Getting her to play with me

[WaywardSun]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for just over two years now and we are both pretty open to pretty much anything as long as it doenst involve other people. Sometimes I like to have my ass played with, but I dont know how to go about asking. That has been one thing she hadnt really expressed any intrest in...ever. I have got her to play with by balls and I moved her hand down lower a few times but she doesnt seem to want to. Should I just give up and move onto something else? I have heard from sites and people I talk to that say that type of stimulation gives a more intense orgasm and I wanted to try it out.

 

[thetwolezz]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for just over two years now and we are both pretty open to pretty much anything as long as it doenst involve other people. Sometimes I like to have my ass played with, but I dont know how to go about asking. That has been one thing she hadnt really expressed any intrest in...ever. I have got her to play with by balls and I moved her hand down lower a few times but she doesnt seem to want to. Should I just give up and move onto something else? I have heard from sites and people I talk to that say that type of stimulation gives a more intense orgasm and I wanted to try it out.

Have you done anything to HER so far as anal is concerned? Just mention that you read about it and see what she says. Mention it kinda turns you on to think about it. TRUTH.

 

[WaywardSun]

yes, we have tried anal a few times, me giving it to her. We used plenty of lube and she was in control of the speed and had a few toys to get things opened up a bit. She said she enjoyed it but it was too big to go all the way in with and I can only really go in a little, if at all. (which is fine) Mostly she only lets me rub my cock through her ass cheeks and sometimes she lets a little bit inside. I just dont know how to go about getting her to play with my ass.

 

[satindesire]

Have you ever actually verbally asked her to?

And also, I know this is sort of a delicate topic, but I LOVE ass play, but the guy has to be squeaky-freakin-clean first. You're freshly showered every time, right?

 

[SweetErika]

Talk to her about your interest. Tell her what you've heard about it being incredibly pleasurable and intensifying orgasms. Find out if she has any fears (about cleanliness, hurting you, doing it wrong, etc.), and propose solutions to see if that'll make her more comfortable.

Possible solutions might include: using toys instead of fingers (putting a condom on the toy makes for easy, no-fuss clean up and keeps toys from becoming infested with bacteria), using a glove or a condom over her fingers, doing an enema and showering before play (it's generally not good to do enemas more than once or twice a week, though, since they wash away good/healthy bacteria and can tax your kidneys), reading up on anal play together, going VERY slow with you guiding her...

Even if it freaks HER out to perform anal play on you, you could still include anal masturbation in your sex play. Get a vibrating plug or whatever is likely to feel good and stay in on its own, and insert it prior to foreplay or sex or whatever. (I suggest a vibrating toy because it'll likely provide more stimulation without you working it manually.)

The very worst case scenario is that she's offended by any kind of anal play on you while you're together and refuses to reconcile her beliefs with your wants. In that case, you could still play on your own while you masturbate.

My point: You've got a lot of options here, and aren't likely to come out a loser regardless of her response to you bringing it up in a loving way. Hopefully, she'll be willing to try it, maybe with some precautionary measures like extra cleansing and condoms, gloves or toys instead of fingers, though!

 

[WaywardSun]

I tend to be clean freak myself, I usually shower before we have sex anyways because theres nothing worse in my mind than going down on someone who hasnt taken a shower all day. Gloves, and condoms are a good idea I will see how it goes. Thanks for the help. I will try to bring it up in a loving way. I have always been to nervous to ask because I have no idea how she will respond. We love eachother very much its just something I dont know how she might react. I smack & play with her ass all the time and its just different because I am a guy and all. I dont want her to think I am gay or anything because I like having my ass played with, she is a little sensative about tha that because her dad left her mom because he turned gay. I am totally not gay, I looooove the ladies but I am scared she will think I am.

 

[SweetErika]

I tend to be clean freak myself, I usually shower before we have sex anyways because theres nothing worse in my mind than going down on someone who hasnt taken a shower all day. Gloves, and condoms are a good idea I will see how it goes.

I definitely prefer gloves, condoms, etc. I have a thing about cleanliness, and the thought of something coming out on my fingers or immediately having to rush any toys to the sink (vs. slipping a condom or glove inside out, right into the trash) squicks me. I'm not sure why, because I'm really not the type to be crazy about disinfecting my environment or having some dirt around, but fecal bacteria is different in my mind, so there has to be some protection. I don't like to have anal sex or toys used on me anally w/o a condom, either.

Thanks for the help. I will try to bring it up in a loving way. I have always been to nervous to ask because I have no idea how she will respond. We love eachother very much its just something I dont know how she might react.

I think it'll be fine if you have a good relationship and are in solution-mode (vs. saying "I want this, and you have to figure out how to do it for me). Think about how YOU would feel if she really wanted something but didn't bring it up for fear of your reaction. Wouldn't you want her to tell you asap?

I dont want her to think I am gay or anything because I like having my ass played with, she is a little sensative about tha that because her dad left her mom because he turned gay. I am totally not gay, I looooove the ladies but I am scared she will think I am.

You have to want to be sexually involved with MEN (real, live ones!) to be gay or bisexual.

And her dad didn't "turn" gay; he ALWAYS was gay, and likely tried to push down his feelings and appear "normal" by marrying a woman. Maybe he hoped those feelings would go away or he could be happy with fantasy alone. Maybe he was so repressed that he didn't quite realize he was gay or was able to live in denial for a long time.

People just don't turn one way or another, babe. They might deny, hide or come to terms or come out to others later in life, but they are the way they are. I didn't realize I was bi until my teens/early twenties and didn't confirm it until after I got married, but I've always been attracted to women.

Loving anal play doesn't make you like men. Liking men makes you like men. If you were gay, you wouldn't be excited about being with your gf, and you'd likely be thinking about looking for cock, rather than ways to incorporate a pleasurable activity into your sex life with her!

 

[mynameiskate]

Maybe try a double dildo or a strap-on and let her take you anally?

 

[smotherman]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for just over two years now and we are both pretty open to pretty much anything as long as it doenst involve other people.

Congrats and I Applaud both of you for not involving other people.

Sometimes I like to have my ass played with, but I dont know how to go about asking. That has been one thing she hadnt really expressed any intrest in.

Just open up and be honest, communication is the backbone of any relationship. She has nothing to lose by at least trying it! At the end of the day it is all about making each other happy.

I have got her to play with by balls and I moved her hand down lower a few times but she doesnt seem to want to. Should I just give up and move onto something else? I have heard from sites and people I talk to that say that type of stimulation gives a more intense orgasm and I wanted to try it out.

Well, just hang in there, maybe she'll come around someday! funny because I have had girlfriends that loved playing with my ass.

Good luck!

 

[subwannabe]

You really just need to talk to her about it. Don't beat around the bush, just talk about it without putting any pressure on her do it. She may be turned off by it totally but at least you would know. Maybe she's not thrilled about it but if she knew how much it turned you on she may want to help you out on occasion.