Getting emotional

I have one like that and I'll never publish it anywhere again because it's very much based on real life. I wrote it for me. Posted it for a little while, then took it down. I wanted people to fucking *hate* the MFC for her poor behavior because it was 100% my poor behavior towards a friend. I was young, stupid, and incredibly afraid of someone actually being genuine in their care for me, because if the care is real and not just about getting something from me, then I have something very real to lose. I still struggle with that.

So, writing out the worst experience of my life is probably also the worst edited thing I've ever done because I was writing it through tears and am tearing up thinking about it now. I don't regret writing it. I do regret ever posting it.

The thing I don't regret posting is the letter that went along with it. That one I wrote fully numb.
Catharsis. So needed. So fucking hard. :heart: :rose:
 
I've only written one story (finished, but currently held in pending). Erotic Horror category. Non-violent. Psychological. I had a lot of conflicted emotions about writing it. I had to write it, and I had to make it a deep cut. Spilling the unconcious. I wonder if it'll get posted or not. I'm on the forum for the first time as well. Not really an author yet, technically. I like this thread a lot though.
 
I've only written one story (finished, but currently held in pending). Erotic Horror category. Non-violent. Psychological. I had a lot of conflicted emotions about writing it. I had to write it, and I had to make it a deep cut. Spilling the unconcious. I wonder if it'll get posted or not. I'm on the forum for the first time as well. Not really an author yet, technically. I like this thread a lot though.
Welcome. When your story is published you can post a link in the What have you posted recently? thread. Also, give it a mention in the New Milestones thread as having your first story published on Lit is just that.
 
100% I do. I laugh. I cry. I get all the feels.

I feel like my own emotions are a barometer for what the reader will feel. Naturally, as was mentioned, I feel it more. The challenge is to slow down and understand if it's the words on the screen that make me feel that way, or just my own imagination (because I see it so clearly). One such scene comes to mind, and I almost gave up on it because it's hard to see through the tears and no one likes to type with snot running out of their nose. Every time I picked it back up, the same. Pretty much echoing @redgarters - I feel you!

To make matters worse, one of my recent story chapters was meant to be dark and disturbing. Unfortunately, it fucked up my dreams for days. I had to dial it back. It was so haunting it felt like it was derailing the story. Maybe I shouldn't have? Maybe I dialed it back for my sake?
 
Yes. Many of my stories are cathartic - experiences I wont get because I'm trans, things that have happened to me in my life that I am working through, feelings I have about my identity.

I wrote a "hard noncon" about a trans man when I was first getting sober. He drank so much that he couldn't go to the cops after being assaulted. But also, the assault gave him something he needed (he was complaining that people never saw him as an attractive man, and then got caught up by some guys that found him *so hot* they had to corner him in an alley).

I questioned posting that one. It was hard to write. Its not easy to read. But it was the culmination of some feelings I've personally fought for a long time - the fear that being myself will make other people dislike me. Which I think is pretty universal. Specifically being trans is a narrow niche, but the fear and the desire around being seen applies to almost everyone.
 
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