Ghosting Sucks

[Draven_Crow13]

Thought i had a few connections forming here with some lovely ladies but alas. Been ghosted. If we dont click thats one thing, but to start, seemingly hit it off then just they disappear sucks. Hope to find a connection soon that will recover my lost smile.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Thought i had a few connections forming here with some lovely ladies but alas. Been ghosted. If we dont click thats one thing, but to start, seemingly hit it off then just they disappear sucks. Hope to find a connection soon that will recover my lost smile.

It happens fairly often to me as well.

Don't take it personally and keep trying to find someone who can be a long term chat partner but also ENJOY the time spent with the ghoster.

Try not to think too deeply about where it went wrong or what you may have done wrong. I have lived in that space more times than I wish to admit.

So for me, instead of the negative thoughts, I just assume I provided a spark for them with their SO in real life and they no longer need me.

That may actually not be true at all, however it is better than dealing with the negative introspective thoughts.

Good luck rebounding!

 

[Mrlighthouse]

Happens oh so often! Am sorry to say

 

[SeniorToYou]

Thought i had a few connections forming here with some lovely ladies but alas. Been ghosted. If we dont click thats one thing, but to start, seemingly hit it off then just they disappear sucks. Hope to find a connection soon that will recover my lost smile.

I am sorry to hear this happened to you. I would feel the same as you if this happened to me. I would imagine their in boxes exploded and you were one of a few or many they replied to. What happens from that point is anyone's guess. Some people don't know what they want and then poof they are gone. I hope you have better luck in the future.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

Thought i had a few connections forming here with some lovely ladies but alas. Been ghosted. If we dont click thats one thing, but to start, seemingly hit it off then just they disappear sucks. Hope to find a connection soon that will recover my lost smile.

I feel the same exact way. It seems like this site is notorious for that. The other annoying thing is. Sorry ladies. Women post to want a conversation not one or two word replies or conversation starters. Then all you get from them is one or two word replies. .
I don't let that bother me anymore. I enjoy other aspects of the site. Getting a nice conversation with a women where you both can talk openly would be great and an added bonus. But don't expect it.

 

[TemptmeTameme]

Yeah have this happen all the time. It's getting so old to deal with. It makes you not want to open up to anyone else

 

[LoneMilf]

Thought i had a few connections forming here with some lovely ladies but alas. Been ghosted. If we dont click thats one thing, but to start, seemingly hit it off then just they disappear sucks. Hope to find a connection soon that will recover my lost smile.

While I agree with the title ("Ghosting Sucks"), it's an awfully negative starting point for a new ad.
I expect you'll get better responses if you just try again instead of dwelling on the past.

In any case, good luck!

 

[Draven_Crow13]

True.. good point just misguided frustration. Lol

 

[lifeis2short2b]

While I agree with the title ("Ghosting Sucks"), it's an awfully negative starting point for a new ad.
I expect you'll get better responses if you just try again instead of dwelling on the past.

In any case, good luck!

So you agree with the title but, why would it be such a negative start ? The poster stated his frustration. If no one responded he would think he was the only one getting ghosted.
I'm pretty sure the ratio for guys to get ghosted as compared to women on this site is tenfold. Also as a women on this site you can post any thread at all and you will have guys liking it, DM you and what not. There are numerous guys here who post things and yes some are pretty lame and get nothing.
But that's the way it is with these sites. I understand and have no problem talking about it.

 

[wisguy281]

Thought i had a few connections forming here with some lovely ladies but alas. Been ghosted. If we dont click thats one thing, but to start, seemingly hit it off then just they disappear sucks. Hope to find a connection soon that will recover my lost smile.

This has happened to me frequently as well. I’m sort of glad I’m not the only one experiencing this.

 

[LoneMilf]

So you agree with the title but, why would it be such a negative start ?

Nothing wrong with venting some frustrations or talking about how unfair the gender distribution can make things.
But as the content of a personal ad? Best case, it generates pity responses. Worst case, people wonder why the OP was ghosted.

And by the way, we get ghosted too. I know it's (much) easier for us to find new connections than it is for guys, but it still hurts when it happens.

 

[wisguy281]

Nothing wrong with venting some frustrations or talking about how unfair the gender distribution can make things.
But as the content of a personal ad? Best case, it generates pity responses. Worst case, people wonder why the OP was ghosted.

And by the way, we get ghosted too. I know it's (much) easier for us to find new connections than it is for guys, but it still hurts when it happens.

I just sent you a DM

 

[KyleR215]

Ghosting sucks and I am sure both the men and the ladies have had it happen but it is how one reacts to it and lets it effect them is what is important.

At first, when I would get ghosted, I would take it personally. It would bother me. Make me wonder what I said or did. But I would learn from the encounter.

I also learned that being upset about being ghosted by anonymous people behind screen names, well I cannot be upset. Looking at it in this way, that while some sort of connection is made, it is still fantasy, anonymous and that kind of attachment could be unhealthy for me.

 

[impresso]

Yes, this happens quite often.
Girls may be talking with too many people to have enough mental energy for everyone, while men lose interest along with their excitement. Or people just switch to something else. And, of course, there's the pursuit of novelty, which is more than abundant on the internet )

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I like that this thread has gained traction and seeing all the different viewpoints and experiences.

Being mister right now isn't too bad as long as fun was had by both

 

[Wisconsin65]

Ghosting happens all the tine. Welcome to online chatting.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

Good points. I'm pretty sure that's what the OP wanted when he started this. And Kyle 100% agree Your personal life with people in the "real world" says much more about you. But I still can't help myself to say WTF when it happens.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

You lost me ????????????????????

Having a short fling can be fun too is all I am saying

 

[tigger_lover]

Thought i had a few connections forming here with some lovely ladies but alas. Been ghosted. If we dont click thats one thing, but to start, seemingly hit it off then just they disappear sucks. Hope to find a connection soon that will recover my lost smile.

Horrid when that happens

 

[cutcrystal899]

Alas, all too common. Just when you are enjoying a dialogue, vanish like mist...

 

[discjockey74]

It’s annoying when it happens.

 

[paulboulder]

Yes, it stinks. As many have said before, this is online, not necessarily the real world. It's important to keep that perspective, and it isn't a reflection on your self worth that another person decided to discontinue what may have been a long running conversation. It happens in the real world, too, of course, where it can be so much more painful.

A conversation thread on here is only a sliver of a person's total personality. You only get to experience what they wish to present. That goes both ways - they only know what they can infer about you from what you share with them. People are complex, messy, scared, anxious, defensive, confident, weird, well-adjusted - and everything in between. Maybe something you said came too close to a part of them they didn't wish to share.

We all understand there are times when a person's real life takes over with work, IRL relationships, family situations, medical stuff, you name it - and the first thing to go is someone you have flirty conversations with. I personally think it only takes a few seconds to write your online friend(s) a note to say, "Hey, I need to take a pause for a while. I have a lot going on. I love our chats and hope to catch up with you soon." That's what we call simple courtesy and kindness.

There are also times when a person may become uncomfortable with where a conversation is going. Again, clear communication: "I am not comfortable with this. Please don't contact me again." And then take steps so that they can't contact you.

It's all the mixed signal stuff in between that can be so frustrating, isn't it? Great conversation, maybe even months in duration, everything's fun and flirty and sexy or whatever your chat language is that you both like, and then poof! No more responses. You don't know what you did or said (or didn't do or didn't say) that brought things to a halt, and once a person isn't responding, there's no point in continuing, because that only makes everything worse (and from an interpersonal dynamics standpoint, it's weak). Maybe it's nothing you did or said at all. That's important, because it means it's not any reflection on who you are, but it's a big reflection of who they are. Maybe they'll write you out of the blue someday and explain, or wish to restart the communication/friendship, and maybe not. Best to not get your hopes up that they will, as the odds are not good that they will. Then, if they do, it's a pleasant surprise. And at that point, it's YOUR decision whether or not YOU wish to resume chatting/sexting/whatever.

So, as someone said up the thread, you remember the fun times you had, try not to dwell on the "what happened? Was it me? What did I miss?" and when you see that person posting here or elsewhere, you just move on.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Agree entirely, Paul, it's simple courtesy. Unfortunately lots of people don't see a person, just a screen. When they're done, they switch it off. We all get things wrong sometimes and text-only communication has so much of our normal interaction missing; no facial expressions, no tone or inflections, no body posture and waving arms.... but a piece of advice I was given in the early days of UseNet still holds: expect others to make the worst interpretation of what you send and try to make the best of what you receive.

 

[Wolfie605]

It happens fairly often to me as well.

Don't take it personally and keep trying to find someone who can be a long term chat partner but also ENJOY the time spent with the ghoster.

Try not to think too deeply about where it went wrong or what you may have done wrong. I have lived in that space more times than I wish to admit.

So for me, instead of the negative thoughts, I just assume I provided a spark for them with their SO in real life and they no longer need me.

That may actually not be true at all, however it is better than dealing with the negative introspective thoughts.

Good luck rebounding!

This right here. We all have to assume the people we are talking with are in a relationship with someone or might be talking with someone else. Lit isn't just here for us to find love or strong connections but part of it is finding confidence in ourselves and sexuality.

So if you get ghosted and you felt a spark before that, then hold your head high. You gave someone confidence enough to go shoot their shot or to address whatever it is they were missing in their relationship. You helped someone.

Also getting ghosted does suck. Sorry that has happened to anyone.

 

[KentBloke63]

If that’s the case, where can I find a ghost?