Getting over the peeing feeling

[CuriousMischeif]

Gday all, been having some issues in regards to sex with my gf. We've found that during sex and oral she gets the feeling to pee but just cant get over it. Ive made sure she's been to the toilet before hand and i keep telling her to pee (i know she won;t) and she getting so so close to orgasm....but can't. How can i help her cross that victory line?

 

[rcuhljr]

Are you providing any internal stimulation for her? I'm fairly certain that for some women recieving gspot stimulation (or perhaps just women who tend to have "female ejaculation") that a feeling of needing to urinate isn't uncommon. It could just be a mental block or if she feels pressure from herself to have an orgasm. I'd try just changing settings, perhaps the order, make sure she's relaxed, perhaps try in a bath/shower/hot tub? just some thoughts off the top of my head. good luck.

 

[robincr]

deleted

 

[kiwichyck]

Hi there

Try this
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=423149

Just a shameless plug for my thread, but it is relevant to your question.

 

[Dirty_dave25]

Ask her if she has experienced a clitoral orgasm before..... By the sounds of it she hasn’t, and a lot of women get that sensation of wanting to pee when they first build up to the big O.

Christ i remember one ex when i was younger afraid she was going to explode.... it took ages to reassure her she wouldn’t spontaneously combust into ashes! After that I guess she loved it!

Reassure her that it could be just a sensation…. If it happens it happens. Chances are its female ejaculation. Some women do ejaculate with clitoral stimulation too.

If shes young and inexperienced thats the issue most prob, fear!

 

[Bandit58]

Put down two or three towels, make sure she goes to pee beforehand, and then tell her to relax and let it happen. Reassure her that she isn't going to pee and just keep going That "peeing" sensation can be confusing to someone who hasn't experienced an orgasm before.

I'd had clitoral ones before I met Gil but never had a G spot one. He stimulated me while I was standing and I was so sure I was going to pee - I tried telling him to stop but he just kept going, I squirted all over the floor and was shaking so much he had to help me sit down Now I squirt just about every time we play. There's always quite a few towels on our washing line, I wonder what the neighbours think

Once she learns to be relaxed about it (and you buy plenty of towels!) I'm sure you both will have heaps of fun

 

[lettinggo]

Just wanted to throw in a response from someone in her shoes.

I can't get over whatever the mental block is. I couldn't be more relaxed and comfortable with my partner. Stimulation couldn't be more pleasurable. I typically only have clitoral orgasms with the help of a vibrator or manual stimulation on my own. I have the build up of intense internal orgasms with him, and sometimes the g-spot sensation, but I hit a plateau and stay there (not something I'm about to complain about!), or the intensity subsides without the climax.

I've been this way for years, and this partner is the first I've come this close with. I have had a few internal orgasms with him, but it isn't easy and the g-spot remains elusive.

The tips and tricks given here are great and have gotten me closer than before, but I still can't get there (no matter how relaxed I get). So just keep her pleased. If she gets there, that's fantastic, but if she feels in any way that there's pressure to perform she'll never break that mental block.

 

[CuriousMischeif]

Put down two or three towels, make sure she goes to pee beforehand, and then tell her to relax and let it happen. Reassure her that she isn't going to pee and just keep going That "peeing" sensation can be confusing to someone who hasn't experienced an orgasm before.

Lol thats exactly what ive done but like lettinggo said, she just cant get to the finish line. Ive tried rubbing her clit while inside but she says that that feeling is too much, like when she licks/sucks my head too much. I can get her to twitch and moan and groan but she just wont cum lol. 9 times out of time my face and the bed are completly wet lol.

I'll try putting towels underneath her, maybe that will be even more of a re-assurance. I've done exactly what dirty dave's suggested but yeh, it just wont finish. I'd also put some mood setting music on and spend hours just massaging and kissing her body, not touching her private parts until her panties are wet and even then just tease till she throws my head between her legs lol. Dont you just love it when a woman does that!

She has had a clitoral orgasm when doing it herself, but only a few from me. Lettinggo and my gf are identical lol, it builds up to what she says is really really big but it just wont bloody climax.

 

[lettinggo]

Let me know when you find what works. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

 

[Dirty_dave25]

Just a thought here….

If your partner has had orgasms manually before and has cum (or at least maybe she thinks she has) then why don’t you try some mutual masturbation? If she can get used to having an orgasm in front of you then that should help when its you doing it. You can always get some tips off her too as you watch what she likes to do herself.

In her mindset her orgasms could be a personal thing to her and to let loose with her deep desire in front of someone is holding her back. Or she might be used to cumming in a certain way e.g. with her legs closed tight and tensed. A little mutual masturbation might just explain a little more!

 

[CuriousMischeif]

I've asked her to show me exactly how she does it and its a very specific, precise manner. Its only worked for me once or so. By the end of it her finger is going vertically up and down with her legs together tightly

 

[Dirty_dave25]

I've asked her to show me exactly how she does it and its a very specific, precise manner. Its only worked for me once or so. By the end of it her finger is going vertically up and down with her legs together tightly

There be your problem right there!!!

The way she is used to cuming herself is the problem. Maybe she should try some exploration on her own and have her try and masturbate in situations where she has her legs open. Its because she cant tense her legs together and squeeze what ever women squeeze when they do it, while your in between her legs!! In this case yeah she will love it, will not cum, and most probably have the sensation of needing to pee.

If not, then the only other idea that comes to mind but only as its something similar to what i went through with someone years ago.

Try giving her oral sex as you would normaly, then as the heat warms up, try not to hit her clit dead on, instead lick slighty below, with the occasion tease of the clit now and again. I have no idea if will do anything as everyone is different, but perhaps the less direct approach will bring her on and over the edge where its not so fearce. That was the only way my old ex could get off with someone giving her oral. Otherwise she would be just like ur other half!!!

I do hope u get what you want!! i know it can be frustrating for you both! FINGERS CROSSED!

 

[CuriousMischeif]

Dave i applude you. Both possible reasons you gave why my gf can't orgasm turned out to be true.

Firstly, i asked her if she's ever gotten off with her legs open. She said she's tried but its very very hard, and she always ends up with her legs closed.

Secondly, i suggested that we masturbate in front of eachother. Now shes shown me before how she does it but she never so that she came. So when i asked her to do it all the way she said she would be very uncomfortable because 'it would be weird'. So if im thinking right, because she's uncomfortable cumming infront of me while masturbating, maybe she's unconsciously (sp?) blocking it while were having sex.

To add to this she said that sometimes she feels dirty when she does masurbate so i think thats adding to the problem.

One thing i can't understand however, is why would doing it infront of me be weird if she loves me being between her legs lol?!!

So this begs the question, how the hell do i get her comfortable to orgasm with me? Or better yet not feel dirty when masturbating by herself?

 

[CuriousMischeif]

Sorry for the double post but i was wondering, in light of the fact that she best gets off with her legs tightly closed, the best position during sex would be one with her legs closed!! (Duh) lol. My favourite is the one where she in an L shape, lying on the bed with her legs up vertically, and tightly closed but she says this one feels 'weird'. Weve also tried her lying on her stomach and me entering the vag from behind but im not very long if you know what i mean.

Any suggestions from similar couples?

 

[rcuhljr]

Work up to it slowly, it's kinda like aversion therapy. Perhaps have her masturbate with her eyes closed in a dark room with you just in the room. Don't let her know you are there. If you can't start here start farther back, maybe you in the next room over, etc etc. Once she gets comfortable and can bring herself to orgasm where you are at currently, move closer or turn on the lights, but have her keep her eyes closed. small steps until you get to the point where she's comfortable masturbating to completion with you watching closely.

Now this will take quite a bit of time and patience, but should pay off dividends. Hope everything works out.

*edit* if you want to try the legs together, and she's a little flexible, try her on her back, legs together up over the front of her chest, then it's similar to missionary just a pair of legs between you. Mind you this is just a shot in the dark, very well may not work.

 

[didijune48]

Sorry for the double post but i was wondering, in light of the fact that she best gets off with her legs tightly closed, the best position during sex would be one with her legs closed!! (Duh) lol. My favourite is the one where she in an L shape, lying on the bed with her legs up vertically, and tightly closed but she says this one feels 'weird'. Weve also tried her lying on her stomach and me entering the vag from behind but im not very long if you know what i mean.

Any suggestions from similar couples?

Yes, I do have a suggestion.

I was like that to at first. Try this: Get in the missionary position and once you have entered in her, (be sure she is very aroused before ) let her close her legs. You will be the one having your legs open both sides of hers. Tell her to do like she would be masturbating. You won't be able to go deep in her though. Then, give her the controle of movements and speed.

This is hard for a guy because you will have to be holding on your arms and feet like doing push ups but it worth it.

After a while coming like that, ask her to open one leg and try to get her to come like that. After a while she should be able to come with her legs more open.

It took me time but I had a very caring husband then (he changed sadly) and I am now able to come in any position.

Patience is the ultimate word here. Good luck and let me know if it worked.

 

[ChocolateHarlot]

Ok Im gonna throw my two cents in, apologies if this gets a bit long and boring lol

I used to be exactly the same, and alot of people have thrown in some really good suggestions. The first time a guy made me orgasm was while watching porn, it was dark in the room and he was playing with my clit almost absent mindedly, so as it started to feel really good I tried not to let him know, purely because it kind of took the pressure off me if that makes any sense? He carried on for a while and when I got that 'pee' feeling I shifted ever so slightly so that the pressure from his fingers moved just a fraction, it was enough to keep the good sensation without being too much and hey presto!!! Orgasm number 1

I always used to find it easier after that if he had his fingers inside me while playing with my clit and he learned not to give too much direct stimulation there as the pee feeling was very distracting. However.... when I met my hubby, I was extremely comfortable with him and able to be very relaxed and I know that now, the pee feeling is only uncomfortable for a few seconds, and if I relax - have mind blowing orgasms and usually squirt but... firstly your girlfriend needs to be comfortable, without feeling like shes under any kind of pressure to actually have an orgasm.

Maybe playing in the dark would help, for some reason it always seemed easier for me at first doing this as I knew he couldnt see my expressions!! lol (strange I know but enough to distract me at the time if I thought about it!!)

If she can only get off with her legs together, how about if she lies on top of you while youre inside her, her back on your chest and you could gently play with her clit and slowly slide in and out at the same time? That worked for me too.

As Dirtydave suggests, maybe also try not hitting her clit head on, that feeling can be waaaay too intense until you get used to it.

That was probably more than 2 cents but it might help.

 

[lizzery]

off the topic but either curiousmischeif is my bf or he is in an absolutely identical situation ot ours lol..

 

[Dirty_dave25]

Dave i applude you. Both possible reasons you gave why my gf can't orgasm turned out to be true.

Firstly, i asked her if she's ever gotten off with her legs open. She said she's tried but its very very hard, and she always ends up with her legs closed.

Secondly, i suggested that we masturbate in front of eachother. Now shes shown me before how she does it but she never so that she came. So when i asked her to do it all the way she said she would be very uncomfortable because 'it would be weird'. So if im thinking right, because she's uncomfortable cumming infront of me while masturbating, maybe she's unconsciously (sp?) blocking it while were having sex.

To add to this she said that sometimes she feels dirty when she does masurbate so i think thats adding to the problem.

One thing i can't understand however, is why would doing it infront of me be weird if she loves me being between her legs lol?!!

So this begs the question, how the hell do i get her comfortable to orgasm with me? Or better yet not feel dirty when masturbating by herself?

Thanks for the applaud, but seriously as soon as I tried to think of a time similar it hit me so hard.

I didn’t want to go too deep about how or why your mrs might find it hard as I don’t know nothing about your situation apart from what you have said!

Although we live in a time where a lot of things are less taboo than what they used to be, some people are still brought up in strict/religious backgrounds where maybe sexual topics are a taboo (even stuff like masturbation). The girl I had problems with was from a background where her parent wouldn’t even kiss in front of others. So she grew up being a dirty minx yet still felt bad through doing sexual acts. So please what ever you do don’t blame yourself for your Mrs thinking it weird that she cant climax in front of you. (that’s the last thing you want to knock back your confidence and cause another barrier in the situation!!) No doubt she has had to masturbate in the past in secret and its been her special personal secret. You should be proud that shes admitting it to you and wanting to explore it more! She might go wild with you between the sheets cause the sexual act might not be bad, just the orgasm associated with masturbation! (if you know what I mean.)

Again after a few comments from the ladies (thanks as its hard trying to fathom just what a woman feels!! Lol) Its defiantly a too strong stimulation from direct clitoral stimulation that’s the prob. Whilst having her legs closed I guess it adds some padding or takes away the feeling of needing to pee. Try various techniques in licking around the clitoris to see if she can get a higher plateau in different places. You could always get a small vibrating egg or bullet that has many settings (depending on where u are in the world but there are lots about) The settings range from all sorts of vibrations. Using this over a period might help her climax in different positions but it will also help her desensitise her a great deal. Also its great if she uses it while u penetrate her.

Apart from that and the comments above I think im at a loss for any more advice!! Its been a good topic as I can imagine so many people in the same situation! Its nice to see though your looking for help and not turning away! So we should applaud you! Lol

Christ I must like typing today!

P.S. You could always talk about her fantasies, depending on what they are then you could get her feeling dirty (the fun way) masturbating as if its her fantasy. (let me know if u want me to elaborate!!)

 

[Dirty_dave25]

Sorry for the double post but i was wondering, in light of the fact that she best gets off with her legs tightly closed, the best position during sex would be one with her legs closed!! (Duh) lol. My favourite is the one where she in an L shape, lying on the bed with her legs up vertically, and tightly closed but she says this one feels 'weird'. Weve also tried her lying on her stomach and me entering the vag from behind but im not very long if you know what i mean.

Any suggestions from similar couples?

Seeing this... its the clitoral stimulation thats going to get her to climax with her legs closed. Sex... well very few woman experience climax through sex unless they know and understand their G spot. Granted, G spot pleasure will make her want to pee or feel like it!!

So it depends on what your goal is to be through sex! (as... is she going to be touching urself as u penitrate her and so on.)

 

[CuriousMischeif]

So many suggestions, so little time damnit. Although thanks so much for them.

Were going to get an egg or something similar since she enjoyed the vibrating condoms...too bad the batteries last 2 minutes but theres so many out there, its difficult to pick. Were in australia by the way.

As for indirect stimulation, i'll definatly try that but i know she doesn't like me touching down there while im penetrating, and i dont think there much else to touch while im inside. She also says that licking and fingering at the same time is too intense as well.

I must admit this whole thing is very frustrating because i so so much want to totally blow her mind, but then finding the way there will be most enjoyed. As said patience is a virtue and the rewards will be grand.

Hey lizzery!

 

[pandoravampire]

Im sure you will get there. Have you tried a vibrator? just get one and give it ago if not.
i get stuck in masterbatory positions. I go for months having to sit and stand in certain ways, just phases. Im 42 now, and im on about my 10 must do, stance/technique phase. I pay it no heed.

The needing to pee bit. For me, this turned out to be squirting. Who'd of figured? But being a bit yukked by the whole thing, had to start off in the shower.
Will now quite happily do it wherever i am at the time. Family home here, so usually the ensuite coz of the tiled floor, or padded bed with towels. Who needs the laundry?

She can cum alone. A really really good indicator for success.

Patience is called for, yep id agree with that. But you can bet your bottom dollar, it will be the position of your bodies, hands it'll be technique that cracks it for you. She doesnt seem overly hung up. No more than average. So id advocate lots of practice.

the missionary position with your legs outside her closed tight ones sound good.

Try the dark. Its the exception that breaks the rule, Things are less scary in the dark sometimes.

 

[DrDav]

I've asked her to show me exactly how she does it and its a very specific, precise manner. Its only worked for me once or so. By the end of it her finger is going vertically up and down with her legs together tightly

This is a guess, I don't have much experience in this department.

If self-exploration might ease her tension over the pee-feeling, then how about if she tries to masturbate while on the toilet? That way, she can have her legs apart, but is free to pee all she likes (in her mind at least) ?