Gender pronouns after sex change.

[OldHideki]

I have a sci-fi story that has a man who has his wife cheat on him. He ends up with a medical condition, is shipped off for medical treatment, where he goes through an involuntary gender change. He never returns to the marraige, and the cheating wife dies. I want to include a sentence like:

She is going back to the United States, so she can piss on his ex-wife's grave.

I used "she" on the first two pronouns, because it is in the present, I used "his" on the last pronoun, because at the time of the relationship, the protagonist was a male.

Is this correct?

I have a second question about gasps of air while talking. Such as:

Sally sobbed, "I (hic)... don't (hic)... have (hic)... anywhere to go"!

Is this how it should be written?

Thank You, for your responses.

 

[davion2308]

It's not bad

Your pronouns aren't bad in the first example. You may want to use quotation marks on "his" ex-wife's grave to show who you're talking about. I promise that as obvious as you may make it, someone's going to miss the point and they're going to yell at you about how confusion it was.

Even add "It was a different life from now" or something along those lines if you like.

The second sentence with your parenthesis works. The trick here is there's no perfect rule. Just make sure we can understand what's going on with hiccups and give it enough white space to not interrupt too much. Hiccups interrupt, though, so how you've done it works well for me.

And I'm picky.

 

[OldHideki]

So it’s:

She went back to the United States, so she could piss on “his” ex-wife’s grave.

I like it...
Thank You!

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

A duplicate thread got created, so you might want to check responses there, too.