Ghis (closed)

[heartofcourage]

“You did nothing wrong, love.” Julia said softly, kissing his forehead again as he timidly kissed her shoulder. “Just as I did nothing wrong when Arland attacked me, you did nothing wrong when Sarah did the same.”

“And no matter what happens, you’ll always have me. You’ll always have little Annie. You’ll always have Ciaran. We’re a family and a little thing like a war isn’t going to tear us apart.” Rocking her husband again, she hoped that he was listening and able to process what she was saying. “We’re always there for each other.”

 

[KieranSoares]

Again he began to tremble, but he had no more tears to shed. He remained much the same for a few more days, until Julia returned to Inverness. Her soldiers, under leadership of Casso, remained in Wick to watch over it, and Cole took the helm as a stand-in Regent until a proper and unswaying leader was found. Sarah was brought back with Julia's small group by Kreston. She would await Brogan's judgment, as no one could decide a better punishment than he who had suffered most and seen what she did from the inside.

It was on a dreary morning that Julia woke alone in her bed. She'd woken alone every morning, finding Brogan sitting on the floor in front of the hearth in silence, staring into the flames as if contemplating their power. But this morning, Brogan was missing. He'd been under heavy watch whenever Julia could not be with him, making sure he didn't attempt suicide again, but he never made a move to try any such thing. Annie and Ciaran were kept in Aberdeen for the time being with Valentina and Theo, awaiting some light to come back to Brogan before they saw him again.

This morning, when Julia found her husband gone, she also found his claymore and leather armguard gone, meaning he was leaving the Keep for something. He still couldn't speak- or wouldn't, as Vincenzo believed- so he didn't bother to wake her. He left her a simple note.

I'm going to see Sarah. I'll be home by lunch.
-Brogan

But Vincenzo had warned Julia not to let Brogan near Sarah until he had his proper mind back. Still, Brogan was lone gone to the prison.

He was crouched down before Sarah's cell, and she was chained to the wall securely with a guard coming to check on the chains and cell every hour to ensure she would not escape. Brogan had his arms resting on his knees as he looked through the bars at the woman who'd destroyed him in silence. But his eyes didn't hold hatred as many might expect. They held pity.

 

[heartofcourage]

Julia woke slowly that morning. The pull of a familiar, warm bed was nearly too much for her weary body. The sky outside was grey, raining sheets of ice upon the snow covered land. It was simply a grey day, one that was best spent inside with loved ones.

Something was wrong, she thought to herself as she turned onto her side and noticed that Brogan was nowhere to be seen. His weapons were gone and she felt her heart seize painfully for a moment until she saw his little note. She wanted to go off after him, but she held herself in check. It was his right and the guards at the prison wouldn’t let him do anything too rash.

Sarah stared at the man that she had once conquered, unafraid of what he might do to her. He couldn’t reach her through the iron bars and it seemed that he was more intent on staring at her than anything. Sarah sat on the floor, an iron band about her throat and iron bands holding her wrists securely. Each was chained to the wall, keeping her there as a traitor to the crown of Inverness.

“You won’t kill me.” She said softly, challenging him once more.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I should," Brogan's voice came out quietly, for the first time since he'd attempted to take his own life. His voice was hoarse and weak, but it was finally there. He stood and opened the barred door with one of the only two keys to the cell, and he entered, coming to crouch down before her once more, just out of her reach.

"D'ya r'member a lad called Ian Kinsey?" He asked quietly. Ian was the son of a long-time friend to the Monaghan family, and he'd once been sweet on Cassie and Sarah both, but he'd chosen to pursue Sarah for her bolder spirit. And even though he was a beautifully talented and chivalrous man who fell in love with her, she'd cast him aside because she was still jealous of her sister, wanting Brogan. Ian was left heartbroken and he still had not married to that day.

 

[heartofcourage]

“Of course.” Sarah said, watching as Brogan moved closer, reminding her of a lad that had once tries to win her hand in marriage. “But why should I care about a man that I haven’t seen in so many years?”

 

[KieranSoares]

"Because y'could've been 'appy with 'im. I know y'felt somethin' fer 'im, an' Cass used t'be a bit jealous o'you o'er him y'know, til she realized I could make 'er 'appy." He sighed quietly and asked, "Why did ya go so far, Sarah...? Why did y'have t'do this t'yerself and half o' Scotland? Y'left hundreds o' men dead, families broken across all Britannia an' Norway. Y'almost caused th'death o' yer own father and killed a'least thirty Irishmen who used t'serve ya without question b'cause they loved ya as a leader in yer mother's stead an' fer takin' care of Annie, an' y'got yerself exiled from Ireland as a whole."

He met her eyes, his own filled with pain not for the people she'd hurt, but for her. "Why'd y'have to come after me, Sarah...? Even if y'had won... we'd never be happy. You'd always want more... An' me..." He unconsciously raised a hand to the wound in his throat, something Sarah had heard he'd done to himself because of all she'd forced upon him

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah was quiet for a long moment after Brogan asked her why. She didn’t want to answer him and she didn’t want to think about the men that she had killed along the way. The pretty promises of Ian Kinsey for a life together seemed like such a long time ago. She would have been happy with him, living on his little farm, but she had always wanted more.

“You were mine, Brogan. You swept into my life like a force of nature. When you kissed me, I believed that what I had was something special.” She said softly, staring at him then entire time nearly without blinking. “But then Cassie came into your life. She took away from me what I held most precious and the moment that you laid eyes on her, I ceased to exist.”

“You ignored me, Brogan. At dances, you were there for me and you left me standing on my own at the edge of the crowd, watching as you both fell deeper in love. At dinners, you never spared me a second glance. It was all about Cassie.” Sarah felt her hands ball up as she remembered those times. “I nearly thought it was possible to die of a broken heart when you announced that you would marry her instead with no words to be otherwise.”

“I was embarrassed. I couldn’t think of Ian Kinsey any longer when the only man that I ever wanted broke my heart so cruelly. You were weak and you fell for another pretty face, one that was younger and more vibrant. You should have been my husband. That‘s what you were there for.” Sarah felt tears come to her eyes for the first time in what felt like an eternity. “And I wanted you to feel that pain too. Wondering why you were never good enough. Watching happiness slip from your fingers."

 

[KieranSoares]

Brogan's expression grew more guilty and more concerned as she spoke, and as she admitted to wanting him to feel the same pain as she had, he looked down at the floor. "Then no apology can make up fer tha'..." He finally muttered. "I didn' realize I broke yer heart like tha', Sarah... After I firs' met Cassie, y'started t'become distant from me... I thought it was b'cause y'realized you didn' love me, so... I went on with Cassie. I didn't know it was b'cause I hurt ya... But I didn' forget about you when I met her, Sarah. Don' ever think tha'. I was only interested in Cassie at first as m'future sister-in-law, nothin' more. I thought I was goin' t'marry you, an' I was happy about it. But I thought y'fell out o'love with me. Cassie did too an' she wanted t'comfort me. We never meant t'fall in love, we just... did."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I never had the chance!" Sarah suddenly raged, pulling agains her chains as he told her that he simply thought she wasn't interested. "Three days we had. Three days to show me that a man like you has a fickle heart. Three days of promises and soul seering kisses and then you took it all away!"

She was panting, her eyes blazing with rage. "I was so angry with my sister and I told her so. Her response...well now you have more time to sleep around with the rest of the garrison. I'm sure Ian will let you warm his bed."

"She don't love you then. She simply wanted to spite me. I was a virgin. I had sAved myself for the great king of Inverness. She threw hers away to the keep's cook, a man twice her age." She stared at Brogan knowing that he would have discovered that on their wedding night. "The night after you married her...I knew my heart would never heal. I paid a man at a tavern to take me to his bed and rid me of what I had kept for you..."

 

[KieranSoares]

Brogan listened to every word and considered each in silence. Sarah had every right to be angry with him in many respects. "Then I was blind... I was too eager t'fall in love... And I know you an' Cassie ne'er got along, so I must've hurt ya worse by choosin' her. But we did love each other, an' she wasn' out t'spite you, Sarah. As much as y'think she hated ya, she didn't. She was always worried about ya, so was I. Always 'ave been. Ye've always 'ad a place in my heart, jus'... not th'place y'wanted..."

He looked down to the floor again. "Sorry'll never be enough... No' in a million years. But..." he met her eyes, "I want ya t'know tha' I am sorry, I never meant t'hurt you like this." With that, he rose again and decided to give Sarah one last choice. He unlocked her chains, though the door was still kept shut and locked. She was given the chance to hurt him if she wanted, to rage all she liked before he passed his final judgment.

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah simply stood there after the chains were gone, staring at Brogan for a long moment. She didn't attack him despite the ache in her wounded heart. She wanted him to love her but it would never happen. Behind her stoic features she felt her heart withered just a little bit more. A fleeting thought of the kind Ian floated into her kind but even that made her heart ache. A man she hasn't thought of in so long...there was no way he could go back to that life, right?

"Sentence me to death and end this pain." She said softly, knowing that he was in his right to order the deed be done.

 

[KieranSoares]

"No," Brogan shook his head slowly. "I sentence you t'exile on th'Isle o' Islay as a commoner. Y'can only leave it with my written permission... Ian'll be there t'set ya up so y'can make a life fer yourself. Ye'll be leavin' in a week."

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah sucked in a breath as he mentioned exile. Exile with Ian...it would be torture but still Sarah said nothing. She simply nodded and turned from looking at him. Sitting on the cot, she stared at the wall, her world shaken to the very core.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I don' want ya t'be in danger, or hurt any more'n ya have been. I wish ya th'best, Sarah... I really do." With that, he left her to return to Julia. But Sarah would find that he'd left the key. Quite on purpose, to give her one more chance to choose her own fate and let her run to a new home elsewhere.

 

[heartofcourage]

Sarah looked down at the key that had been left before her bed after Brogan had left. He was giving her a chance to flee, to start a new life away from the turmoil and drama that she had caused. It was a nice thought, but she had no idea how to do that. She had never lived alone and the prospect was frightening.

Still, she was standing from her spot, grabbing the metal key and releasing herself from the cell. She left behind all she knew as she snuck through the prison’s halls, slipping out the back entrance only to be met with a tall man that held two horses. It took her a long moment to realize that this was Ian…and Brogan had probably planned this all along.

“I don’t need you coming with me.” She said softly.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I know ya don't," the handsome man answered her in his lovely Irish accent, his gentle brown eyes giving her softness that no one else had for a long time. "But I know ya don't know the first thing about makin' it on your own. I'm just comin' along to see ya set up well." But it was clear that he wasn't going to just abandon her when she was set.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Surely you have better things to do in your life." Sarah said in a voice that spoke of her pain and heartache. "You don't need to be following a woman who has been sent into exile. Go back to your little farm, Ian. I don't need you with me."

Without another work, Sarah took the leads from the horse that he held, pulling herself into the saddle and pulling it into a direction that would take her away from the keep and further into the Highlands.

 

[KieranSoares]

Ian followed wordlessly, Sarah would not lose him.

Brogan soon returned to his room after his visit to Kayla finding Julia there. He didn't have the courage to meet her eyes, like a guilty, wounded hound who'd done something awfully wrong and was afraid to face his keeper. But he still came to her and quietly wrapped his arms around her waist, laying his head on her shoulder. He sought comfort even though he believed he didn't deserve it.

 

[heartofcourage]

Julia had soon returned to bed as soon as she made up her mind to not chase after Brogan. When he came back, she could see that he was still a different man from the one that she had loved so much. She allowed him to come closer, not meeting her eyes, and she allowed him to wrap his arms around her waist, holding her so tightly. She wrapped her arms around his body as well, cradling him against her as they simply lay there, not saying a word.

She pressed her lips against his temple, letting him know that she loved him and forgave him for anything that had happened while they were separated. She held nothing against him and simply wanted him back to the vibrant man that she'd known.

"I've been having dreams." She whispered against his ear. "That this baby will be a little girl."

 

[KieranSoares]

Brogan buried his face against her neck, and for the first time in weeks, she heard his lovely deep voice, though it was edged with the pain and guilt in his slowly-reviving heart. "I 'ope so... I need another lass 'round t'keep me in line..." He was trying to lighten his own mind, and she could feel his lips turn in a slight smile. It was such a small thing, but a huge step in the right direction.

But then he told her quietly, "I sentenced Sarah t'exile... but I gave 'er th'chance t'run an' start a new life..." He lifted his head to meet her eyes finally. "Tha' was probably damn stupid o'me..."

Brogan never gave himself much credit for his often-hidden softness and forgiving nature. Perhaps he didn't entirely forgive Sarah, but it was clear he thought there was still some good to be had in the scorned woman.

 

[heartofcourage]

Julia laughed softly as Brogan made a joke, her hands gently running through his hair as they shared a little moment together. "You never needed any girls to keep you in line, love. If anything, we need you to keep us in line."

She was quiet as Brogan confessed what he had done with Sarah, his eyes meeting hers for the first time in so very long. She listened to his words, thought about them for a long moment, before she let out a sigh and leaned forward, rewarding him with a kiss pressed to his forehead.

"It was within your right, Brogan. Perhaps there is still some good in her, but without an army, she would have a hard time attacking us again." She said softly. "Whatever you wish to do, Brogan, I will support you completely."

 

[KieranSoares]

"E'en after all she's done... I owed it t'her... I broke 'er heart in th'worst way when we were young... I'd gone t'Ireland t'court her, but when I met Cassie an' spent a bit o'time with 'er t'get t'know 'er... I mistook Sarah's jealousy for her not bein' interested in me any more..." He admitted the source of all the troubles to Julia, feeling she deserved to know. "So... I let Sarah go an'... well, it wasn' 'ard t'fall fer Cassie. I jus' didn't know what it all did t'Sarah..."

He laid his head against Julia's shoulder again. "So I'm only punishin' 'er fer what she did t'people who weren' involved with tha'... Far as I'm concerned... she an' I are even, an' she's goin' on 'er way."

But then there was a frantic knock at the door, and Brogan rose with a sigh to open it. There was a young man there, a newer warrior among Brogan's men. "M'keng, th'prisoner-"

"I know."

"... Well, d'we-"

"Let 'er go." Brogan patted the younger lad's shoulder. "She's off t'her exile, lad. Leave 'er be, she's 'ad enough."

"... Yes, sir." The man nodded and quickly went to tell the others. Brogan knew the men would think it odd, but they were so loyal that they wouldn't question it for long.

Brogan returned to Julia and settled at her side again, wanting nothing more than a quiet day at her side.

 

[heartofcourage]

"A broken heart isn't enough to wage war against another tribe. She is a bitter woman and I hope her the best in finding peace in her life." Julia said simply as a knock at the door broke into their solitude.

She watched as Brogan answered, telling the young guard that everything was already taken care of. The guard was hesitant, but soon bowing to his lord's will and leaving the matter as it was. She gave Brogan a little smile as he made his way back to her side.

She wrapped her arms around her husband, holding him close as they both settled in bed, needing the rest and relaxation that this time together would give them. She pressed her lips against his temple again, giving him a sweet smile.

"You're the love of my life, Brogan Ghis. I would move heaven and earth to make sure that you are safe." She said softly, whispering against his ear.

 

[KieranSoares]

"You're too good t'me, love..." he whispered, kissing the line of her jaw lightly. "I r'member 'ow I used t'push ya away, tell in' ya tha' you should be more concerned about yerself... damn I'm glad yer stubborn." He met her eyes again, "I didn' want t'die... but I thought y'were dead... I thought I'd ne'er come 'ome..." With that, he lifted a hand to her chin and pressed his lips to hers, seeking her love and showing her his own.

 

[heartofcourage]

Julia stared into her husband's dark gaze, sighing softly as he told her why he had tried to take his life. She would never hold it against him but she hated the idea that he had tried to kill himself because he thought that she was dead.

"I tried to send you letters, love. I had no idea that they weren't getting through to you." She said softly, cupping the side of his cheek. "And I'm sorry for all the pain that our parting caused you."