Gable's Daily Reviews

[JeffLeigh]

This thread is where I will post my daily reviews of new and old stories. I will post a review on whatever catches my eye and will always comment on the piece and rate it before I write my review.
Anyone else who is willing to write a review, or who reads the same piece and wishes to post their own review on it, is welcome to join. I just figured I'd put all my reviews in the same spot so I knew where they were.

Also - I use a rating system I created called the Gable's Scale of Erotic Fun, this is a 1-10 scale with 10 being "Utterly Orgasmic", 5 is "It's a Cock-Stroker", and 1 is "Hardon Free". I'll post my scores on each review (if this scale applies) and will also post the number of stars I gave on the Literotica Rating System.

Enjoy the Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA JeffLeigh)

 

[JeffLeigh]

REVIEW FOR AUGUST 18, 2010

BadSanta's Be A God!


BadSanta has taken it upon himself to write a satirical (at least I hope the point was satire because if it wasn't he missed his mark) commentary on the thoughts that run through every writers mind when we receive those nasty little anonymous comments that threaten our fragile literary egos. I must say he hit his mark. I believe that "Be A God!" is a clever and poignant first person rant on the constant battle between our inner 'mom' (the voice that says we're the greatest writer on the planet) and the little demons that those anonymous comments tend to fire up (you know, the ones that keep telling you what a failure you are and how horrible and non-stimulating that one erotic scene is?).

The first part of this 'how to' story is probably the best part, in the second half the author diverges from his somewhat angsty rant to a more ego-boosting, uplifting speech that seems a little too 'Ben Saunders, Motivational Speaker' to me. This well edited (by very well credited editors I must say) commentary is just the right piece of fiction to tuck away in your favorites list for that day when those ugly little comments bring you down. Receiving no score on the Gable's Scale of Erotic Fun, I gave this piece 4/5 stars for voicing all writers inner thoughts on those would-be-haters who post under the dreaded name, anonymous.

Enjoy the Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA Jeff Leigh)

 

[driphoney]

You don't feel like joining the already created review thread here in the AH? Or posting your comments over on the Story Feedback Forum?

ETA: Or going to do it both here and there? You aren't limited to how many you feel like posting on the other thread you know? Litfan's been quite busy as you can see, so feel free to join him!

REVIEW FOR AUGUST 18, 2010

BadSanta's Be A God!


BadSanta has taken it upon himself to write a satirical (at least I hope the point was satire because if it wasn't he missed his mark) commentary on the thoughts that run through every writers mind when we receive those nasty little anonymous comments that threaten our fragile literary egos. I must say he hit his mark. I believe that "Be A God!" is a clever and poignant first person rant on the constant battle between our inner 'mom' (the voice that says we're the greatest writer on the planet) and the little demons that those anonymous comments tend to fire up (you know, the ones that keep telling you what a failure you are and how horrible and non-stimulating that one erotic scene is?).

The first part of this 'how to' story is probably the best part, in the second half the author diverges from his somewhat angsty rant to a more ego-boosting, uplifting speech that seems a little too 'Ben Saunders, Motivational Speaker' to me. This well edited (by very well credited editors I must say) commentary is just the right piece of fiction to tuck away in your favorites list for that day when those ugly little comments bring you down. Receiving no score on the Gable's Scale of Erotic Fun, I gave this piece 4/5 stars for voicing all writers inner thoughts on those would-be-haters who post under the dreaded name, anonymous.

Enjoy the Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA Jeff Leigh)

 

[JeffLeigh]

REVIEW 2 FOR AUGUST 18, 2010

ShyOne79's Unexpected

To say that this story has mild domination is to be extremely generous. Both characters assert themselves at one point or another, but not forcefully enought for me to agree that this story belongs in the BDSM category. So, to review this story fairly, I am going to call it an Erotic Coupling.

ShyOne79 is fairly new to Literotica (look who's talking) and has written four stories since February. "Unexpected" is her newest story and is a nice attempt at erotic literature, though inexperience and lack of editing show. The most glaring grammatical error is the fact that the story starts in present tense and at some point (or several points I should say) falls into the more natural rhythm of a past tense narrative. I think if the author were to edit her story and fix this simple yet all-too-common mistake (placing the whole story into past tense instead of attempting the tricky present progressive) this story would be vastly improved.

The characters are somewhat flat, though I like the way ShyOne79 weaves their characterization into the movement of the scene, and the plot is under-developed. For as long as it took the story to get to the meat and heat I think there should have been more substance to the introduction of the scene and the characters. I also find it odd that Mr. Green (Devin) has been going to Kim for therapy for a while but this is the first time he's asked her to call him by his first name.

Despite these small, easily cleaned up mistakes, ShyOne presents us with a story that shows promise. I can see this becoming an excellent tale of the subtle domination of a physical therapist by the police officer she is helping. It isn't there yet, but with an editor, some constructive criticim, and a few embellishments to the plot, this could definitely become a nice little scene.

I give ShyOne's "Unexpected" a 5 out of 10 on the Gable's Scale of Erotic Fun. The erotic part of this tale could use some cleaning up, it's a little messy and over-worded for my tastes but it does show promise. I gave her 3/5 stars on the Literotica Rating "Liked it, Keep on Writing" which is a very apt rating. I applaud the attempt and think that the more this author writes, and the more constructive criticism she receives, the better her story plots and characters are going to get.

Enjoy the Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA JeffLeigh)

 

[JeffLeigh]

Oops!

You don't feel like joining the already created review thread here in the AH? Or posting your comments over on the Story Feedback Forum?

ETA: Or going to do it both here and there? You aren't limited to how many you feel like posting on the other thread you know? Litfan's been quite busy as you can see, so feel free to join him!

I was going to do it over there but I forgot where the thread was so I decided to keep all my reviews together. Also, I plan on reviewing new and old stories so I didn't know if it was appropriate to post those over there.

I hope I didn't offend anyone by creating this thread...and where's story feedback? Is it in Author's Hangout or is it in its own forum area?

Thanks!
Enjoy The Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA JeffLeigh)

 

[sr71plt]

Well, a review is for readers, not the author, so it isn't really feedback (and thus I see no reason to "have" to put it in the Story Feedback arena). I think the important event is that reviews are being posted. So, I say post it wherever you think appropriate.

 

[litfan10]

Well, a review is for readers, not the author, so it isn't really feedback (and thus I see no reason to "have" to put it in the Story Feedback arena). I think the important event is that reviews are being posted. So, I say post it wherever you think appropriate.

I agree. Every day there are a lot of great stories released and it is nice to have some get a push for more readers or a chance for the writers to get more constructive comments about their works.

Bring it on Cassandra!!

 

[JeffLeigh]

REVIEW 3 FOR AUGUST 18, 2010

al_Ussa's Shark Week

If non-human erotica is your cup of tea then I must recommend al_Ussa's "Shark Week" as a quick, semi-satisfying cock jerker. Though certain aspects of grammar and details seem to elude al_Ussa, the flow of the piece is spectacular. Well paced and easy to read, what this piece lacks in substance is made up for with accurate terminology and imagination.

At times al_Ussa writes with pleasant details and nice attention to plot, though there are times when one wishes there were more or fewer details. His erotic scene was flaccid as far as sex scenes go, the details were fine but I think that it would have been nicer if there was a little more action in the scene. Of course, in the middle of it I got worried that Dr.Williams was going to run out of oxygen, but my fears weren't long lived and the flow of the story wasn't really broken.

I would really like to see this story edited and re-posted, or maybe embellished next year for Shark Week, because I think al_Ussa could have taken it a lot further than he actually did. "Shark Week" rates a 6/10 on the Gable's Scale of Erotic Fun, if you're looking to get your rocks off you're going to be reading more stories after this one, but I did give the author 4/5 well-deserved stars on the Literotica Rating system for the imaginative idea of combining Shark Week (my favorite time of the year) and sex.

Enjoy the Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA JeffLeigh)

 

[driphoney]

Well, a review is for readers, not the author, so it isn't really feedback (and thus I see no reason to "have" to put it in the Story Feedback arena). I think the important event is that reviews are being posted. So, I say post it wherever you think appropriate.

True. So few people go over to the Feedback thread, I just look for any excuse to encourage them to go there.

Of course, over there, authors are actually begging for opinions on their stories, but get very, very few.

 

[driphoney]

I was going to do it over there but I forgot where the thread was so I decided to keep all my reviews together. Also, I plan on reviewing new and old stories so I didn't know if it was appropriate to post those over there.

I hope I didn't offend anyone by creating this thread...and where's story feedback? Is it in Author's Hangout or is it in its own forum area?

Thanks!
Enjoy The Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA JeffLeigh)

You just back out to the Main Literotica Forum and the Story Feedback Forum is on the list just like this one (fourth from the top,) the Story Discussion Circle, The Playground, etc.

I don't think you offended anyone. You'll have to ask the writers you review how they feel if their scores are effected after you post a review!

 

[YoursSINSerely]

This thread is where I will post my daily reviews of new and old stories. I will post a review on whatever catches my eye and will always comment on the piece and rate it before I write my review.
Anyone else who is willing to write a review, or who reads the same piece and wishes to post their own review on it, is welcome to join. I just figured I'd put all my reviews in the same spot so I knew where they were.

Also - I use a rating system I created called the Gable's Scale of Erotic Fun, this is a 1-10 scale with 10 being "Utterly Orgasmic", 5 is "It's a Cock-Stroker", and 1 is "Hardon Free". I'll post my scores on each review (if this scale applies) and will also post the number of stars I gave on the Literotica Rating System.

Enjoy the Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA JeffLeigh)

According to this scale, there is nothing here for women unless it's a 10. Let me know when you find one of those. I'll introduce myself to the author.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

None of these posts are reviews. Learn to write a review and come back.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

IF IT AINT MRS. PAUL, TOSS IT BACK or AL USSA SLEEPS WITH DEH FISHES.

al ussa's SHARK WEEK isnt a story at all; its an incident report: A guy goes diving, fucks a mermaid, and returns to his boat. Its an event without a complication, crisis, and resolution; al ussa coulda used his format to report eating breakfast or taking a shit or watching circus elephants lumber down Main Street.

Ever try to fuck wearing a diving suit, accoutrements, and scuba tanks underwater? Dont waste your time. al ussa's technical details are implausible at best. More! He has no idea shark skin is abrasive.

On 2nd thought isnt this story really bestiality?

 

[JeffLeigh]

None of these posts are reviews. Learn to write a review and come back.

"A book review is a description, critical analysis, and an evaluation on the quality, meaning, and significance of a book, not a retelling. It should focus on the book's purpose, content, and authority. A critical book review is not a book report or a summary. It is a reaction paper in which strengths and weaknesses of the material are analyzed. It should include a statement of what the author has tried to do, evaluates how well (in the opinion of the reviewer) the author has succeeded, and presents evidence to support this evaluation.
There is no right way to write a book review. Book reviews are highly personal and reflect the opinions of the reviewer. A review can be as short as 50-100 words, or as long as 1500 words, depending on the purpose of the review."
Copied Directly From: http://www.lavc.edu/library/bookreview.htm

I suppose you are right, my reviews tend to be a mixture of literary critique, review, and author feedback. I try and keep my personal opinion professional while giving the author tips to improve and encouraging readers to check out new authors and to give constructive criticism of their own.

Enjoy the Ride,
Cassandra Gables (AKA JeffLeigh)

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Kiddo youre offering me your justification for an affirmative action trophy; learn to write a review.

 

[sr71plt]

Interesting that folks bemoan no one doing reviews and then when anyone starts doing them, they start to complain about what's written and where it's posted and that it doesn't meld with some old review format that hasn't been in operation for a couple of years.

If you want to highlight or comment on a Lit. story here on the forum, I say just go ahead and do it--to your own tune.

(And, no, this isn't linked to whatever JBJ put in the post above it--I don't see JBJ's posts anymore.)

 

[JeffLeigh]

According to this scale, there is nothing here for women unless it's a 10. Let me know when you find one of those. I'll introduce myself to the author.

Oops! I didn't even think about mentioning if it was for men or women, I'm sorry. The scale doesn't even relate to that...it's just a scale for the level of heat in the story, I didn't even think about it being taken in that way. I'll be sure to let you know if it's a clit-flicker or a cock-stroker and so on. Thanks for letting me know!

Enjoy the Ride,
Cassandra Gables (Aka JeffLeigh)

 

[JackLuis]

I think it is good to have someone do these reviews and in the AH, it gives feedback to authors who might need it.

sr had it right and Jimmy is just poking his stick in, do what feels good and fuck the nay sayers, I say

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I think it is good to have someone do these reviews and in the AH, it gives feedback to authors who might need it.

sr had it right and Jimmy is just poking his stick in, do what feels good and fuck the nay sayers, I say

He still hasnt written a review. I mean, if finger-painting limericks on the stall wall is yo thang, then more power to you, but dont call it literature and expect to get away with it.

 

[JeffLeigh]

REVIEW FOR AUGUST 19, 2010

CatherineTheGreatest's Unexpected Delivery

Despite the overabundance of parenthesis and exclamation points, this story of a surprise delivery is a nice piece of action. Of course, that's about all it is - action. Where CatherineTheGreatest has a plot behind her sex-filled story, the characters are rather two-dimensional and serve only as catalysts for the MFM sex. We do get to see a bit of depth into Catherine, but I wouldn't dare to go so far as to call this a character study. What this is guys (and gals) is hot, heavy, and short-worded sex.

"Unexpected Delivery" is about the delivery of a hi fi (whatever that is) and two hot studs to the door of a Ms. Catherine Collins when she's about to head out the door to meet her new man for lunch and a special treat. While the bulk of this story is filled with the heavy sexing these two studs give our forty-something protagonist.

CatherineTheGreatest does a good job of tying in the 'date' at the end of the story and I am glad that she had the foresight to do so because I must admit that towards the end of the sex-fest I was beginning to wonder about her poor old date. Though the sex isn't the best-described and the author seems to prefer action to details I give this story a 6/10 on the Gable's Scale of Erotic Fun. It didn't trip my trigger right away, but the sex is long and varied enough for a good cock-stroking or cunt-flicking on any day. Just don't expect to orgasm as much as Ms. Collins does.

3/5 on the Literotica Rating System, though I think it deserved a 2.5. This story could definitely be fine-tuned with a grammar check and added details. I would also like to know more about this elusive "Shane" and how he knew about Catherine's insatiable sex-drive.

 

[al_Ussa]

Why thank you Cassandra, I'm glad to see that some people appreciated my story. Yes, it was obviously a play off of shark week (if the title didn't already give that away). It was meant to be a cute little gimmick, as well as something of a parody or take off of the more "traditional" mermaid stories.

It may interest you to know that it went through several revisions before I submitted it to the site. I don't think it shows to much, but I can still see some of the earlier ideas that I didn't wind up going with.

Yeah, the story is a little short. Even by short story standards. But then its not meant to be an in depth read either. Its meant to be a cute little story. You read it. Maybe get a chuckle in. And that's about it. I'm not sure it could have been fleshed out, and any ideas I would have used probably would have been better served in a different story.

This goes double for the technical details. It might make for a good story, but not necessarily a hot one, which is why I've been known to play a little fast and loose with facts when it helps create mood or atmosphere.

I'm glad you liked it, and as a side note, I've definitely got intentions to do another one around the same time next year. Just to give you a heads up and all...

PS. Great reviews. I actually like getting stuff like this because it gives me a heads up on any potentially interesting stories I may have missed. Keep up the good work.

 

[al_Ussa]

Its an event without a complication, crisis, and resolution;

Wow. Those are pretty big words for someone like you to use. Do you even know what they mean?

I'm more amazed that you claim to hate me and everyone else yet take the time out of your busy schedule to bitch and moan. Did you read the story? That makes me laugh. Especially since you don't even have any stories posted on this site.

On 2nd thought isnt this story really bestiality?

Sounds suspiciously like your family members no?

IT'S TRUE THAT GOD MADE EVERYONE EQUAL, BUT SOME OF US EVOLVED TO PLAY BASKETBALL AND LOOT, AND SOME OF US EVOLVED TO DO MATH AND SCIENCE.

Hahaha. Well math and science would be us Asians. What did your ancestors evolve towards? Not teaching evolution in schools? Being overweight and wearing stupid polo shirts? Bitching about affirmative action? The world is dying to know.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

al ussa

I'm serious.

What you posted isnt a story, for the reasons I cited; and I can make a case that the report is bestiality. Mermaids, menotaurs, centaurs, and others are animals.

 

[JeffLeigh]

al ussa

I'm serious.

What you posted isnt a story, for the reasons I cited; and I can make a case that the report is bestiality. Mermaids, menotaurs, centaurs, and others are animals.

Not according to Literotica Standards. Sex with any mythological creature is not considered beastiality because the readers can't go home and fuck a unicorn or a mermaid.
Also, because mermaids and centaurs are humanoids I believe that we relate to them less as beasts and more as humans.


Al_Ussa - Please let me know when your next shark week story comes out. I would love to read it and possibly give you a second review.
As a "Cute Little Gimmick" your story was wonderful, and I truly believe it deserved the stars I gave you!

Thanks for stopping by!

 

[JeffLeigh]

REVIEW FOR AUGUST 20, 2010

Just Plain Bob's The Truth About Maggie

Just Plain Bob paints a very nice profile of a man who finds out, after six years of marriage, that his wife is cheating on him. This story is not erotic fiction but it is well written. With a nice voice and in-depth characterization, Just Plain Bob gives us a story that is really about learning what we can and can't live with.
While the protagonist, Rob, seems at first vulnerable, we later find him to be harsh and un-wavering in his values. Maggie, his wife, has a perfectly good explanation for her 'cheating' and her lying, and I feel for her character even though we only see her side of things briefly in conversation with Rob.
Though there are a few word choice and flow issues in this short character study, I gave the author 5/5 stars on the Literotica Rating System. A thoroughly enjoyable read which rates a 1/10 on the Gable's Scale of Erotic Fun. You're not going to get your rocks off on this one, but you are going to enjoy reading about how Rob handles the news of a bisexual wife.