Getting Soft

[In Anticipation]

Thanks guys! Not to sound arrogant but I don't think it's an attractiveness issue. He says I'm the most attractive girl he's ever dated. If he really means it, then it would make sense for it to be in his head. Now on to convincing him to get counseling!

Also, he was using the ribbed Trojan condoms. Those are thicker than normal condoms, so could that also be an issue? Has anyone used those and had a problem?

I suspect it's anxiety of one form or another. Just try to be relaxed about it, break the routine etc.

If you can, try to spend an afternoon in bed, just naked together. If you are busy people and only have time for sex late at night then it's not going to be so good.

There have been occasions when I had made a decision not to have sex with someone, then finding that we were on the point of having sex, my erection just disappeared. Otherwise that just doesn't happen with me.

 

[JamieB]

A long time ago

I went through something similar when I was newly de-virginized. It was just anxiety, pretty much. I was just afraid I wasn't going to be able to satisfy her. It ends up that's a self-fulfilling prophecy. In a way, your attempts to help him work through this problem are making it worse.

My suggestion is a work-around. This worked for me until I got my confidence up. Just let him please you in other ways. Once he goes soft, let him know you'd like him to finish you off orally and/or with his fingers. Afterwards, tell him how awesome it was.

Once he realizes he doesn't have to rely on the big-guy to satisfy you, I almost guarantee the big-guy will make a comeback. As a by-product, you'll get lots of quality oral, too.

J

 

[smotherman]

Thanks guys! Not to sound arrogant but I don't think it's an attractiveness issue. He says I'm the most attractive girl he's ever dated. If he really means it, then it would make sense for it to be in his head. Now on to convincing him to get counseling!

Also, he was using the ribbed Trojan condoms. Those are thicker than normal condoms, so could that also be an issue? Has anyone used those and had a problem?

He's probably stressed out with high anxiety. Does your boyfriend breathe during sex? Most guys make the mistake of not breathing normally during sex. Breathing is very important for maintaining a hardon.

I breathe during sex and I never lose my hardon. I'm on my way to work, so can't get into specifics now. If You'd like I can write out a list of what he needs to do prior to having sex with you.

good luck to both.

 

[printerchic]

After many years of great sex with my husband, he started to have problem with not staying hard and not being as hard as he used to be. Eventually he ended up having ED. He was probably older than you guy sounds, but a few years later my husband was diagnosed with diabetes type 2. We still manage to have a great time even now, so don't give up! Keep the lines of communication open and hopefully this will get figured out!

 

[boredalone87]

i had the same problem for months.
i was very very fit, so it wasnt physical.
i was all about how nervous i was. for example, after the first time it happened, i couldnt help but think about it, and wouldnt get hard. my gf getting pissed off didnt help a bit.

but she finally learned to go with the flow and assured me that we could just fool around and it didnt matter if i got hard or not. guess what happened? :-]

 

[cebalrai]

Not to be a asshole but I actually had this problem two nights ago and I personally think it was because I wasn't physically attracted to the girl.

I've had this problem, not because of lack of physical attraction but because there was something unsettling about the relationship. The last time it happened to me, it was in a relationship where I wanted to be exclusive and she didn't want to formalize things or whatever. I said the setup was okay with me, but it really wasn't. It hurt, and I just keps pretending it didn't.

Funny how stuff in our minds plays out in our bodies...