Gimme a Break (planning on hijacks)

[midwestyankee]

I could have (maybe should have?) put this into Blurts as a one line rant but I decided to open the can and let out the worms (or some such metaphor; it's already happy hour here).

So many times I read stories here at Lit and all I can do before hitting the back button is to say, "Gimme a break." Just had one of those moments and the line that broke the spell was this: "But when Jake's second spurt came, Julie couldn't handle it all." Now, I'm no expert and I do not begin to think that my experience is either typical or runs the width and breadth of male experience. But come on.

Most guys produce more volume with spurt number one, if you're counting. So right there it doesn't make sense that number two was the killer spurt. Besides, I've seen women, and men, take large quantities of food and drink into their mouths without spilling a drop. Cake, beer, french fries, burgers. You name it. And yet, if memory serves, the typical male ejaculation can be measured in tablespoons, not pints.

Am I crazy, or does the "too much cum for her to handle" meme drive anyone else batty as well?

 

[LWulf]

It does to a degree, but I will point out that if you are expecting one tablespoon and got two instead, I imagine, the surprise might make you go "ack!" Then again, it might be also about pressure and not volume.

I remember Peter North was somewhat legendary for his cumshot. It would go three or four feet sometimes which means it was highly pressured. If a woman was trying to swallow at that moment, then their epiglottis probably felt it right before the back of their throat! ROFL (That would tend to be "Julie couldn't handle it all." worthy)

He doesn't shoot that far anymore but he still shoots loads, and it isn't the first squirt, it's the second and the third, the fourth, fifth, sixth.... seriously check out this one compilation on his cumshots.

However, not every guy is Peter North, so, yeah the meme is "gimme a break!" worthy.

Edit: Ignore that video after 7:27, it's some "make big cash spiel"

 

[Ahlam]

It sounds like way too much for Julie to handle. She'd better call her naked stripper room mate over to help pick up the slack.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I don't know about batty, but I am pretty sure it drives plenty of people nuts.

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

MWY I don't think you are taking everything into consideration. Julie's mouth has some amount of Jake's cock in there plus what ever amount of her saliva add in a couple of table spoons or more of Jake's cum as a surprise and I could see it happening.

I do agree about people stuffing their mouths with food, but then you put a couple of fries in then a big bite of your burger and a swallow of soda you know what you are doing. Still I have seen people choke while doing exactly that.

Now to agree with you, I don't much care for stories where the guy produces so much cum she can't handle it all.

Can you say straddling the fence? (LOL)

Mike

 

[desertslave]

Can you say straddling the fence? (LOL)

I had to reread that, I swear I read "straddling her face."

(A girl can hope)

I've had a reasonable amount of cocksucking experience, and I can't honestly say I've ever had the kind of experience that's so over the top. I'm more likely to gag by a mis-timed thrust than copious amounts of cum. Maybe I need more experience after all?

 

[LWulf]

Maybe I need more experience after all?

Call Peter North at 949-big-stud yes that's 949-555-1212, if his answer service picks up, just tell them your looking for "big peter".

 

[DVS]

I could have (maybe should have?) put this into Blurts as a one line rant but I decided to open the can and let out the worms (or some such metaphor; it's already happy hour here).

So many times I read stories here at Lit and all I can do before hitting the back button is to say, "Gimme a break." Just had one of those moments and the line that broke the spell was this: "But when Jake's second spurt came, Julie couldn't handle it all." Now, I'm no expert and I do not begin to think that my experience is either typical or runs the width and breadth of male experience. But come on.

Most guys produce more volume with spurt number one, if you're counting. So right there it doesn't make sense that number two was the killer spurt. Besides, I've seen women, and men, take large quantities of food and drink into their mouths without spilling a drop. Cake, beer, french fries, burgers. You name it. And yet, if memory serves, the typical male ejaculation can be measured in tablespoons, not pints.

Am I crazy, or does the "too much cum for her to handle" meme drive anyone else batty as well?

I'd guess this is one of the reasons the president is trying to get the multiple round clips outlawed?

 

[graceanne]

Truthfully I have to be pretty bored to fight my way through the stuff on lit anymore. I've gotten picky and therefore impatient. That is just one of my many complaints regarding erotica. The other one is where, in the first couple of paragraphs they feel the overwhelming urge to give out measurements and bra cup sizes. That results, for me, in an instant 'nope'.

 

[LWulf]

Truthfully I have to be pretty bored to fight my way through the stuff on lit anymore. I've gotten picky and therefore impatient. That is just one of my many complaints regarding erotica. The other one is where, in the first couple of paragraphs they feel the overwhelming urge to give out measurements and bra cup sizes. That results, for me, in an instant 'nope'.

I tend to hate the "all women have big bouncing breasts and men have huge cocks" stories.

Ya know what? I like the imperfect characters with flaws. Granted, I DO tend to write my main characters that everybody is in love with them, or at least one person, but that's how life is. Sometimes, there is one girl you can't take your eyes off of.

While I am at it I'll also toss in that if I read one more story that has a spanking as:

Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
.....
Me: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz "huh? what? is it over yet?"

 

[the captians wench]

Truthfully I have to be pretty bored to fight my way through the stuff on lit anymore. I've gotten picky and therefore impatient. That is just one of my many complaints regarding erotica. The other one is where, in the first couple of paragraphs they feel the overwhelming urge to give out measurements and bra cup sizes. That results, for me, in an instant 'nope'.

I feel the same way. And when I was writing I would leave a lot of character detail out. I gave basic information suggesting body type and hair color, but not specifics. I was told several times that I needed to give more description so that the reader knew exactly what the character looked like. I resisted, because I like to imagine a bit on my own and figured so might other readers. If they can't fill in the blanks, I'm sure they will pass my stories by. And I'm okay with that.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I feel the same way. And when I was writing I would leave a lot of character detail out. I gave basic information suggesting body type and hair color, but not specifics. I was told several times that I needed to give more description so that the reader knew exactly what the character looked like. I resisted, because I like to imagine a bit on my own and figured so might other readers. If they can't fill in the blanks, I'm sure they will pass my stories by. And I'm okay with that.

Hiya Wenchie, haven't seen you for ages x
I had very much the same criticism, I chose not to to describe the male character in my story because I was writing from the perspective of addressing him, it seemed odd to describe him to himself (am I even making sense here?)

I do agree with MWY, although a cough at the wrong moment can cause quite a mess

 

[lovecraft68]

Worse is the line I have come across(no pun intended) in several stories where the guys load was so copious it was spurting out of the woman's "overflowing" pussy even as he was still cumming.

Please. Watch the "creampie" videos, the women have to push and strain to make even a fair amount dribble out.

Additionally the guy always has a 8-9" monster cock so he's shooting a little too deep for it to be overflowing.

One more, a line made infamous by a certain incest author. "Ropes of semen." Ropes? I'm happy with a few shots of silly string!

 

[Que]

I could have (maybe should have?) put this into Blurts as a one line rant but I decided to open the can and let out the worms (or some such metaphor; it's already happy hour here).

So many times I read stories here at Lit and all I can do before hitting the back button is to say, "Gimme a break." Just had one of those moments and the line that broke the spell was this: "But when Jake's second spurt came, Julie couldn't handle it all." Now, I'm no expert and I do not begin to think that my experience is either typical or runs the width and breadth of male experience. But come on.

Most guys produce more volume with spurt number one, if you're counting. So right there it doesn't make sense that number two was the killer spurt. Besides, I've seen women, and men, take large quantities of food and drink into their mouths without spilling a drop. Cake, beer, french fries, burgers. You name it. And yet, if memory serves, the typical male ejaculation can be measured in tablespoons, not pints.

Am I crazy, or does the "too much cum for her to handle" meme drive anyone else batty as well?

Back when the now ex misses query was on here with me, I got quite an eyeful looking over her shoulder and very is PM's.

This one kid who it obviously read a lot of that tripe started out with a PM to her saying what do you think about guys who have an excess quantity of spunk? Neither of us were drinkers and those days otherwise we could meet a fun drinking game out of it with taking a shot every time he said the words spunk... I'll give him this he could go on and on with great volume about how much spunky produces.

I tend to hate the "all women have big bouncing breasts and men have huge cocks" stories.

Ya know what? I like the imperfect characters with flaws. Granted, I DO tend to write my main characters that everybody is in love with them, or at least one person, but that's how life is. Sometimes, there is one girl you can't take your eyes off of.

While I am at it I'll also toss in that if I read one more story that has a spanking as:

Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
.....
Me: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz "huh? what? is it over yet?"

One time the then wife and I were having a little session on a bar stool in the guest bedroom because it had a semi full length mirror on the back of the door.

I didn't know as much then about proper warm up, and without much preamble smack her ass good and hard.

Smack!!!!

OWww!

I test eyes her for breaking the scene she pointed out that it actually did hurt.

 

[graceanne]

I tend to hate the "all women have big bouncing breasts and men have huge cocks" stories.

Ya know what? I like the imperfect characters with flaws. Granted, I DO tend to write my main characters that everybody is in love with them, or at least one person, but that's how life is. Sometimes, there is one girl you can't take your eyes off of.

While I am at it I'll also toss in that if I read one more story that has a spanking as:

Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
"ouch"
Spank!
.....
Me: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz "huh? what? is it over yet?"

LOL I agree, though.

Worse is the line I have come across(no pun intended) in several stories where the guys load was so copious it was spurting out of the woman's "overflowing" pussy even as he was still cumming.

Please. Watch the "creampie" videos, the women have to push and strain to make even a fair amount dribble out.

Additionally the guy always has a 8-9" monster cock so he's shooting a little too deep for it to be overflowing.

One more, a line made infamous by a certain incest author. "Ropes of semen." Ropes? I'm happy with a few shots of silly string!

*spew*

I feel the same way. And when I was writing I would leave a lot of character detail out. I gave basic information suggesting body type and hair color, but not specifics. I was told several times that I needed to give more description so that the reader knew exactly what the character looked like. I resisted, because I like to imagine a bit on my own and figured so might other readers. If they can't fill in the blanks, I'm sure they will pass my stories by. And I'm okay with that.

Yeah, saying 'her breast/cock fit his/her hand/cunt perfectly' is sufficient, partly because it allows whoever is reading the story to imagine what they like. Not everyone likes huge tits and not everyone can take the huge cocks you read about in erotica.

 

[midwestyankee]

Partly in response to this thread, a friend recently sent me a link to a story by a very literate writer here on Lit: SamScribble. Seems to me that a thread like this should also have counterweights so I thought I'd toss this name out. That said, I've read other writers here (Stella and Keroin are a couple you all know) whose writing is fresh and presents authentic pictures of people engaged in kinky stuff. No ropes of semen from fourteen-inch cocks into pussies so tight it would be hard to get a toothpick in there.

 

[Netzach]

My peeve is when a story starts really seductive and interesting, and this is usually in the fem transformation genre....goes for a few pages of really hot and even romantic...and then it goes on

and on


and on


and by chapter 5904 everyone including the Mistress in page 2 is a happy debased whorebag covered in cum servicing giant cocks and the spelling has gone to shit.

 

[midwestyankee]

My peeve is when a story starts really seductive and interesting, and this is usually in the fem transformation genre....goes for a few pages of really hot and even romantic...and then it goes on

and on


and on


and by chapter 5904 everyone including the Mistress in page 2 is a happy debased whorebag covered in cum servicing giant cocks and the spelling has gone to shit.

Honestly, I can handle almost anything but the bolded part.

 

[LWulf]

However, I want to point out that I DO consider a cum through nose explosion to be a laugh riot in a story, which might be a natural extension of the OP's topic.

In reality? who knows, but in a story it just gets me to giggling.

 

[graceanne]

Partly in response to this thread, a friend recently sent me a link to a story by a very literate writer here on Lit: SamScribble. Seems to me that a thread like this should also have counterweights so I thought I'd toss this name out. That said, I've read other writers here (Stella and Keroin are a couple you all know) whose writing is fresh and presents authentic pictures of people engaged in kinky stuff. No ropes of semen from fourteen-inch cocks into pussies so tight it would be hard to get a toothpick in there.

Well, if we're going to throw out names of good writers, I really like wishfulthinking, although she rarely writes anymore. Also, Scribe Mozell has some really good stuff. My favorites of hers are Professor, Professor and Sabine Woman.

 

[LWulf]

Well, if we're going to throw out names of good writers, I really like ....

I like Charles Petersunn he had a fair assortment of nicely vivid lengthy stories, mostly centering around college sororities, but...eh...
Most were written between 2006 to 2010.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I guess this belongs here.

 

[midwestyankee]

Well, if we're going to throw out names of good writers, I really like wishfulthinking, although she rarely writes anymore. Also, Scribe Mozell has some really good stuff. My favorites of hers are Professor, Professor and Sabine Woman.

I like Charles Petersunn he had a fair assortment of nicely vivid lengthy stories, mostly centering around college sororities, but...eh...
Most were written between 2006 to 2010.

Thank you both for adding these names I'll take a look at their work when I can.

I guess this belongs here.

I have never, ever seen this show and did not know that it existed. A quick tour of the imdb article on the show tells me why: the show debuted in 1981 and ran until 1987. For the first two or three years of that period we did not own a television set. And for the balance of the run, we were too busy chasing after little ones who were both 2 going on 12.

 

[desertslave]

You missed nothing of importance regarding the show.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

You missed nothing of importance regarding the show.

Agreed. It was this sort of nagging when I first read the thread title and then finally put it together and had to post it. Of all the things to have bouncing in my brain house it is a silly one indeed.

Maybe a lame hijack attempt... I'll try to do better next time.