Gift of Submission

[MsWorthy]

Do you feel that your submission is a gift that you give your dom/me? If you do, will you explain what you mean by "gift"?

Is it any of these:

1. Something given with no expectation of a return.

2. Something special that not "many" can offer. (special talent or ability/skill)
(If this is your choice, do you feel that dominance is a gift as well?)

3. Something given.
(assumption: not earned, but given freely. If this is your choice, do you feel that your dom/me needn't earn your submission?)

Any other explanations/reasonings?

 

[Daddyslilpet]

For me, my submission is my gift of myself to my Master. It is what I bring to our relationship, just as his dominance is what he brings. I give my gift to him because I want to and for no other reason. He has earned my trust, but my submission is freely given.

This is just how it is for ME, I'm sure its different for each and every one of us. JMHO


dixi

 

[MissTaken]

Ms. Worthy?

You never ask a simple no brainer sort of question!


Submission is a gift as my offering friendship to another is a gift. A gift is freely given and is to be cherished and cared for.
A gift, any gift, is evidence of that special bond that exists between two individuals, unique unto them.

When a gift is given, it is given in trust that it will be appreciated and fostered.

Yes, His domination is a gift to me. When I am in a relationship, there are times I am overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings that are invoked when thinking "Hey! He chose me as well. "

 

[SexyChele]

Great topic, MsWorthy!

How best to describe? I have not given my submission to many people at all. (You can count them on one hand, and not use all the fingers) My submission is given when trust has been offered and proven to me by my choice of Dom. I view my "gift" as an exchange: I will give him my submission in exchange for trust.

Why is this a "gift"? Because I am not, by nature, a very submissive person. I am very independent, very self-sufficient. As I've stated here many times, I'm "mouthy" and opinionated. I freely state my mind to whoever might (or might not) be listening. I pretty much do as I please in this world.

But when a Dom has proven to me that he desires me, and that he respects and honors me, I am willing to set aside my nature to give in to his desires and to his wants. It is a "gift" in that I am willing to hand over to him control of me - something I feel very strongly about.

Yes, I am sexually submissive by nature. But even there, I do not give every partner my submission. It is a special part of me, something only I own, that I am willing to give to just the right person. The person who has shown me he is willing to work to earn my trust for it.

Does this make any sense?

 

[MsWorthy]

Thank you, Miss T, Chele, and Dixi. *smiles*

Good food for thought.

 

[A Desert Rose]

MzWorthy, I need to think about this a bit before I respond to it. I had a previous bad experience and I am just now becoming aware of what submission really means, what a gift it really is. Thank you for posting this thread.
Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

Do you feel that your submission is a gift that you give your dom/me? If you do, will you explain what you mean by "gift"?

Is it any of these:

1. Something given with no expectation of a return.

2. Something special that not "many" can offer. (special talent or ability/skill)
(If this is your choice, do you feel that dominance is a gift as well?)

3. Something given.
(assumption: not earned, but given freely. If this is your choice, do you feel that your dom/me needn't earn your submission?)

Any other explanations/reasonings?

~~~~~~~~~Originally, I was going to say that is was both 1 and 2, because it is a gift. But what does "earn you submission" by ones Dom/me mean?

I think that there should be an expectation of return. That return should be that the gift of submission is respected and cherished and nutured. That was not my past experience.

I do also think that being a Dom/me or a sub is special only to certain people. I could never be a dominating force, sexually. It's just not how I am made up.

I am going to think about this thread for a while. Bet I change my views or expound on them later.

Rose

 

[Michael42]

if a bdsm-d/s relationship is a graceful dance,
the dominant one earns submission by learning the steps and the rhythms.

 

[A Desert Rose]

WOW

if a bdsm-d/s relationship is a graceful dance,
the dominant one earns submission by learning the steps and the rhythms.

~~~~~~~Once again, very well stated in very few words!
Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

By the way...

if a bdsm-d/s relationship is a graceful dance,
the dominant one earns submission by learning the steps and the rhythms.

May I use that quote sometime?
Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

if a bdsm-d/s relationship is a graceful dance,
the dominant one earns submission by learning the steps and the rhythms.

If the Dominate one learns the steps and the rhythms, it is then His/Her RESPONSIBILITY to teach and guide, correct?

Rose

 

[Desdemona]

I, too, have been giving this topic some serious thought. I find it hard to articulate my thoughts about this clearly or concisely but I'm going to try. Disclaimer: I see both submission and Domination as gifts we give each other. I can only speak to how I feel about giving submission since I'm not a Dominant.

I guess I see gifts in different categories.
1. There are gifts that cost nothing to give. I'm not necesarily referring to financial costs; there are also emotional costs. For example, my friendship and good will cost me nothing to give. It comes easily to me.
2. There are gifts that perhaps are worth little; either to the giver or to the receiver of the gift. example: cheap promotional items given by a business such as pen. Its nice if you need a pen, but not a big deal to anybody.
3. There are those gifts that cost alot to give but the cost is short lived and easily recovered. The cost may be monetary but it could also be an emotional cost. example: going with a friend as a supporter when the family dog must be put down or giving a present that really stretches your budget in the short term. This type of gift means more than the others but isn't something that necessarily impacts your day to day life. This gift is given to friends or family under special circumstances.
4. There are also gifts that are both extremely valuable and costly. Giving this type of gift is not generally done lightly and can impact both the giver and the receiver over a much longer period of time. This gift potentially impacts the day to day life of both parties. This type of gift is reserved for someone special who is worthy.

For me, wholehearted submission falls into category #4. I am a strong woman in my day to day life and have a good sense of my own personal power. Over time, like most adults, I've suffered a few hard knocks and been hurt. In terms of my career, I'm a bit of a control freak. I don't have any trouble giving directions and I expect that my directions will be followed to the letter in a timely fashion. I'm quite capable of taking corrective action with someone who fails to live up to my expectations.

If I choose to become vulnerable and to truly submit, it costs me. It is not easy for me to let go of the control and yield. When I yield to a dominant, it feels like a risk both physically and emotionally. In the past, I have paid a high price emotionally as well as physically because of poor judgement when giving this gift.

Because this gift is so valuable and costs me so dearly, I must know that it will be treated as precious. I can't afford to treat it any other way. To do less, would be a betrayal of myself. However, once I know that the Dominant is worthy and I do submit, the magic between us more than compensates me for any cost. The gift of my submission is repaid with its mirror image, Dominance. This magic between us completes me. It is a deep need which I ignored for many years. I will not ignore this need again.


These are my thoughts and opinions. I know some may disagree and that is ok with me.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Because this gift is so valuable and costs me so dearly, I must know that it will be treated as precious. I can't afford to treat it any other way. To do less, would be a betrayal of myself. However, once I know that the Dominant is worthy and I do submit, the magic between us more than compensates me for any cost. The gift of my submission is repaid with its mirror image, Dominance. This magic between us completes me. It is a deep need which I ignored for many years. I will not ignore this need again.

Beautifully said. I agree 100% and to say more would be to just rephrase and likely butcher, your well chosen words, Des.

Rose

 

[Desdemona]

Thanks Rose.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Des

Once again the depth of your perception shines through with clarity.

It shows the true value you place on your submission.

As a Dominant who accepts the gift of submission as an even trade for the gift of My Domination it is the pride and reality that most compliments My honesty.

A gift of submission given lightly holds no value. The gift is the MAGIC between both parties or it is the poor cousin at the party!

If that makes any sense.

 

[~Dream~]

the Magic...

Mzworthy,
What a thought -provoking thread..thank-you!!I think that I really came out ahead in the *Magic* department...
My giving to my Master my submission,is the most precious gift
that I can give to Him,so yes,it IS Special...
He has proven His love for me and to me,time and time again and He has earned my trust..
Artful's domination,or control over me,and yes even His very *possessing* me is something I feel is necessary for both HE and I to be *One*-Complete*
We desire,each,the other...Our gifts therefore,are Both Special
and to be treasured and cherished like no other.
We respect each other and because of that,OUR love shall be nurtured and Will grow..As Sis Des said so beautifully in Her post,
the *Magic* makes the physical ad emotional cost well worth it..

 

[Desdemona]

Shadowsdream, thank you. Yes, what you said makes perfect sense to me.

 

[artful]

Des

I, too, have been giving this topic some serious thought. I find it hard to articulate my thoughts about this clearly or concisely but I'm going to try. Disclaimer: I see both submission and Domination as gifts we give each other. I can only speak to how I feel about giving submission since I'm not a Dominant.

I guess I see gifts in different categories.
1. There are gifts that cost nothing to give. I'm not necesarily referring to financial costs; there are also emotional costs. For example, my friendship and good will cost me nothing to give. It comes easily to me.
2. There are gifts that perhaps are worth little; either to the giver or to the receiver of the gift. example: cheap promotional items given by a business such as pen. Its nice if you need a pen, but not a big deal to anybody.
3. There are those gifts that cost alot to give but the cost is short lived and easily recovered. The cost may be monetary but it could also be an emotional cost. example: going with a friend as a supporter when the family dog must be put down or giving a present that really stretches your budget in the short term. This type of gift means more than the others but isn't something that necessarily impacts your day to day life. This gift is given to friends or family under special circumstances.
4. There are also gifts that are both extremely valuable and costly. Giving this type of gift is not generally done lightly and can impact both the giver and the receiver over a much longer period of time. This gift potentially impacts the day to day life of both parties. This type of gift is reserved for someone special who is worthy.

For me, wholehearted submission falls into category #4. I am a strong woman in my day to day life and have a good sense of my own personal power. Over time, like most adults, I've suffered a few hard knocks and been hurt. In terms of my career, I'm a bit of a control freak. I don't have any trouble giving directions and I expect that my directions will be followed to the letter in a timely fashion. I'm quite capable of taking corrective action with someone who fails to live up to my expectations.

If I choose to become vulnerable and to truly submit, it costs me. It is not easy for me to let go of the control and yield. When I yield to a dominant, it feels like a risk both physically and emotionally. In the past, I have paid a high price emotionally as well as physically because of poor judgement when giving this gift.

Because this gift is so valuable and costs me so dearly, I must know that it will be treated as precious. I can't afford to treat it any other way. To do less, would be a betrayal of myself. However, once I know that the Dominant is worthy and I do submit, the magic between us more than compensates me for any cost. The gift of my submission is repaid with its mirror image, Dominance. This magic between us completes me. It is a deep need which I ignored for many years. I will not ignore this need again.


These are my thoughts and opinions. I know some may disagree and that is ok with me.

Congratulations on posting the most precious insights, I have ever seen on this subject. It rates better than a well done, but I just don't know of a better term to use. Thanks

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Des

Congratulations on posting the most precious insights, I have ever seen on this subject. It rates better than a well done, but I just don't know of a better term to use. Thanks

Thanks my friend.

 

[WillowPuss]

Des, I stayed away from posting to this thread because I felt I just didn't have the words to adequately describe what being a submissive meant to me, or the act of submission meant to me.

You have put it so well. So clearly.

It ought to perhaps be put on a pedestal as a beacon that new submissives can look to and learn.

 

[navarre]

Brilliant Des.

 

[Desdemona]

Thank you Willow and Navarre.

 

[cellis]

Well said, Des! I was going to post something, but what you said is so insightful... and so full of truth.

You have touched me to the core of my heart.

 

[Desdemona]

Cellis, my dear friend, I'm humbled.

 

[Ebonyfire]

All of you who have posted...

have touched my heart! Such insight!

Eb