Games
- Thread starter REDWAVE
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Aphrodisiac
doing laundry
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Hmmmm
I have always wondered about that too ..
Why must someone control the other person or the other person submit to the other's demands and what not ...
There is always that element of wanting to dominate a woman or a man being wanted to be dominated by a woman.
In my opinion and I KNOW I am going to be called names , feathered, and what not ... but I see it as a sign of weakness.
Just my opinion ... to all who enjoy the bsb ..
Ooops those are the backsteet boys..
All who enjoy BDSM kudos. Have fun and enjoy.
I have always wondered about that too ..
Why must someone control the other person or the other person submit to the other's demands and what not ...
There is always that element of wanting to dominate a woman or a man being wanted to be dominated by a woman.
In my opinion and I KNOW I am going to be called names , feathered, and what not ... but I see it as a sign of weakness.
Just my opinion ... to all who enjoy the bsb ..
Ooops those are the backsteet boys..
All who enjoy BDSM kudos. Have fun and enjoy.
lilminx
...
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2001
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- 19,004
No one ever said that the roles you played had to be strictly dominant and submissive.... but most roles that are played have a dominant person and a submissive person- teacher/student, doctor/patient, master/slave, etc... if you can find roles where the two people are equal, then more power to you- have fun!
Hecate
Lady Hecate will do
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2000
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- 1,657
There is no decree saying S&M or Bondage do have to go with 24/7 D/s. Actually I think this is rather the exception from the rule in real life (if maybe not around here where the hardcore pervs and freaks are hanging out so don't get a wrong image )
Fact is though that usually you find yourself in a more comfortable "place" being either "in charge" (=dominant) or be taken care of (=submissive). For many people seeing BDSM as a "game" it is merely a fact of establishing who is going to be the active and who is going to be the passive part... and that again is merely established for that moment and that scene (like ... being the one tied up is hardly making you actively participate while for the one taking on the responsibility for the partner in his helpless situation to assure no harm comes to him is a dominating role) and can be reversed at any other time.
Depending on how you define Dominance and submission you will see that all activities of bondage or s/m do require those active and passive parts - else they aren't going to work. One big thrill about it is the helplessness of one partner while the other has "free hand" at him/her. But to propperly and savely fill that role responsibilities have to be taken (dominance) and the counterpart must be willing to hand over control fort that period of time - and what else is submission than that?
Oh well - I guess I have rambled enough *lol* and so to sum it up ....
you may have a perfect equal rights relation for 23 hours a day - but the moment you start to play at BDSM one of you per force will be the dominant active one, and the other has to declare his/her will to accept, to submit.
No more - no less but for that special hour or however long you make it last you will have to establish a pattern of responsibilities ... and for some this last as long as the sexual encounter itself - for others it lasts 24/7
And then - it isn't the same for everyone and with everyone.. I have people I will only go D/s for the time of having sex and there are others I know if I were with them it would be just our natural places in the relation - and I am always me...
So all I can advise is go play and enjoy BDSM quality time whenever you feel like it and it floats your and your partner's boat - but even then play save, sane and consensual!
)Fact is though that usually you find yourself in a more comfortable "place" being either "in charge" (=dominant) or be taken care of (=submissive). For many people seeing BDSM as a "game" it is merely a fact of establishing who is going to be the active and who is going to be the passive part... and that again is merely established for that moment and that scene (like ... being the one tied up is hardly making you actively participate while for the one taking on the responsibility for the partner in his helpless situation to assure no harm comes to him is a dominating role) and can be reversed at any other time.
Depending on how you define Dominance and submission you will see that all activities of bondage or s/m do require those active and passive parts - else they aren't going to work. One big thrill about it is the helplessness of one partner while the other has "free hand" at him/her. But to propperly and savely fill that role responsibilities have to be taken (dominance) and the counterpart must be willing to hand over control fort that period of time - and what else is submission than that?
Oh well - I guess I have rambled enough *lol* and so to sum it up ....
you may have a perfect equal rights relation for 23 hours a day - but the moment you start to play at BDSM one of you per force will be the dominant active one, and the other has to declare his/her will to accept, to submit.
No more - no less but for that special hour or however long you make it last you will have to establish a pattern of responsibilities ... and for some this last as long as the sexual encounter itself - for others it lasts 24/7
And then - it isn't the same for everyone and with everyone.. I have people I will only go D/s for the time of having sex and there are others I know if I were with them it would be just our natural places in the relation - and I am always me...
So all I can advise is go play and enjoy BDSM quality time whenever you feel like it and it floats your and your partner's boat - but even then play save, sane and consensual!
sweetpeaz321
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2001
- Posts
- 22
Have to make a few points here-
~There is no such thing as perfect equality. We all must bend (submit) to the will of another from time to time.
~Power flows from the bottom up. As odd as it may seem, submissives actually hold all the power. They set the boundaries and limits of what they will allow a Dom/me to do.
Submission as a weakness? tsk tsk. You have to have inner power to give it over to another. To aquiese to anothers desires is ( in fully functional people) rather difficult.
It also takes great strength to reach inside yourself and find your limits, and then tell someone else what they are!
Me personally, I am a very dominate person. I am assertive and strong.
I also enjoy being my husbands submissive. The intimacy created by power exchange is quite unexplainable. Do I ever feel like a doormat? Never ever. My submission is a gift that my husband fully cherishes, and knows that if he were to ever abuse my gift, I would take it back.
excuse the rambling on- too much coffee this morning!
~There is no such thing as perfect equality. We all must bend (submit) to the will of another from time to time.
~Power flows from the bottom up. As odd as it may seem, submissives actually hold all the power. They set the boundaries and limits of what they will allow a Dom/me to do.
Submission as a weakness? tsk tsk. You have to have inner power to give it over to another. To aquiese to anothers desires is ( in fully functional people) rather difficult.
It also takes great strength to reach inside yourself and find your limits, and then tell someone else what they are!
Me personally, I am a very dominate person. I am assertive and strong.
I also enjoy being my husbands submissive. The intimacy created by power exchange is quite unexplainable. Do I ever feel like a doormat? Never ever. My submission is a gift that my husband fully cherishes, and knows that if he were to ever abuse my gift, I would take it back.
excuse the rambling on- too much coffee this morning!
REDWAVE
Urban Jungle Dweller
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2001
- Posts
- 6,013
I'm very submissive by nature myself. I'm also a gay male. However, I have enough imagination where I can play the dominant role myself, so I guess I'm somewhat of a "switch," but being dominant doesn't come easily to me, and I'm not that good at it. I live in Las Vegas, and I'm looking for a good master to give me some advanced slave training. Anyone interested E-mail me at redwave2001@yahoo.com.
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Natalie Nessus
Gypsy Soul
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2001
- Posts
- 5,740
It is very rare that a D/s relationship exist 24 hours a day as Hecate said. (Note: not all the stories in the BDSM section are true
)
It's about exchanging power for a moment in time to experience full emotional, mental and imaginative involvement. Some people are, as quote above, more naturally into Dominance or to Submission or switch.
I see it as brave but, then again, I would, wouldn't I?
)It's about exchanging power for a moment in time to experience full emotional, mental and imaginative involvement. Some people are, as quote above, more naturally into Dominance or to Submission or switch.
I see it as brave but, then again, I would, wouldn't I?
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