Gay/straight friendships.

[MissTaken]

Can a gay person have a friendship with a straight person of he same gender without those emotional boundaries getting crossed.

We have discussed over and again whether or not men and woman can simply be friends.

I am mulling this over and wonder how similar the two situations are and where there may be differences.





Discuss!

 

[Private Vasquez]

I don't see why not.

 

[red_rose]

I say yes.

 

[badasschick]

I would say yes,
sure I made out with her in my bathroom once a long time ago, but we're still the best of friends and know which side of the fence each other stands.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Yes.

I'm friends with most of my sister's friends, and I don't think any of them are straight.

 

[seXieleXie]

i'm bi. i have friends that are male, i have friends that are female. i have very close straight male friends who i am not sexually interested in and vice versa. i have very close straight female friends who i am not sexually interested in and vice versa.


boundaries can be crossed anywhere, the potential always exists. but potential doesn't have to be realized.

 

[medjay]

I was friends with a guy in high school who was gay. I didn't know he was gay for several months. When I found out it wasn't really a big deal. When asked why he never hit on me he replied that I wasn't his type. Simple as that.

Things worked out for the better because, being gay, he was always surrounded by hot women which afforded me opportunities to meet more chicks! Especially when they found out he was gay and I wasn't. Guess I caught the trickle downs but that was fine by me.

 

[Bindii]

I have a couple of friends that are lesbians and its never been an issue between us.

 

[Private Vasquez]

I think real friends would respect that boundary and not even try to cross it.

 

[Black_Bird]

I have a friend that is bi. While I have, in the past, been curious, I am pretty damn sure that I'm straight. He finds me extreemly attractive.

But we are still just friends.

I have a female friend whom I had a crush on at one time. I've asked her out three times, but she's refused each time. The last time I asked, I decided to let it be; she's my friend, and I love her dearly, but we will never be more then that. I'm still attracted to her, but I don't let that interfere with how I act around her. I wouldn't betray her trust like that.

Does this answer your question?

 

[cesra]

Interesting question

Yes, sure. A gay person can also have a friendship with another gay person of the same gender without any emotional boundaries getting crossed. Of course there are those friendships in any configuration of gay/straight plus male/female that get mixed up by one or both people. That doesn't mean it always gets messy. Just plain friendship is definitely possible.

 

[Ezarc]

My best friend when I was living in Buffalo was gay. I never had a problem and neither did he. We even went out gay bar hoping a bunch of times. I had a blast.
Take Care and Lust Always,
Ezarc

 

[MissTaken]

I have a friend that is bi. While I have, in the past, been curious, I am pretty damn sure that I'm straight. He finds me extreemly attractive.

But we are still just friends.

Does this answer your question?

Do you think there are times where he is bothered by you having a date or an interest in someone else?

I wouldnt' want to hurt anyone's feelings....but feel, it is unavoidable.

Yes, I am making friends with a gal who is bi and she is quickly developing a serious crush on me.

I just dont' want to mishandle it. I like her and want to be her friend. she knows this, but when she comes in and sees me chatting with someone I will be meeting, it seems to bother her a bit. Hmmmm

I think it can be done if communication is open and clear. I am afraid that hurt feelings will be unavoidable especially since I, too, am bi...to a degree.

 

[cesra]

I'd handle it the same way you'd handle a male friend with the same possible crush. Just let them know you're not interested, as gently/subtly as you want to.

She knows you just want to be friends. You're not responsible for her feelings. You're not encouraging her, you're seeing other people, you've told her you want to be friends. If her feelings are hurt, it's unavoidable. Better now than later after a pity date or something.

 

[seXieleXie]

missT, sweetheart, please don't take this the wrong way, but i think it is a bad sign that she is already feeling this way when you've only known her a few days.

you don't owe her anything, and you cannot take responsability for her feelings. they are *her* feelings, not yours. you can't change them, you didn't cause them, and feeling guilty for not returning them will get you nowhere.

 

[seXieleXie]

cesra, we must be operating on the same brianwave

 

[MissTaken]

cesra, we must be operating on the same brianwave

a good brainwave at that!





Thanks!

 

[Black_Bird]

Do you think there are times where he is bothered by you having a date or an interest in someone else?

Nope.

I wouldnt' want to hurt anyone's feelings....but feel, it is unavoidable.

Yes, I am making friends with a gal who is bi and she is quickly developing a serious crush on me.

I just dont' want to mishandle it. I like her and want to be her friend. she knows this, but when she comes in and sees me chatting with someone I will be meeting, it seems to bother her a bit. Hmmmm.

*This* is more like the situation I had with my female friend. Try talking to her about it; if she wants your friendship enough, she'll listen. If not? Well, if she doesn't care enough about you to be just your friend, then she isn't the type of person you want as a lover.

I think it can be done if communication is open and clear. I am afraid that hurt feelings will be unavoidable especially since I, too, am bi...to a degree.

It doesn't matter if you are bi; just because you've opened yourself up to the possibility of a relationship with a female, doesn't mean it has to be her.

It can be done with open and clear communication, but only if both parties are willing to listen and willing to be truthful with themselves.

 

[cesra]

cesra, we must be operating on the same brianwave

Apparently.


And MissTaken, thanks. I hope it helps. It's not always easy just saying that you're really not interested after the other person has developed feelings for you and you know you'll be hurting them, but it's for the best. I hope things go ok.

 

[mistressastra]

Yes I have a gay friend who has a straight male friend and they have been buds for years. No sex involved because, well that would be ewwwwwwwwww for both. They met in grammar school and both are 27 now.

 

[Rhys]

I have a couple of gay friends. We drink beer. Its no big deal.

 

[Never]

I'm at the point were everything with breasts is incredibly desirable. I used to just stare when I went into the meat section of Hanaford – now I sometimes reach down and trail my fingers lovingly over the chicken. I find it quite disturbing. The problem with straight female friends is that they're female. Most of the time I hang out with them I force my body to end at my navel.

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Who would love a little KFC.

 

[glamorilla]

I feel the same way about kielbasa.

 

[Never]

Some people call it necro-bestiality. I call it love!

 

[glamorilla]

And it tastes good too!