H
HandsInTheDark
Guest
It's got to suck being a mod on Literotica. Especially in AH.
Since moderation started, it's gotten unusual for a topical thread to not lose a few posts. Thread closing isn't uncommon (which is annoying, because sometimes the threads haven't run out of legitimate material). Of all the forums on all the topics I've ever been part of (quite a number over the years, dating back to usenet newsgroups), this place is the worst. (Note: I don't do political boards, which I'm sure would eat this place alive in terms of hostility.)
As far as I know (or care), everyone here is anonymous, and strangers to each other. Some of you have clearly gathered information on each other but as far as I can tell it's for malicious use only. Maybe some of you are friends behind the scenes (and there's ongoing rumor of those friendships spanning voting blocks).
Me, I'm something of a vulcan. I care about topics, not getting up people's asses. I'll debate a point of sociology, sexuality or ethics until the cows come home, but I have to be pissed off beyond belief to single anyone out, let alone make a personal attack. I'd have to care about the individual's opinion to make anything personal, and I don't care about any of you that much, seeing as I don't know you and consider you all anonymous and unknowable.
I have no idea why you don't all view each other this was as well. But some of you definitely don't.
Usually (sociology time) when people online fight, it's to gain "social territory". You want esteem that someone else appears to have (or might rise up and take from you). So you try to diminish their territory by undermining their reputation or turning people against them. The point of enlarged social territory is generally to find better mates, but I think most of you already have mates or are past the age where you want one, so I don't think you're all a bunch of monkeys flinging shit at each other to compete for sex. So what are you competing for? I dunno. It's a forum. There's nothing to win here. Or lose. Social territory can't be it.
So maybe it's just personalities (psychology time). You get enough Borderline Personality Disorder people in the same space and fireworks start even if there is nothing to fight about. I'm not a doctor and I don't know enough about any of you to make a diagnosis anyway. (That said, I can think of at least three folk here who I think should get evaluated.) So maybe this is it? Unstable personalities? Best theory I have at the moment. Haters gonna hate.
So how do we deal with the hate? I've been a big proponent of Ignoring people. My idea was that people were doing the social territory thing and if you just refused to interact with them they'd eventually leave you alone. But it doesn't work. When I abandoned AH, someone here found me in another forum, not a common one, and launched into unprovoked attacks, seizing on an absurd pretext.. Best I can figure is he's routinely checking for my posts and looking for openings to harass. He's not, I think, the only one here who operates like that.
Bottom line, Ignore isn't going to work well because it's not that A and B don't get along. Instead, A wants to drive B away entirely, by telling C, D and E any lie that works. If C, D and E are gullible, or also threatened, you get an echo chamber, and mission accomplished.
I see some evidence of echo chamber in here.
+++
So what can we do? Most people, and certainly Laurel and the mods, would probably prefer fewer threads getting locked. (I'm assuming we're not all BPD and get a sick thrill from locking other people's threads.) How do we get some peace and quiet if some folk are just hostile and willing to lie to "win" at a competition no one else wants to play?
I don't have good ideas. But I'm guessing enough people would like some peace and quiet at this point that the combined brain trust here can come up with something. The Pollyanna solution is to get everyone to agree that there's nothing to fight over and there's nothing to feel threatened by, since we're generally all strangers and no one's opinion is all that critically important to us. Positions and ideas can be important, sure. Let's have bloodbaths over those. But impersonally.
Obvious suggestions are, collectively ask the mods to delete any post which names someone else in even the mildest of snide ways. Don't wait for it to escalate - make it clear that if you reference someone here individually, there better be candy and flowers to follow, or poof.
Or, ask the mods to consider short term bans for repeated offenses. Need to have your posts deleted three times in a week? Have a month off. Three months off in a year? Goodbye. (I know Lit has little incentive to infuriate prolific authors, but having the forums be cesspools isn't great for business either.)
I don't know what else to offer. Basically, I dunno what folk get so pissy about, and I've invited people to set Ignore on me if they don't like my opinions a dozen times. They don't, which means they want the conflict. I'll ask again: I promise you my feelings won't be hurt. (On AH I don't have feelings; or at least if you do something so extreme that I get angry, I'll take it to Laurel or my lawyer, as appropriate.)
So come up with stuff that will help. It's past time to fix this noise.
Mods: Since we all know this thread is going to be like blood in the water to certain people, I'd appreciate it if you didn't give them what they want by locking or deleting the thread. Just kill posts. Maybe if this runs for awhile, something useful will emerge. I mean what the hell, worth a try...
Since moderation started, it's gotten unusual for a topical thread to not lose a few posts. Thread closing isn't uncommon (which is annoying, because sometimes the threads haven't run out of legitimate material). Of all the forums on all the topics I've ever been part of (quite a number over the years, dating back to usenet newsgroups), this place is the worst. (Note: I don't do political boards, which I'm sure would eat this place alive in terms of hostility.)
As far as I know (or care), everyone here is anonymous, and strangers to each other. Some of you have clearly gathered information on each other but as far as I can tell it's for malicious use only. Maybe some of you are friends behind the scenes (and there's ongoing rumor of those friendships spanning voting blocks).
Me, I'm something of a vulcan. I care about topics, not getting up people's asses. I'll debate a point of sociology, sexuality or ethics until the cows come home, but I have to be pissed off beyond belief to single anyone out, let alone make a personal attack. I'd have to care about the individual's opinion to make anything personal, and I don't care about any of you that much, seeing as I don't know you and consider you all anonymous and unknowable.
I have no idea why you don't all view each other this was as well. But some of you definitely don't.
Usually (sociology time) when people online fight, it's to gain "social territory". You want esteem that someone else appears to have (or might rise up and take from you). So you try to diminish their territory by undermining their reputation or turning people against them. The point of enlarged social territory is generally to find better mates, but I think most of you already have mates or are past the age where you want one, so I don't think you're all a bunch of monkeys flinging shit at each other to compete for sex. So what are you competing for? I dunno. It's a forum. There's nothing to win here. Or lose. Social territory can't be it.
So maybe it's just personalities (psychology time). You get enough Borderline Personality Disorder people in the same space and fireworks start even if there is nothing to fight about. I'm not a doctor and I don't know enough about any of you to make a diagnosis anyway. (That said, I can think of at least three folk here who I think should get evaluated.) So maybe this is it? Unstable personalities? Best theory I have at the moment. Haters gonna hate.
So how do we deal with the hate? I've been a big proponent of Ignoring people. My idea was that people were doing the social territory thing and if you just refused to interact with them they'd eventually leave you alone. But it doesn't work. When I abandoned AH, someone here found me in another forum, not a common one, and launched into unprovoked attacks, seizing on an absurd pretext.. Best I can figure is he's routinely checking for my posts and looking for openings to harass. He's not, I think, the only one here who operates like that.
Bottom line, Ignore isn't going to work well because it's not that A and B don't get along. Instead, A wants to drive B away entirely, by telling C, D and E any lie that works. If C, D and E are gullible, or also threatened, you get an echo chamber, and mission accomplished.
I see some evidence of echo chamber in here.
+++
So what can we do? Most people, and certainly Laurel and the mods, would probably prefer fewer threads getting locked. (I'm assuming we're not all BPD and get a sick thrill from locking other people's threads.) How do we get some peace and quiet if some folk are just hostile and willing to lie to "win" at a competition no one else wants to play?
I don't have good ideas. But I'm guessing enough people would like some peace and quiet at this point that the combined brain trust here can come up with something. The Pollyanna solution is to get everyone to agree that there's nothing to fight over and there's nothing to feel threatened by, since we're generally all strangers and no one's opinion is all that critically important to us. Positions and ideas can be important, sure. Let's have bloodbaths over those. But impersonally.
Obvious suggestions are, collectively ask the mods to delete any post which names someone else in even the mildest of snide ways. Don't wait for it to escalate - make it clear that if you reference someone here individually, there better be candy and flowers to follow, or poof.
Or, ask the mods to consider short term bans for repeated offenses. Need to have your posts deleted three times in a week? Have a month off. Three months off in a year? Goodbye. (I know Lit has little incentive to infuriate prolific authors, but having the forums be cesspools isn't great for business either.)
I don't know what else to offer. Basically, I dunno what folk get so pissy about, and I've invited people to set Ignore on me if they don't like my opinions a dozen times. They don't, which means they want the conflict. I'll ask again: I promise you my feelings won't be hurt. (On AH I don't have feelings; or at least if you do something so extreme that I get angry, I'll take it to Laurel or my lawyer, as appropriate.)
So come up with stuff that will help. It's past time to fix this noise.
Mods: Since we all know this thread is going to be like blood in the water to certain people, I'd appreciate it if you didn't give them what they want by locking or deleting the thread. Just kill posts. Maybe if this runs for awhile, something useful will emerge. I mean what the hell, worth a try...
