Funniest Vanilla-D/s Encounters...

[Technodivinitas]

I had to start this thread to share one of my own, but I'd love to hear others' experiences, whether your own, or ones you've read/heard about.

Most recently:
I misplaced my collar. (Yes, I do that, no it's not welded to my neck, though maybe it should be after this!) Master, knowing how severely ADD I am, was displeased, but not completely outraged, and threatened severe punishment if I didn't locate it, as in, S-O-O-N! (But he didn't specify either the punishment, nor the time-limit.)

The next morning, still feeling very badly about what I'd done, I was shopping at the local $1 store, and came across a cheap, skanky, bad-fake-leather dog collar with a little blank metal tag rivetted to it's front edge. Inspiration for personal penance struck, and I thought it might please him to see how serious I was about my contrition, so I took it home and pulled out the dremel, scratching in equally skanky junk-yard letters the words "BAD DOG". (I would've gone for something much ranker, say, dumb cunt or stupid slut, but my intention was to wear it everywhere, with everything until he was satisfied, and I didn't want to cross the line of offending the vanillas TOO much.)
I was right- he was pleased. (Though it still didn't cut my time limit, nor lessen the punishment if I failed to find my proper collar...)

So, I'm standing in the Walgreen's in front of the shaving supplies, (See "That Shaving Thing Again"...) and there's a clerk there, restocking shelves. An elder lady, perhaps late fifties, possibly a long-since recovered hippie. She strikes up that conversation. You know the one- about the things we women would NEVER discuss with a stranger, except that we always do, usually across bathroom stall-walls, and in Walgreen's aisles near the tampons or the dipilatories. I'm examining a can of Magic Shave, when she apparently runs out of things to say.

After a moment's not-so-awkward silence, she leans over to me and asks, (in a half whisper,) "Hey- is that a real dog collar your wearing?"

I missed a beat, stunned that anyone would risk mentioning my unusual fashion accessory, and she leaned back, stammering, "No- it's okay- I'm cool with really funky stuff..."

I half growled, "It was a bet."

Unsatisfied, she felt the need to press...
"A bet on what?"

All I could do was look sheepish, offer my own stammer of: "It's complicated," grab my Magic Shave, and bolt for the counter.

Yup. I earned that, didn't I.

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

oh wonderful! most deligthful!

So last night I went out to the bar by myself....

In afterthought prolly not a good idea.. But the place is a regular hang-out for my brother and I know a few of the bartenders, though I go out once in a bluemoon. But yeah I'm there all of about 2 hours.. and in this span of time 4 guys make the rounds.. and well a pretty girl all alone dressed comfortably sexyish is I guess to good bait not to take a bite.. 3 of them took teh hint I wasn't interested with some blunt though kind words about my S/o... the 4th... just.. wow.. He was drunk enough he couldn't take a hint, but not drunk enough to be makeing a loud abnoxiouse ass out of himself... thank the gods for that. I ended up smokeing half a pack of cigarettes.. and explaining the fine art of Bdsm to him. He was sobering up abit by then, and just looked shell shocked.. mind you I live in a small town in wisconsin. He was most deffinately the "big strong man" type.. after indulgeing him for a good 30 hour I had enough of this slobbering.. well just ugh.. he was kinda cute.. but no brains.. typical.. But yeah.. I just leaned towards him to whisper.. which I'm sure he seemed expectant. " I'de love to see you in a pair of my panties..." He damn near fell offa his stool.. half the bar was laughing at him... of course none of them heard me.. But the bartender had seen my eyeflciks to know I wasn't content before that and had tried to lure teh guy away.. Not much of a panty fetish myself.. But it was

The moral of the story..

Bars are conducive to less then intelligent people at times.

And I can't wait to get to work to share with my boss. he'll giggle his ass off.

 

[Big_Wang69]

Dark Lady, ur beautiful. I like the story about the bar. I am a 23/m and I think it is funny how a lot of ppl act in bars also. Too bad that guy was wasted b/c ur fucking hot. I have a pic also if ur interested.

 

[Big_Wang69]

Dark Lady, ur beautiful. I like the story about the bar. I am a 23/m and I think it is funny how a lot of ppl act in bars also. Too bad that guy was wasted b/c ur fucking hot. I have a pic also if ur interested.

 

[Big_Wang69]

Dark Lady, ur beautiful. I like the story about the bar. I am a 23/m and I think it is funny how a lot of ppl act in bars also. Too bad that guy was wasted b/c ur fucking hot. I have a pic also if ur interested.

 

[Technodivinitas]

Hey, uh... DL...?

You didn't tell that drunk guy about the Lit. didja?

 

[bridgeburner]

Moving day about 8 years ago and my wonderful family is helping out. Brass headboard is pulled out of the garage and we hear "clank clank rattle".

My mother takes one look at the handcuffs attached to the frame and says "Oh, Bridge."

"It's just a joke, Ma, honest!"

Sheesh.


-B

 

[Bandit58]

Last New Year's Eve, before I moved to live with Master, I was at a fancy dress party at the local club. Bear in mind that this is a small conservative rural area in New Zealand.....and I am dressed in short black skirt, sleeveless slashed top with safety pins, fishnets and mid calf lace-up boots, and a studded black dog collar. This middleaged guy starts flirting with me, and of course they all know I am moving overseas in about three weeks by that time. I also know he is taken, and do not appreciate being hit on by a balding drunk

The talk gets around to how Master and I met on the internet, and he starts going on about how I need to be sure I know what I am getting into bla bla. So I decide to shock him a little, and grin and point slyly to the collar around my neck. The look on his face had to be seen to be believed - his mouth fell open and he started to stammer And I gave him a wink and said I was quite sure I'd be perfectly fine.......

I wonder why he got up and left after that.....

 

[AvaAdore]

The next morning, still feeling very badly about what I'd done, I was shopping at the local $1 store, and came across a cheap, skanky, bad-fake-leather dog collar with a little blank metal tag rivetted to it's front edge. Inspiration for personal penance struck, and I thought it might please him to see how serious I was about my contrition, so I took it home and pulled out the dremel, scratching in equally skanky junk-yard letters the words "BAD DOG". (I would've gone for something much ranker, say, dumb cunt or stupid slut, but my intention was to wear it everywhere, with everything until he was satisfied, and I didn't want to cross the line of offending the vanillas TOO much.)
I was right- he was pleased. (Though it still didn't cut my time limit, nor lessen the punishment if I failed to find my proper collar...)

So, I'm standing in the Walgreen's in front of the shaving supplies, (See "That Shaving Thing Again"...) and there's a clerk there, restocking shelves. An elder lady, perhaps late fifties, possibly a long-since recovered hippie. She strikes up that conversation. You know the one- about the things we women would NEVER discuss with a stranger, except that we always do, usually across bathroom stall-walls, and in Walgreen's aisles near the tampons or the dipilatories. I'm examining a can of Magic Shave, when she apparently runs out of things to say.

After a moment's not-so-awkward silence, she leans over to me and asks, (in a half whisper,) "Hey- is that a real dog collar your wearing?"

I missed a beat, stunned that anyone would risk mentioning my unusual fashion accessory, and she leaned back, stammering, "No- it's okay- I'm cool with really funky stuff..."

I half growled, "It was a bet."

Unsatisfied, she felt the need to press...
"A bet on what?"

All I could do was look sheepish, offer my own stammer of: "It's complicated," grab my Magic Shave, and bolt for the counter.

Yup. I earned that, didn't I.

see, my defense, which is prefectly legitimate, is "It's not a dog collar. It's a people collar because it's from a people store."

though i just wear a spikey collar as a fashion accessory.


my little story:

this happened the other day actually. i was sitting in the lounge in the students association building at university with my bf. not a particularly crowded place. i was talking to one of my friends (a comedian, actually) with a mouth full of pizza. he jokingly says to my bf "don't you teach her any manners?" and i say (still with my mouth full) "i dont give a shit".

my friend says to my bf "can you believe her? you should beat her around a bit!" so my darling bf grabs me, pulls me down in my chair so my head is between his legs and proceeds to spank me. i went totally red, apparantly. our friend says "good god, i meant walk her into walls or push her down the stairs, not erotically spank her in public!"

as he was spanking me, another person we know walked in, grinned, and sat in the corner. a bunch of our other friends walked in about 2 seconds later, while the rest of us were sitting there laughing. it was fun.

we went home and fucked like bunnies afterwords

 

[Technodivinitas]

Re: Re: Funniest Vanilla-D/s Encounters...

see, my defense, which is prefectly legitimate, is "It's not a dog collar. It's a people collar because it's from a people store."

Except that it wasn't. It really was a dog collar, from the pet section of the dollar store. Next to the rubber bones, ironicly. But don't get me wrong here- I were a collar in public almost every day, and it is noticeably a collar, not a "fashion accesory". (Well, not with the clothing *I* usually wear it with, anyways!) It's an inch-wide band of black double-stitched leather, which arcs on each side to form a V in the front, where it's embellished with a medium-heavy steel "O"-ring. Perfectly acceptable, in a Gothclub, with torn fishnets and a black corset. In a neighborhood drugstore clad in a sun dress, it's a LOT more conspicuous. And I like it that way. And THAT really is a people collar. And I will happily admit to the blush of shame it brought to my cheeks to have to tell that woman Yes, I was wearing a dog collar. (See the femsubs & Humiliation poll/thread.)

Surprisingly, the only comments my real collar ever gets are compliments.

 

[lassarina]

Bump.....



And thanks for the laughs!!

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Ohmigosh!! Those are the best stories. I laughed till tears were running down my face.

My little story:

Master and I were at a little Bed and Breakfast somewhere in North Carolina. It actually had little cabins that they had rented. (You know, for somewhere quiet )

It was pretty far out in the woods, a river next to the main house and trees all around the cabins. Well, I'd worn my "public" collar there and then in the privacy of the cabin, changed into my leather one with the words "S L U T" spelled out in shiny, silver, metal rivets across the front of the throat.

The next morning, we're packing up the car, and I'd forgotten about the leather one being on, showered, dressed and put my hair up in a clip. I took my luggage and some of Master's out to the car, and I'd passed this gentleman of about 70 years old walking up the sidewalk.
I smiled as I passed him and even said a pleasant, "Good Morning".
He replied, "Good Morning" but had given me a such a weird look -- almost like I had a third eye.

I shrugged it off, not thinking anymore about it, until I walked back into the cabin and into the bathroom to make sure all of our toiletries were packed. I glanced into the mirror and spied the leather collar still plainly visible around my throat.
I lost it. I was laughing so hard I thought the cabin next door could hear me. When I told Master what had happened, he literally belly laughed at that. In fact, we laughed about it all the way home.

 

[graceanne]

LOL! I loved these! Heres mine:

The night before we moved into this house me, my husband, my brother, my kids and my day care kid all brought over a load. (Mostly heavy stuff, that's why my brother was there.) Then hubby and brother went to go get the couch, and me and the kids stayed behind so I could get some stuff unpacked. I had packed (under all of my books) my shackles and whip, and then hid it in the back of a closet.
I was putting away some kitchen stuff when my daughter and day care kid walk in with the shackles around their ankles, saying "Look Mommy!" (Of all the boxes for them to be nosy about, why that one?) Anyway, that was bad enough, but the keys? Back at my house in my jewelry box. So my husband and my brother come in, and the kids are still in the shackles. So now my brother in law knows WAAAAAAY more about our sex life then I wanted him too. Hubby had to run back to the house to get the keys.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Vanilla (well, Goth)-D/s encounter

About 2 years ago, my then-wife/sub and I went to a local Goth club with some friends. Two couples of us were D/s, the other couple Goth, but knew we were D/s and were comfortable with it. The other D/s guy and I both brought matched pairs of floggers in with us, just as "fashion accessories."

He and I were playing pool when a very tall (six foot or maybe an inch more) young lady came up with a friend and asked us if the floggers were for each other. "No," I said, with a wicked grin. "They're for smartass little girls who talk to strange men." (Remember - at this time, I'm 52, in a Goth club with a 26-yo wife/sub, and two late-20s couples.)

"Well, I'm a smartass little girl - why don't you do something about it?" she said, as she bent over the pool table and lifted her skirt above her waist. What could I do? I unhooked one of the floggers and whacked her butt a few times. (It was a nice butt, too, lol) Then her friend wanted to try it, so Marc flogged her for a moment. By the time he was done, there were 8-10 more lining up for their turn!

We had to beg off... we were starting to get "the look" from a couple of the bouncers, and our subs were starting to give us the look, too...

 

[bytor2112]

Ohmigosh!! Those are the best stories. I laughed till tears were running down my face.

My little story:

Master and I were at a little Bed and Breakfast somewhere in North Carolina. It actually had little cabins that they had rented. (You know, for somewhere quiet )

It was pretty far out in the woods, a river next to the main house and trees all around the cabins. Well, I'd worn my "public" collar there and then in the privacy of the cabin, changed into my leather one with the words "S L U T" spelled out in shiny, silver, metal rivets across the front of the throat.

The next morning, we're packing up the car, and I'd forgotten about the leather one being on, showered, dressed and put my hair up in a clip. I took my luggage and some of Master's out to the car, and I'd passed this gentleman of about 70 years old walking up the sidewalk.
I smiled as I passed him and even said a pleasant, "Good Morning".
He replied, "Good Morning" but had given me a such a weird look -- almost like I had a third eye.

I shrugged it off, not thinking anymore about it, until I walked back into the cabin and into the bathroom to make sure all of our toiletries were packed. I glanced into the mirror and spied the leather collar still plainly visible around my throat.
I lost it. I was laughing so hard I thought the cabin next door could hear me. When I told Master what had happened, he literally belly laughed at that. In fact, we laughed about it all the way home.

sorry that you have so little self worth that you actually refer to someone as "master"

get help soon

 

[Technodivinitas]

Does unexpected interaction with Bytor qualify as a D/s-Vanilla encounter? (I still say Bytor's not vanilla, so I don't think so...)

I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls...

 

[lassarina]

Does unexpected interaction with Bytor qualify as a D/s-Vanilla encounter? (I still say Bytor's not vanilla, so I don't think so...)

I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls...

Perhaps but not the fun kind.......more like the irritating kind! Is there a thread for that??

 

[graceanne]

Does unexpected interaction with Bytor qualify as a D/s-Vanilla encounter? (I still say Bytor's not vanilla, so I don't think so...)

I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls...

*pouts* Why not?

 

[Hajar]

Grace you know when you go to the zoo you can't feed every animal, well trolls are like that, they are just some type of werid animal that if you feed they keep coming back, like little monsters.



My story isn't as bad, one night after play we just wrapped all the toys up in a towel, and pushed them in the corner of the living room, the next day my step bro came over of course he didn't call first, he's a 21 year old virgin, he pulled the towel for some unknown reason, out fell, hand cuffs, rattan rods, a leather strap, wahl vibe and lube
he turned 6 shades of red, I felt so sorry for him.
But he didn't ask a question which was great, cause I don't know if I could have replied.

 

[graceanne]

Grace you know when you go to the zoo you can't feed every animal, well trolls are like that, they are just some type of werid animal that if you feed they keep coming back, like little monsters.

*pouts more* no one ever lets me have any fun!

 

[Learn Humility]

This was quite a while ago.....I was about 24 or so, and my SO at the time was actually the girl who introduced me to D/s by asking me the second time we were together if I ever had tied a girl up.

Her parents were away, and we were spending a few days at their house. Their headboard had three spires, one at either end and one in the middle.

I tied Wendy's hands behind her head to the middle spire, and while I was having at her, as she began to thrash around she snapped off the spire to which I had tied her hands. Broke the damn thing right off.

As I said, it was a while ago. Unfortunately, I don't remember how she expalined it to her folks when they got home.....http://www.thegodfathertrilogy.net/ubb/graemlins/ohwell.gif

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

get help soon

I guess I need help.

Can someone offer help here?

 

[fallon2]

Me?

thinks that it is not YOU that needs our help but the some what friendly troll who needs help, and desperately!

 

[Betticus]

Does unexpected interaction with Bytor qualify as a D/s-Vanilla encounter? (I still say Bytor's not vanilla, so I don't think so...)

I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls...

I think he's cute. I want to fuck him. You know, eventually.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I think he's cute. I want to fuck him. You know, eventually.

lubed or unlubed....and....... can i watch?