General Advice

[Guest]

I am a 19 year old male who has limited sexual experience, and would love some one to be able to explain to me how to find the g-spot or clitoris. I think I know what i'm doing but obviously I would love some expert advice. If any ladies or even men could give me so good advice I would be extremely greatful. I really want to be able to please a women, I about to get serious with a girl and really need to know.

Thanks in advance

 

[Never]

The clit is quite easy to find..
Start at the little hole, now trace up until you hit a bump. Be gentle though, it's a bit sensative and that's one part you don't want to hurt.

 

[Problem Child]

The g-spot is between the f-spot and the h-spot.

I haven't found the clitoris yet. Killermuffin is going to fax me a map of it soon.

 

[KillerMuffin]

The G-spot is a spongy (spongier than the rest of it at least) area that you can reach with your fingers. It's on the front wall, the one closest to her belly. The clit is easier to find, just root around with your tongue, or better yet, see if you can get her to show you. If you're lucky you can even get her to show you how she makes it feel good. Call it OJT.

We're SOL, PC. The guy at Kinko's won't let me sit on the copier. He's says I'll get it slimy. I think he's more into men than women. Maybe if you asked.

 

[Problem Child]

rats.

Back to the barbie dolls, although they don't seem to be helping much.

 

[p_p_man]

I am a 19 year old male who has limited sexual experience, and would love some one to be able to explain to me how to find the g-spot or clitoris.Thanks in advance

I'm a 58 year old male and I'm still looking...

 

[KillerMuffin]

Barbie dolls aren't anatomically correct.

Let's see if this works.

*crossing fingers*

 

[KillerMuffin]

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did it.

 

[Problem Child]

Jesus Christ, you are a comic genius!!!!

ROFLMAO!

 

[sigh]

picasso does pussy...i love it! sooooo funny...still laughing

 

[shadowsource]

That takes care of this thread!

Any more questions, kid?

 

[Problem Child]

Did anyone mention that the anus is the part the poo-poo comes out of?

 

[Laurel]

I don't think so, but that's definitely important.

 

[Problem Child]

It's really important, especially if you're thinking the g-spot is all up in there.

 

[KillerMuffin]

PC, you wanted a map and you chickened out on the Kinko's guy. So I had to draw one. I'm not exactly an artist here.

 

[Problem Child]

It's a bitchin map. It looks exactly like what I saw last time I dropped acid and tried to fuck the broomcloset.

 

[Laurel]

LOL! Those dustpans can leave scars, bro.

 

[Mensa]

No problem

Barbie dolls aren't anatomically correct.

Let's see if this works.

*crossing fingers*

If he can follow that, then he's qualified to vote in Florida!

 

[Sephiroth]

It's a bitchin map. It looks exactly like what I saw last time I dropped acid and tried to fuck the broomcloset.

LOL! That's the funniest fucking thing I've heard in days. Keep it up man.

 

[Starfish]

I can't believe I've been missing this fun.

I am sure that KM is an artist in disguise as a writer.

(yes I know. Your writing is much more developed and colorful, but you have a knack. I can see true talent from a mile away)

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

KM, would you mind...

if I submitted your lovely sketch to one of the publishers of major medical anatomical atlases? They're always looking for creative and innovative ways to teach anatomy to doctors and other health professionals, and your artwork is truly sublime, perhaps sacrificing some of the clarity of more conventional approaches, but more than making up for it with its inclusion of an arrow directing the reader where to perform cunnilingus.

Of course I'll require a portion of your earnings, but the percentage is negotiable. I'll have my lawyer talk to your lawyer.

Sincerely,

Oliver Clozoff,
MD2B

 

[KillerMuffin]

SS is my lawyer tonight. I believe she prefers to handle these negotiations in the nude with some rope handy. I'd suggest you bring your lawyer, some back up, and some viagra.

 

[Laurel]

It's really important, especially if you're thinking the g-spot is all up in there.

That would be quite a shock, wouldn't it?

KM - do the penis next!

 

[Laurel]

KM - you don't mind if I put that drawing on the Literotica FAQ, do you?

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

what a coincidence...

SS is my lawyer tonight. I believe she prefers to handle these negotiations in the nude with some rope handy. I'd suggest you bring your lawyer, some back up, and some viagra.

SS just so happens to be my lawyer too. As representing both parties would seem to be a conflict of interest for her, perhaps we should just conduct "mock negotiations" (still nekkid and with rope of course. We want this to be good practice for the real thing).