No thanks, I'd rather have some wine."

(prolly mangling the quote, but...)

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I'm terrible at movie-related stuff. I just watched one last night, and I don't even remember what it was or who was in it.

 

[riff]

Dude.

Let's go smoke some weed and listen to Beatles' White Album.

You got a cancer inside you. I don't know if I can fix it. I wish I was that guy from the movie "The Green Mile."

Don't worry, boss. I won't blow your image.



Have I ever told anyone publicly that I like you just because you are you?

To hell with Lacan and Derrida and De Saussure, De Mann, and the rest.

I could give a fuck. I wish Florida State had LSU on their schedule. We would kick you fucking ass.

 

[bluemuse]

I just love Hamlet's threads....

......all the fun of doing drugs without the expense or yicky side affects.

bluemuse

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Thanks, my brother Kitty-Daddy.

It's just the "sickness unto death," I think. Kierkegaard, man, Kierkegaard. I need to read some Kierkegaard to cheer my ass up.

Or maybe I just need a blowjob.

 

[riff]

Thanks, my brother Kitty-Daddy.

It's just the "sickness unto death," I think. Kierkegaard, man, Kierkegaard. I need to read some Kierkegaard to cheer my ass up.

Or maybe I just need a blowjob.

blowjob my ass.

God Damnit. Stop. I have nothing against blow jobs. I like to get them.

And fuck philosophy and literature while you are at it. They are not a cure.

They may give you terms of reference, but that is about it.

I like some of the K stuff. Some of it is actually good! But what about YOU? With free out on patrol and Greenie being a woman and all, what the fuck is a riff to do?

I want for you to think of your methods of instruction and if I can help you. We have the technology. We can make him better, faster, stronger.....

Danh Danh Danh-danh......

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I used to have a thing for the Bionic Woman. Lindsay Wagner, or whatever the fuck her name was, Jamie Sommers. Then she started doing all those cheesy TV movies that they only show on Lifetime Channel. IMHO the Lifetime Channel should only show Meredith Baxter Birney movies. But I guess Lindsay Wagner and Jacqueline Smith movies would be okay every other month.

Go back and read Kierkegaard. He explains it better than I do.