Getting Along

[lovecraft68]

It's tempting to think that way and I've done it myself. But as Naoko says later on, it just gives the fires more oxygen. Flamers love feedback - people fundamentally love attention. I've seen rare cases where slapping someone across the face in an internet forum had a positive effect; it works when you have a community of sweet and reasonable people and a newbie shows up and goes rampaging. But it does not work here. I've tried it once, many of you have tried it repeatedly. We're all too contentious (bowing to Naoko, who isn't) to take our spanking and go settle in the corner and vow to be better.

I'm volunteering to avoid posting about things that experience has shown me are deeply contentious here. I don't love the idea because I enjoy a good argument as long as it's impersonal, but I've worked out that impersonal is not what happens here, that cannot change, so it's better to be quieter on certain things. I've also offered an apology for making a statement I could not prove (and now believe to be false.)

Best I know how to do, to further the site's goals.

When I created this thread I had the stated goals. But I also knew it would draw the contentious like moths unto a flame (and said as much in the other thread). Well, here we are. We are the troublemakers (again, with a bow to Naoko). We might think we're all just righteous crusaders for truth, but there simply isn't a drop of provable truth in the flames here. We might think we're offering interesting viewpoints, but it's obvious they're perceived as flame-bait of the worst kind, so it's up to us to stop offering them. We might think we're just defending ourselves, but I'm reminded of my father's advice (too rarely taken) "If a lie is spoken, leave it lying in the mud. If you pick it up you just get muddy. Move on and it will be forgotten, along with the person who spoke it."

We're the people who need to agree to the common sense suggestions in the list that was proposed.

No one's said anything worse about Angrim's list than it's pie in the sky.

It's not. It's how some groups actually operate. I was in a writers group years ago (not erotica) full of people much younger than most folk here (young enough that it was full of romantic intrigue, always a source of trouble). Some strong personalities were in it (after all, I was there...). Yet it ran like clockwork for over a decade because we all agreed that it should. Of course, the stories we worked on weren't rated and there were no contests; it was writing for pure entertainment and to amuse each other. But the point is, even writers can get along if they make the conscious decision to do so. I've seen it happen and I can't see why it cannot happen here.

If we - the people in this thread - agree to let go of personal attacks, then it becomes safer to use Ignore on people you're just never going to like. We can rely on others, who haven't set Ignore, to flag posts as attacks *even if they aren't the person attacked.*. In short we can collectively take out our trash.

This isn't some impossible standard; it has been done and it can be done.

You seem to have been around the chat scene far more than me. Other than here my chat room experience is a sports group through yahoo and a stint on adultfriendfinder(because you can actually hook up in the forums, nothing happens in the 'profile responses" I mean, so I've heard) but I know many have strict rules and that stops this.

here 'freedom of speech' has fallen into what a lot of the wild west internet thinks it is as and that is the right to threaten, stalk, bully and abuse people. When there has been talk of moderation in the GB some people start screaming it violates freedom of speech, it does not. And the people screaming are the biggest abusers over there.

So this site has been set up as an inmates run the asylum platform so this is what ends up happening. And people all have certain things that tick them off and no two are the same so just like there is a fan for every type of story here there is a troll for every type of person.

Anyway I do get tired of snarking, but after awhile it seems like more habiut than anything else.

But Naoko made a good point that even trolls here do contribute, so its not like anyone is trolling the site, its posters trolling posters and the site just becomes the arena.

Everyone is capable of getting along, not much on the net is unforgivable, except to me and others what Freddie did(and he should stop taking all the blame Scouries was half of that as well) and that's why he will always be dogged here, some things are just impossible to let go. But...if the site had rules and had banned the two of them, the amount of crap that's gone on here for years would have greatly diminished.

 

[AH_Mod]

There is a reason this thread is still open, and things that I would normally remove are still here. First and foremost, it's on topic. The title alone should be a warning to people who don't want to read the board in-fighting, and if that doesn't do the trick, only a brief perusal should suffice. The fighting is easily ignored, and not disrupting another discussion.

It's not my job to make anyone be nice to anyone else. That's impossible. I'm putting up boundaries, and nothing more. The goal is to stop every thread from devolving into something of this nature, which had become the norm.

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

You seem to have been around the chat scene far more than me. Other than here my chat room experience is a sports group through yahoo and a stint on adultfriendfinder(because you can actually hook up in the forums, nothing happens in the 'profile responses" I mean, so I've heard) but I know many have strict rules and that stops this.

here 'freedom of speech' has fallen into what a lot of the wild west internet thinks it is as and that is the right to threaten, stalk, bully and abuse people. When there has been talk of moderation in the GB some people start screaming it violates freedom of speech, it does not. And the people screaming are the biggest abusers over there.

So this site has been set up as an inmates run the asylum platform so this is what ends up happening. And people all have certain things that tick them off and no two are the same so just like there is a fan for every type of story here there is a troll for every type of person.

Anyway I do get tired of snarking, but after awhile it seems like more habiut than anything else.

But Naoko made a good point that even trolls here do contribute, so its not like anyone is trolling the site, its posters trolling posters and the site just becomes the arena.

Everyone is capable of getting along, not much on the net is unforgivable, except to me and others what Freddie did(and he should stop taking all the blame Scouries was half of that as well) and that's why he will always be dogged here, some things are just impossible to let go. But...if the site had rules and had banned the two of them, the amount of crap that's gone on here for years would have greatly diminished.

But LC, I understand that you have hard feelings over that, and that you feel it necessary to continue to 'dog' Freddy for this...

But is that helping?

Susan is the most prolific author here. Susan is NOT going anywhere.

The mods are NOT going to boot Susan.

Can't we just let it go? For the rest of our sakes? Please...

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Another, more productive tactic, which I see all the time, is taking out your flame wars in your writing.

Some of the sweetest posters who would never harm a fly can be vicious in their stories and/or poems and/or comments, saying exactly what they think of another person (or genre) but which they would never say in the forum because they don't want to look bad.

It's nice to think we can all be in a love-in just because we're all writers, but erotica can also be like politics. People have views. You can discuss politely on the forums, but there's nothing stopping you from writing whatever the hell you want in your own story.

 

[lovecraft68]

But LC, I understand that you have hard feelings over that, and that you feel it necessary to continue to 'dog' Freddy for this...

But is that helping?

Susan is the most prolific author here. Susan is NOT going anywhere.

The mods are NOT going to boot Susan.

Can't we just let it go? For the rest of our sakes? Please...

I'll echo pilot that if they stop lying about their gender and stop pretending to be an abused women-when in reality they were an abuser of a woman here-then they can do whatever the fuck they want, but if they want to keep leading guys on by talking about tits they don't have and playing battered domestic abuse victim, we're going to keep it up.

My wife works with real rape and domestic violence victims, the fact this loser claims to be one as a sick play for attention and pity is as disgusting as what they did to Selena Kitt.

 

[trysail]

I'm just hoping to drain the swamp...

I remember a poster from the days of misspent youth which read:

"When you are up to your ass in alligators, remember that your original objective was to drain the swamp."
​

I will confess that I didn't understand what it meant back then and— to this very day— I'm still not entirely certain what pearl of wisdom it is intended to convey.



​

 

[lovecraft68]

Just putting this out there as a hypothetical example.

I've been on the boards close to six years, people know me.


So next month I post "I have a confession" and that confession is I'm really a woman, LC is a hot green eyed redhead who posed as a trash talking obnoxious guy for years for what? Fun? To see if I could? Men were meaner to women so I pretended to be one?

So okay, first off, who believes that? No one.

Second let's say it was true...wonder how all those women I role played with back in the day would feel to know they were playing with a woman, not a man and who is that guy I sent pictures of to a few people? Maybe my husband?

There should be no hostility that I lied to people for years?

If Freddie was still being freddie they would always here some crap, but nothing like this. This was asked for and now the moron is starting a "I need a gun thread" because they are getting nasty e-mails from here and are a 'target'

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

I'll echo pilot that if they stop lying about their gender and stop pretending to be an abused women-when in reality they were an abuser of a woman here-then they can do whatever the fuck they want, but if they want to keep leading guys on by talking about tits they don't have and playing battered domestic abuse victim, we're going to keep it up.

My wife works with real rape and domestic violence victims, the fact this loser claims to be one as a sick play for attention and pity is as disgusting as what they did to Selena Kitt.

I understand your stance. I don't agree with it, but I understand it.

I guess I'm finding myself living in the transgendered world. I will address people the way they ask to be addressed. If Jenner wants to be Caitlin, I'm happy to do that.

If someone wants to come on here and swear they are a mulatto reindeer named Manoo... I will refer to them as such.

Considering the kinks displayed here, that's the least I can do.

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

I remember a poster from the days of misspent youth which read:

"When you are up to your ass in alligators, remember that your original objective was to drain the swamp."
​

I will confess that I didn't understand what it meant back then and— to this very day— I'm still not entirely certain what pearl of wisdom it is intended to convey.



​

'Gators are misunderstood.

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

Just putting this out there as a hypothetical example.

I've been on the boards close to six years, people know me.


So next month I post "I have a confession" and that confession is I'm really a woman, LC is a hot green eyed redhead who posed as a trash talking obnoxious guy for years for what? Fun? To see if I could? Men were meaner to women so I pretended to be one?

So okay, first off, who believes that? No one.

Second let's say it was true...wonder how all those women I role played with back in the day would feel to know they were playing with a woman, not a man and who is that guy I sent pictures of to a few people? Maybe my husband?

There should be no hostility that I lied to people for years?

If Freddie was still being freddie they would always here some crap, but nothing like this. This was asked for and now the moron is starting a "I need a gun thread" because they are getting nasty e-mails from here and are a 'target'

It is really quite creative. Sort of a Sybian with no shame, that just wants to be ridden.

 

[lovecraft68]

It is really quite creative. Sort of a Sybian with no shame, that just wants to be ridden.

That's a good analogy and there certainly isn't any shame there.

 

[TxRad]

This message is hidden because SusanJillParker is on your ignore list.

Works for me. She/he can have the place. As someone said, he/she ain't getting run off. he/she have to many stories and won the Survivor Crapathon too many times.

For those that wondered why scouries never got run off, he drew too many people to the site with his bullshit.

So hail the new scouries.

 

[lovecraft68]

This message is hidden because SusanJillParker is on your ignore list.

Works for me. She/he can have the place. As someone said, he/she ain't getting run off. he/she have to many stories and won the Survivor Crapathon too many times.

For those that wondered why scouries never got run off, he drew too many people to the sight with his bullshit.

So hail the new scouries.

You think that's the reason? That he was popular? You mean story wise, or thread wise?

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

This message is hidden because SusanJillParker is on your ignore list.

Works for me. She/he can have the place. As someone said, he/she ain't getting run off. he/she have to many stories and won the Survivor Crapathon too many times.

For those that wondered why scouries never got run off, he drew too many people to the sight with his bullshit.

So hail the new scouries.

Thank you Tx.

 

[NaokoSmith]

On a side note, I'm actually surprised that a few have taken an actual interest in the list of guidelines I made. Should I put them in a separate thread to discuss it further? I mean, worth a shot, right?

No. Just makes more space for the trolls. Gives them what they want: attention and oxygen.

It's tempting to think that way and I've done it myself. But as Naoko says later on, it just gives the fires more oxygen. Flamers love feedback - people fundamentally love attention. I've seen rare cases where slapping someone across the face in an internet forum had a positive effect; it works when you have a community of sweet and reasonable people and a newbie shows up and goes rampaging. But it does not work here.

This is an unusual Forum. We are all writers. We are all clever and love to use words. We constantly use words to increase emotional effect. We enjoy it.

I teach university students, and my colleagues say the most vitriolic students on Forums are the creative writing students.

There are no real 'trolls' here in the way that trolls are understood on the internet in general. But there are people who are getting a kick out of creating a big fuss about nothing. Engaging with them, responding to them, gives them what they want: attention. The attention reassures their existential anxst.

Shit! I do exist, cuz FuckWit96 responded to my post.

Don't respond to posts. If you are excited, upset or think of something really clever to say, PM it to your friends instead. That way you can still let off steam but you don't give oxygen to the trolls.

The so-called 'trolls' are long-standing regular Forum members who contribute in many ways and are highly successful writers. You can learn a lot about how to write good stories from all of them, if you pay attention to the intelligent posts they make from time to time and ignore their rubbish.

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

One of these days... One of you will have to give me the whole Scouries story. I'm dying to hear that.

 

[TxRad]

Thank you Tx.

You have nothing to do with it.

 

[trysail]

There are some flat-out assholes who habituate this forum. They are people who you wouldn't want to live with or near.


They are the type of people who own untrained pit bulls without the slightest apparent concern for the damage they might do.


They are the type of people who are innately argumentative, annoying and utterly lacking of self-discipline and self-control.


That type of person is completely and utterly implacable. They are thin-skinned narcissists. They behave like spoiled two year-olds.



​

 

[lovecraft68]

One of these days... One of you will have to give me the whole Scouries story. I'm dying to hear that.

Ironically it started with him posing as a woman. Even offering pictures of his tit(just one) if you faved him. I think the name was Saraahhh or something like that.

The he was ousted or ousted himself and became scouries. Funny thing is as Sarahhh he seemed to be a better writer even has a green E,

 

[TxRad]

One of these days... One of you will have to give me the whole Scouries story. I'm dying to hear that.

You wouldn't believe it, believe me. Much worse than the freddie story will ever be.

 

[TxRad]

There are some flat-out assholes who habituate this forum. They are people who you wouldn't want to live with or near.


They are the type of people who own untrained pit bulls without the slightest apparent concern for the damage they might do.


They are the type of people who are innately argumentative, annoying and utterly lacking of self-discipline and self-control.


That type of person is completely and utterly implacable. They are thin-skinned narcissists. They behave like spoiled two year-olds.



​

Yeah, another font size hey look at me idiot that loves to post political crap on a writing site.

You summed up us so that about sums you up.

Bye

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

You wouldn't believe it, believe me. Much worse than the freddie story will ever be.

Heh! Oh yes I would.

Flame war veteran.

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

Ironically it started with him posing as a woman. Even offering pictures of his tit(just one) if you faved him. I think the name was Saraahhh or something like that.

The he was ousted or ousted himself and became scouries. Funny thing is as Sarahhh he seemed to be a better writer even has a green E,

Do they give those out any more?

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

There are some flat-out assholes who habituate this forum. They are people who you wouldn't want to live with or near.


They are the type of people who own untrained pit bulls without the slightest apparent concern for the damage they might do.


They are the type of people who are innately argumentative, annoying and utterly lacking of self-discipline and self-control.


That type of person is completely and utterly implacable. They are thin-skinned narcissists. They behave like spoiled two year-olds.



​

All true... But we are working on minimizing that.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

...
They are the type of people who own untrained pit bulls without the slightest apparent concern for the damage they might do.
...

For the record, untrained pit bulls are the nice ones. You have to train hostility into a pit bull to make it aggressive. Come meet mine.

https://youtu.be/GJ6HvjJisMA

(Naoko's right. It's almost impossible to resist bringing up Global Warming at this point. Damn and blast, why is being good always so hard?)