Funniest, or most embarrassing thing to happen during copulation??

[TemptationTango]

OK, I'll go first if I have too(kicking can down street). 19 years ago, when my wife and I were dating I went to her apartment after work. Back then we were humping like rabbits and that night was no different. The next morning, she casually said....."By the way, you fell asleep on me." She was grinning when she said it. Well, in my defense, I was working 3 jobs and clocking in about 90 hours a week, so I made a joke that she should have poked me in the ribs, waved some smelling salts, yelled FIRE or something. That is when she clarified....."No you idiot, you were on top of me, and inside me, and......... you. fell. asleep.!"....."wait...I was in the saddle, and this was pre orgasm(mine of course)???"......."Yep"......... Holeeey crap, in the past I might be properly accused of a post ejaculation snooze, but NEVER a pre EJay......I was devastated.

She never made a big deal out of it, and we ended up getting a pretty long term laugh out of it.....but I still have that dent on my armour

Soooo, watcha all got??

 

[TemptationTango]

C'mon....no one here has loaded a torpedo into tube #2 in the heat of battle? Lost a clit ring in the ...uhmmmmm,, oyster?

 

[pace_purr]

I think one of the funniest things that’s happened to me was when we were swinging I was with a rather boisterous woman on our water bed when it suddenly burst,talk about a passion killer

 

[loveupskirt]

On my honeymoon on a cruise ship, my wife had been teasing me all day long out in public and with another couple we met on the ship. When we finally got alone and were making out, she had me sooooo worked up. As soon as we got naked and I got up on top of her she reach down and stroked my cock and whispered something sexy to me and I immediately shot my load all over her thigh before even getting into her. It was embarrassing, but she took it well and laughed it off, which we still laugh about occasionally even 26 years later.

 

[TemptationTango]

On my honeymoon on a cruise ship, my wife had been teasing me all day long out in public and with another couple we met on the ship. When we finally got alone and were making out, she had me sooooo worked up. As soon as we got naked and I got up on top of her she reach down and stroked my cock and whispered something sexy to me and I immediately shot my load all over her thigh before even getting into her. It was embarrassing, but she took it well and laughed it off, which we still laugh about occasionally even 26 years later.

My wife has told me that she finds it very erotic when I can't hold back and "jump the gun". Luckily(for me) it has only happened a few times in 20 years.

I was petrified on our second date when I knew we were going to make love. I thought for sure, as soon as I saw a nipple, the cork would pop and bubbly would be everywhere. I was separated and had filed for divorce, so I had not had sex in a few months. For an every night kinda of guy, that was like crossing the Sahara desert with no water. Anyway, once things got going a weird calm came over me and I was the master of my domain....luck, .....sheer luck I say.

 

[Lady2020]

I called another's man name. I was totally embarrassed and it wasn't like I had any sexy thoughts abt the other guy. Their names were very close. The thing is my bf turned husband turned ex, didn't forget it, or forgive.

 

[Rockymtnman]

I called another's man name. I was totally embarrassed and it wasn't like I had any sexy thoughts abt the other guy. Their names were very close. The thing is my bf turned husband turned ex, didn't forget it, or forgive.

My brother did that to his long term gf in college. Guess, who didn’t last much longer. I don’t think too many folks get over that one.

 

[Bdm20]

I called another's man name. I was totally embarrassed and it wasn't like I had any sexy thoughts abt the other guy. Their names were very close. The thing is my bf turned husband turned ex, didn't forget it, or forgive.

Im pretty sure this is why, from the beginning of our relationship, my wife rarely uses my name. It’s always “hon.”

 

[Gerilynn69]

Being railed by my lover over the dining room table when the leg gives way and we all end up in the floor. I just laughed.

 

[Not Normal]

I have a similar falling asleep story. In college, I had a GF who was a server at a pizza place and she had to close one Saturday. I had a car and picked her up at 2:30 or so. We went to her apartment and were starting to get at it. I had a hand on her breast and my head on the other. I fell asleep she moved and I was startled and jumped.

 

[AnneMN]

We were taking a walk through the local park in the evening and before I knew it the hubby had his hard cock out ready for me to stroke... unfortunately it was the middle of winter and my freezing cold hands made him zip it up so quickly in his jeans the passion faded before I even had a chance to get started

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

Sex in the car one time back in the day.... manual transmission. Somehow she hit the parking brake with her foot. Car started rolling.

We were both completely naked and scrambling to turn around and get our hands on the parking break.

Fortunately we were in a secluded parking lot so nothing there to hit, and we only rolled like 30 feet.

I've never laughed so hard with a naked woman in my life.

 

[BiWifeMyrtleBeach]

My husband once had the idea to fuck me with one of those nubbed cock sleeves and since it looked interesting to me, I agreed and yes the feeling was intensely pleasureful. But at one point as he was going at it missionary he looked down and gasped, "uhh..ohh". In the heat of passion the sleeve had slipped off his cock somewhere deep in my sex. We stopped and he proceeded to to explore me with his fingers as I worked my pussy muscles to retrieve the thing. All the while his explorations were getting me hotter by the moment until he found the sleeve and pulled it out. We finished but it was one of those rare occasions I could barely look up at him without busting into laughter.

 

[Kitschshaman]

Broke the bed, yeah. I felt like Wiley Coyote being suspended in the air for a millisecond, then boom as the slats holding the mattress up cracked and we all fell, both us and the mattress. It destroyed the sexual moment, but we laughed like there was no tomorrow.

 

[LLCox]

I called another's man name. I was totally embarrassed and it wasn't like I had any sexy thoughts abt the other guy. Their names were very close. The thing is my bf turned husband turned ex, didn't forget it, or forgive.

I called another womans name... she knew her. We kept on fucking.

 

[Trubbycat]

I can't think of anything I can repeat here, but I'll mention an anecdote that happened to a couple in my circle of friends that has become a quiet legend...
They were in missionary, both on top of the bed, naked. The room wasn't large so one side of the bed was close to the wall. They had a cat... Unbeknownst to them as he was humping away, his bollocks were swinging back and forth like a shopping bag. The cat had crept onto the bed, was intrigued and took a swipe at the pink thing that looked like fun. He screamed in fright and ended up falling into the gap between the bed and the wall. They agreed their subsequent laughter was better than sex anyway. They kept the door closed after that.

Similar story here. My wife and I were doing the missionary and going at it pretty good. Our cat always slept with us and often refused to leave the bed when we'd have sex so as long as he stayed at the foot of the bed we'd just ignore him. I'm doing my wife rather vigorously and all is well... until I feel something smacking me on the ass and it isn't her. Evidently our lovemaking was keeping him awake and he was swatting my ass as I humped the missus. I stopped and he stopped, and when I resumed lovemaking he started swatting my ass again! Hilarious!

 

[gtnlynn]

The most embarrassing thing happened on our wedding night. We had dated almost eight years with no sex, just hand jobs and fingering, although she had sex with others. Finally, I had her naked on the bed, legs spread, with her fingers opening herself to me. I inserted my cock and almost immediately shot my load. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Fortunately, she was understanding and gave me time to reload. We had sex seven times that night, and six of those times were great.

 

[Trubbycat]

My wife has sleep issues and can never sleep more than an hour or two at a time. She's always tired and gif she sits still for a while she'll conk out. Forget watching tv... Haven't taken her to the movies in ages! This happens in bed too. She'd be giving me a handjob and I'd be getting into it and...

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

In sympathy to the original poster, this happens. How someone can fall asleep with a lubed up hand wrapped around a throbbing erection is one of the mysteries of (sex) life.

 

[Rockwell12]

Not sure if it was the first time with the wife, but at least one of the first few. We had been fondling each other and getting worked up. By the time I got in there, I lasted about 2 pumps. That was pretty embarrassing.

Another time we were out of town and had a good night at the hotel planned but needed a few items. Went through the checkout lane at the grocery store with a six pack of beer, condoms, lube and an enema.

 

[eroticspank]

My gf and I were making love at a hotel in Chicago. At the point of orgasm, she reached up and grabbed the headboard, and ripped it off the wall. It fell on us and we tumbled onto the floor. Lucky for us the nails and sharp splinters were on the other side of the headboard laying on us. I could not stop laughing and she was very embarrassed. It was not easy explaining to the staff how the headboard came off the wall.
ES

 

[Rollwithit2023]

a guy was fucking me so hard that i pooped

 

[Marielani]

OK, I'll go first if I have too(kicking can down street). 19 years ago, when my wife and I were dating I went to her apartment after work. Back then we were humping like rabbits and that night was no different. The next morning, she casually said....."By the way, you fell asleep on me." She was grinning when she said it. Well, in my defense, I was working 3 jobs and clocking in about 90 hours a week, so I made a joke that she should have poked me in the ribs, waved some smelling salts, yelled FIRE or something. That is when she clarified....."No you idiot, you were on top of me, and inside me, and......... you. fell. asleep.!"....."wait...I was in the saddle, and this was pre orgasm(mine of course)???"......."Yep"......... Holeeey crap, in the past I might be properly accused of a post ejaculation snooze, but NEVER a pre EJay......I was devastated.

She never made a big deal out of it, and we ended up getting a pretty long term laugh out of it.....but I still have that dent on my armour

Soooo, watcha all got??

So my boyfriend at the time lost a condom inside me.
we had sex and after he realizes the condom is gone. We look everywhere. In his bed and under it.
I had to go and he took me home. Assuring me it’s there. It wasn’t.
was a mystery.. till like two weeks later I discover it while exploring myself.
a used filled condom stuck up me for two weeks. Double yuck

 

[eroticspank]

a guy was fucking me so hard that i pooped

Yikes! I had a gf that farted and it was very bad. We had spicy Chinese food that smelly farts.
ES

 

[Rollwithit2023]

Yikes! I had a gf that farted and it was very bad. We had spicy Chinese food that smelly farts.
ES

Yeah you have to be careful what you eat…. That also affects the taste of a guy’s semen

 

[eroticspank]

Yeah you have to be careful what you eat…. That also affects the taste of a guy’s semen

I completely agree. I remember walking through a buffet line and when I came to the broccoli the woman on the other side told me to eat up, it makes you taste good!!
ES